JiaQian's corner

Year 2010

2010-01-20T12:17:00.002+08:00

Well again, long time never post.
Anyway, this year will be another start for me!
Time to make some New Year Resolution!
Well, if I said it, I must accomplish it!
1) Lesser procrastinate
2) Be more hardworking! (2x!)
3) Stay confident but do not be overconfident
4) Stay positive
5) Be humble but not stupid/act blur
6) Treat my family, friends and girlfriend nicer!
7) Stay calm
8) Get to know more people
9) Be successful in what I'm doing!
10)Last but not least, be happy and bring joy to everybody around me.

Cheers!
Hope this will be a great year for everyone else too!

Regards,
JiaQian

Message to my Sister

2009-12-04T11:01:00.003+08:00

Right from the start, you look down on what im doing. No matter how many times i tried to say, honestly, im tired
of explaning and no, i don't want to say much anymore. If you can comprehend what im trying to say, i don't have
to say so many times.
Since im young i don't get any support from any of you, but it's fine. I can prove what i want to do is right.
Im not your 12 year old brother anymore thanks.

I already told you to change your way of speaking. It xxxxxxx irritates me by the tone and way you are talking.
You straight away ask me, don't do this don't do that. Ask me straight away delay my thing. HAD YOU EVER THINK IN
MY SHOES? NO! Why cant you explain the scenario and ask me if i have any solution or not FIRST? Im telling you again,
I DECIDE MY PATH, NOT YOU.

You didn't even tell me the date you are going, you are going for a ***** 1 wk and you ask me to delay for a month.
Can you think straight? I may be possible to work harder for that certain period so i may be able to excuse myself
for this short period. DID YOU THINK WHAT IM TRYING TO DO? NO. You will only complain what im selfish all this shit
but did you ever think in my shoes? No. You think and you assume what you always think is right. Sorry but that's
not my way.

You think i don't want to let you go for holidays? Bullshit. You think im selfish? BUllshit. You only think you
want to go for holidays and you want me commit and adjust to your schedule. Who is the one that is selfish now?
PLEASE THINK ABOUT it. It all comes down to your way of talking. Ask yourself, do you sound like you are asking
me for help? NO! YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE COMMANDING WHAT TO DO FOR YOUR SAKE.

Long long time ago, i already asked you to look for people then i can teach that person what to do and etc, did
you do that? No. You dragged and dragged what you are supposed to do. And it's in terms of months, you ask me
check email or other things, im doing other things and i merely dragged afew mins and you are not happy??
What do you want to prove?
That your temper is ultimate?
You don't do what you said, you don't change your bad
habit, you are stubborn but despite these, father and I kept trying to tell you or advise you on these. But you
still didn't change.

Now in your brain you can only think about how selfish im and how good life are we. Did you ever try to change it?
No. Please, complain doesn't solve the problem but finding solution does. And what does it takes for finding
solution? Time, efforts, sleep. I gave these up for that extra things im looking for. Did you do that? Honestly
still no, you complain that you don't have enough education and we can study until so high. SO WHAT? TOLD YOU this
world is ****ing filled with people with degrees, if you really want to study, go ahead and study part time. Why
not? But you doesn't want to sacrifice your sleep and free time for these do you?

I had been doing full time and part time things for 4 years already, everyday with a few hrs of sleep, how good
life am i compared to a person with more that 8hrs of sleep? Every achivement, every rewards may look nice on the
surface, but had you ever looked at the story behind it? Every play, every cents you earn come with tremendous
efforts, but people often looked at the results only. Why must you be part of everyone? Why can't you look at the
story behind every success?

There are three birds on a railing, you took a shotgun and shot one of the birds down, how many birds will be left?
Two? No, none. The other 2 birds flew away upon hearing the sound. Look at things in a different perspective please.

If you want to go to Taiwan that badly, don't you want to tell me the timing first, so I can try to fix and do
whatever i can? Im telling you, im sacrificing myself for your sake, not the other way round. But no, I don't want
to change my starting date, it'll be another month that i'll be looked down by you. Though i don't feel what im
doing is wrong.

If anyone thinks that im having a good life, think again. What are the sorrows and tough times behind all these? I absorbed it and I can still have a happy face, thanks to my optimistic nature. I don't say my sorrows doesn't means that I have none.

--jiaqian-->

2009-11-04T15:35:00.002+08:00

I kept wondering what im afraid of. As in what is my real fear.
No im not afraid of insects, monsters, ghost or whatsoever.
After so long, I finally found out it is. I fear that I will lose any of my family members, again.

2009-08-27T13:54:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it's quite sad that you are 'fast'.
Sometimes people tend to take that for granted.
Sometimes people felt stress.

Things that can be seen, touched, heard, smell, tasted are usually the things that aren't as scary as things that cannot be sensed by human's five senses.

In life, it's usually the small things that made things perfect.
Everybody can do something in general, but not the little things.

Regards,
JiaQian

Scary

2009-08-04T15:48:00.000+08:00

It's so scary when I realise how awful this world is.

It's full of lies and backstabbing!
No one can be fully trusted.

How people took advantage of the trust others gave him and cheat them.
How people merely sacrificed a few years just to cheat poeple off their hard-earned money.

Im very glad, seriously very glad, that I had heard these. But at the same time, it reaped off my 100% trust in people. Be it friends, relatives, spouse, family. Very disappointed.

Only if I can be very cold-hearted. Only if I don't feel a thing.
Sadly, as a human, I too, will be shaken.

God is fair, they give me some good things. They gave me something which I can never change.

My world revolves around my feelings.

The sky will always be gray. The rainbow is there, for you to discover.

Can't understand, it's fine.

Regards,
JiaQian

CGProtege

2009-07-03T16:05:00.002+08:00

Time really flies.
I have been insdie CGProtege learning animation for 2 months already.
I am really very glad that I got in here. After this 2 months of training, I felt that my past animation is really lousy to the core. Honestly, this is not only a wonderful place to study animation, but a great place to work as well (I think =p). So far, the people are really nice and helpful towards each other. Without the help of the 2 core lecturers (also production staffs), I am still in my own world of lousy animation. Because of them I realised how hard and detailed animation can be! After all the hard work, I really felt satisfied with the animations I did. 4 more months to go, I believe I can learn much much more out of this. Of course, not forgetting David kwok for giving me the opportunity to learn in here as well!

All the past animations can be removed from my portfolio!
Please refer to http://jiaqian.110mb.com to view my portfolio.
I'll update it whenever I got the time =)
At the meanwhile, stay tuned to more animations =D

--jiaqian-->

2009-05-19T22:22:00.003+08:00

How do I hate someone who I can never hate.
How can I make another person know things behind the surface without hurting them?
How can I treat it as nothing had happened when I know someone is hurting me behind my back?
Tell me, how can I trust people when I can't trust or believe what the people closest to me?

Human always think about things in their point of view. They can forgo other people feelings because the feelings they felt is stronger than the other person (provided that he think in the other person point of view). The fact is nobody can really feel how the other person felt because he is not in his shoes.

Why do I refrain from saying things out at times? Because I already know how the person will feel when I say it out. Honestly, I tried it, I felt it. I still see so many people talking and feeling themselves in their own world. I know whenever I say some truth or facts out, I will bound to hurt someone. They don't understand.

Tell me and enlighten me how to fight against my inner-self. Life is really boring. It's just repetitives, nothing new.

Learning more about myself is scary and it is harder for others to understand me. Sigh.

--jiaqian-->

Things will never be the same again

2009-04-07T00:08:00.002+08:00

I always believed that a wounded heart will never mend.
As time passes, the wound closes up, but the scar will always be there, which only you yourself will be able to see and feel it. But what happens when the wound havn't get healed, and it is cut again and again, as if it is not deep enough.
What happens if the heart suffers damage from within the wound?
It is known as internal injury.

It hurts so much when both the surface and the inside are slashed over and over, like you enjoyed the feeling.

What's there to give and take?

2009-04-06T23:14:00.003+08:00

Issn't it better if we never talked? When there is more contact, there will be more conflicts.

People always say give and take. I give, I take what? Something that I don't want, I don't need?
I had enough of heartaches, please don't give me anymore of it, I just can't take in anymore.

1) I know you are lonely at times, I know you want somebody to accompany you when you do something. I can give you the time I have to accompany you. Listen to you sing, listen oldies with you. I can wake up early to accompany you to do whatever you want. I can help you to do things when you are tired or lazy to do something. I can accept it when I did something wrong. I can accept it if it was a mistake of me. I can do what you need and want, even if it's something I don't like.

Why don't I get the authority to do something I like?
I can't take it when you scream at me over a small thing. For example: I only asked where you all are seated this afternoon. What do I get to deserve getting scolded and screamed by you. Why must you keep saying I'm dumb just because you are not talking properly. Why must you scold me for something you can't remember? Why must you scold me when you can't find me, when I'm at the same place. Why must you scold me when I'm concern about you and don't want to let you walk too much under the hot sun? Why must you scold me when I'm concern about you and don't want you to eat too much fattening food? It's not like you never ate for a long time or didn't ate any at all. When must you scold me for something I never did? Why must you scold me for sisters never close the door? Why must you scold me when I open windows. Why must you scold me when I close windows. Why must you scold me when I watch TV and later on ask why I don't watch TV? Why must you scold me when I play games to relax myself? Why must you scold me when I read at novels? Why must you scold me when I'm doing the things I like to do?
quote" I ask you to xxxxx you xxxxx!!!!! "

What can I do? Scold someone? Hit someone? No, I cant break your heart, I need to swallow my pride and anger. I love you more than anything in the world, it breaks my heart as much as you do when I see you unhappy. Likewise, it makes me happy when I see you happy.

2) Why must you have a black face every morning? It's not my fault that you didn't sleep well. Why must you command me like I must defintely do something? When must you talk like you are never wrong? Why must you give me attitude when somebody made you angry? Why can't you admit your mistakes? Why must you have inner conflict yourself and claim it's my mistake? How can I ever satisfy you if you don't have a fixed system yourself. Why must you blame me for something I taught you and you don't remember? Why must you always ask me to do this and that when I'm free? I'm never free. Why do you think that you are far more matured than me when you can't get out of the circle yourself despite everybody kept asking you to move on? Why must you indulge yourself in unhappiness when you can try to do other things that may make you happier? Why must I be the obvious two-face to talk to someone you don't like, which I don't like as well? Why must you scream and shout at me when you called me to ask how to spell something? Why must you give me attitude everytime? Why must you always spoil my day? Why must you get so mad just because I pointed out at your mistake? Why must you get angry when you lost something? Why can't you accept people commenting on you?
No I don't need food. No I don't need money. I don't need your car when you don't need it. I don't need your comments when you can't understand and comprehend what I'm trying to say. I don't need all these. I just need you to build a better character within and move on with your life, giving more real smiles.
Why must everything go in your way? Why are you always right when you are not? Why must you always discourage in whatever thing I want to do?
quote " Nevermind one, nevermind one. You good for nothing! "

What am I?
I'm someone to look for when you need labour.
I'm someone to look for when the food is not healthy because I exercise once a long time.
I'm someone to look for when you need someone to pass a message.
I'm someone to look for when you need a lift.
I'm someone to look for when you need to know how to spell a word.
I'm someone to look for when you don't have time to do something.
I'm someone to look for when you need help in your computer.
I'm someone to look for when you need some song.
I'm someone to look for when you need to know something.
I'm someone to blame whether it is or not my fault.

Give me, something that I want instead of something that I didn't want.
I don't really have much things that I want.

Too tired.. to continue..

--jiaqian-->

2009-03-05T14:54:00.002+08:00

Sometimes failure is not the worst thing in life. I don’t believe life has a better teacher than failure. If you fail once and you don’t give up on yourself, failure can only motivate you to fighter harder and work smarter. Sometimes failing also lets you know the limits of your ability, helps you to know yourself better. I can never understand why singapore can do so unforgiving of failures. Failing in school is not a sin. Some people are just not cut out for academia. Why should we equate failures in school as failures in life. It is something I could never understand. There are many things that one could do wellÂ in life even if he had never done well in school. I wonder how many people never live up to their full potential just because they let their failures in school affect them later on in life.

-Quoted from http://www.insanepoly.com/blog/?p=473-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never to give myself or yourself up.
Stand up when you fall;
Strive harder when you fail.

I have had a lot of people around me always criticising. The best way to put these critism is to accept the good critisms and learn from the bad critisms.

Thank you to all who criticised, and thanks a lot to those people who kept encouraged me. Thank you a lot.

One day I will succeed, I believe.

--jiaqian-->

2009-02-10T00:21:00.003+08:00

I want to do things that I like to do, I want to do. I don't wanna care about any other people feelings anymore.
It's making me feeling terribly miserable. Why must I do this?

People always say you give in life. I can give everything to people, what can people give me? Give me love? Give me support? Give me what?
Why aren't I seeing anybody giving me things that I want?

Hell with this world.
Fucking emo now. Emotionally unstable.

Hates

2009-02-09T21:36:00.003+08:00

Personally, I hate myself beeing born.

I hate myself being miserable, because I thought of other people feelings.
I hate myself to behave in some ways which I don't wish myself to be because the way im being brought up.
I hate myself growing up, without knowing what is love.
I hate myself being alone from young until now.
I hate myself for been able to feel for others.
I hate myself for being trapped in bonds.
I hate myself for knowing more about me.
I hate myself for having emotions.
I hate myself for crying easily.
I hate myself for having nobody to depend on.
I hate myself for having a false fitness.
I hate myself for being soft-hearted.
I hate myself for losing a brother.
I hate myself for being unable to change others.
I hate myself for allowing others to speak.
I hate my background.
I hate myself from allowing others to speak what is untrue about me.
I hate sympathetism.

I had hate too many things in the world to show.
To be honest and sadly, nobody in my family is ever happy.
All of our life can be written as a story, a touching and sad one.

digusting world
--jiaqian-->

sian

2008-12-19T11:18:00.002+08:00

Time after 21 year old flies!
It felt like it's only been awhile, and im 23 already!

Had been working in my father's place for 2mths already.
Of course there are pros and cons. Felt so sianz sometimes, not as in nothing to do, but as in their attitudes.

Went to a company (AIP Studios) for one day to try out architectual design. The first day learned alot of things. Although it's quite hard to picture the whole look initially, but after some guidance from them, im able to access it better already. But still, east coast is really too far from my place. 3 hrs per day, and $5 of transport per day is still too much. Woke up at 7.30am and reached home at 11.30pm at the first day is too extreme! It's kind of their lifestyle and working style over there, start work at 10am and work endlessly.

My birthday celebration was quite fun! Although it's abit tiring preparing and cleaning up, but it's worth it! Not forgetting to thanks to my brothers and my dear on helping me out! Thanks to all the ppl who came too.

13th Dec is one year anniversary with my dear! Happy one year anni! =D
Glad that we made it through (sounds kinda bad) haha..

Christmas coming! Early Christmas wish to everybody! Cheers~

--jiaqian-->

2008-11-11T13:13:00.004+08:00

Heh, what had i been doing all these years?

Learning all sorts of things which issn't industrial-friendly.

Think think... how to make it big.
How should i start out.. plenty of things to brush up and think of!

Gogo Jiaqian!
Think of it, my name is hard to pronounce to alot of people!

--jiaqian-->

2008-10-27T22:22:00.002+08:00

Hi, long time since i posted. Been very busy all these while.
I shalln't post much though, because don't have the mood and quite sian now.

Well anyway, just celebrated Shujuan birthday at bpp swenson with jianzhang, shujuan, eugene, hongleong and junsheng. Weird swenson, cannot put cake inside the fridge. Happy birthday to shujuan!

Well, tml is dear birthday. Happy birthday to u~

-losing my sanity- (dun ask me y, i'll surely say im fine ~.~)
--jiaqian-->

Great movie: Wall-E

2008-09-04T23:41:00.003+08:00

Watched Wall-e yesterday night with Wenda.
It's a great show!! There are not much conversation.
The animation, the music and efx, are so nicely done!
Not only so, it also reflected how badly earth is now. It's so amazing that creativity can stretch that far, and how it is presented. The story about the robots are decent too. The animation just attracts me so much!

Mmm.. Wei lie today birthday, he gave us cck gang pizzahut treat! Thanks alot!
Happy birthday to you~~

--jiaqian-->

clone wars

2008-08-29T19:20:00.003+08:00

I went to watch Star Wars: the clone wars with dear after winning the tickets from yahoo.movies. Some of the parts are quite funny. Watch for yourself, support animated movies! Animated film industry vs Game industry..

Well, i just broke one of my bulbs in my room. It flashed and flashed, so i took the stairs and sigh.. hoped i was much taller, really. Brought me alot of unhappiness. Alright well, i tip-toed on the stairs with my left hand holding on to the roof, and try to twist the bulb, wondering is it loose or what. The bulbs creaked and cracked everytime i touched at them, pressed them or twist them.. -_- Oh well, i think i broke the spoiling bulb anyway. Think i should get it fix tomorrow morning.. too dark i cant see anyway.
Hate my height, really! =(

--jiaqian-->

7th month

2008-08-24T23:45:00.004+08:00

Been very busy these two days, help out with setting up of 7th month dinner, as well as having dinner at jurong west on sat, and today at my area.

Well, i can say it's quite fun actually. Don't look at it as 'sai kang' but another event in life. Had bball today too, although not for long, but exercising after so long is great.

Helped a bunch of old aunties move the 7th month bucket to her house. Oh, it's the new people moving in behind my house, but they don't know me, i don't know them anyway~ Quite heavy and can only use the fingers to grip it. Well, at least doing some good thing feels good.

Guys, know what is 'ren mian shou xin'? Oh well, 'the thing' smile smile infront of people, but when one of our so-called neighbours went up the stage to take photos etc, she can tell infront of her friend: Don't know why must she stand at the middle, die die also want to stand at middle. She's so weird.
Well, sense some kind of hatred.

Smiling gives people a sense of relaxtion. Smile when facing anybody, smile when leaving. What im talking is is a real smile of course! Bu zhi bu jue zhong, i know alot of uncles and aunties around this area, although i don't know who they really are, or stay where. Ironic issn't it.

The dance and dinner starts and end. Sometimes, i feel im quite out of place and lonely. Just looking at the performance, glancing around and laughs, alone. Walking back home for a loo, i only see the shadow tracing behind me.

Today learned something as well! My father woke me up for breakfast, and we talked. Seriously, even when i want to start my own gaming business, i should start small and gain experience too. But i also don't think i'll be sticking to this only, too boring. I want to involve in multiple business, having to run own restaurant or coffee shop as well defintely sounds good. Everything is tough at hard, without any guidelines too.

*yes, im quite emo these days. I don't know to smile or laugh or cry*
--jiaqian-->

Enjoy life

2008-08-23T23:26:00.002+08:00

Somehow, sometimes, i like the busy me, whereas sometimes i just love to sit around and look at the view around me.
Sometimes i ponder, should i be always so busy, or should i just relax and enjoy everything. Well, i guess i should do both, its my character anyway.

My father, he is always very busy, cant stop doing something. He wants to do everything fast! Whenever i do things slow, can't escape from his shouting. It's not really a bad thing sometimes, because it means efficiency. I must had inherited his fast eating habit, but i had slowed myself down tremendously these yrs.

Slow-moving me, will often try to stop thinking anything and just stare blank. I feel that's a waste of time, but i cant stop enjoying it sometimes. Escapism from the real world -temporary-.

Life happens like water. Sometimes in rapids, sometimes gentle flowing, occasionally fall from high area. We flow from top to bottom, just like we grow from young to old. Things that you missed, doesn't get a second chance. Sometimes gentle flowing water doesn't means good: you got trapped at a drain -forever-. Sometimes when you get caught in rapids, it doesn't necessary means bad luck too, it may brings you to new places with excitment. The same in life, when you are having a smooth life doesn't means it is good, ironic! When you face numerous difficulties in life, you learn, you overcome and you grow stronger, and be a better person.

No matter what, we can only believe in ourselves. Im a person with plenty of weakness, i lived through plenty of rapids, i almost died afew times, i regret, im a laughing stock, im myself.

--jiaqian-->

Dream

2008-08-20T14:16:00.002+08:00

I dreamt of my brother this morning.
Though not himself, but i wondered what message is he trying to deliver..

There's a note saying: Sorry I don't be able to see you all.
And after that, his drawn face appeared on the surface of the paper.

I cried, in the dream and when i woke up.
I still miss him.

--jiaqian-->

Be Strong

2008-08-19T22:57:00.000+08:00

Be strong and stay strong. =)

Hi

2008-08-14T11:48:00.002+08:00

It's mid august now!
One more month and is my fyp project deadline. It's so fast! *gan jiong*
Quite alot of things to do these days, regardless of own things or sch work or freelance. Gotta get my mood right to get everything working in a speedy way.

Time really flies, awhile ago i just get enrolled into sim, and just in a blink, im graduating. Gonna get back to the boring and systematic working life. Part of life issn't it? As long as it is something related to work, it will become boring. I know some may disagree, but well, it's good that you love your job and disagree with me.

bad condition

2008-08-03T10:40:00.002+08:00

It's been some time now, Wenda still havn't come back to Singapore~~ ~2 wks more =\
So long so long =(

Anyway, condition hadn't been really good for the past 1week plus. First I had intermident fever, but i don't see any mosquitoes bite so i doubt is dengue.
Before the fever could settle down, my dental appointment at 28th July kicked in.
I plucked out my right lower jaw wisdom tooth!
This time i took it out at Bt Gombak, the price is outrageously expensive! Including the GST charges etc, it cost me $7xx. Pocket big hole now sigh =(
Oh and i thought my fever had gone down and i told the dentist afew days ago i had fever. He gave me the thermometer oh and i realise i still has fever hehe.

The painful process begins again. Today is the fifth day, and i still can't open my mouth wide enough. Must eat like super gentle and slow. Can't eat much food also /sigh.

Well, my fyp is getting smoother now, everybody assigned with their parts and i hope soon we will be able to compile more and more things together and work towards a better grade!

Weekly basketball is getting more and more dull, people are either too lazy to play, or too busy to play. Sighz,why do i sigh so much in this post? Sighzzz~~ Hope to play basketball soon!

Yesterday went to play Sanguo with co for one round hah. Micro like shit and don't know what im doing hehe~

--jiaqian-->

facts of life

2008-07-01T19:40:00.003+08:00

Another post from me today =)

Some facts in life: Greed or Need
Before you want something, do you think that it is a greed, or is it a need?
Is that something you wanted so badly because you need it, or it is just to fulfill your desire?
Things that are not really needed can be ignored, but how many of us are actually doing this? Think about it, our mentality always lose to things that are not really needed, but those things that we must do, ironically, we tend not to do it.
This is an inner confliction that needs to be overcomed!

Example 1: Do I really need that ipod?
Example 2: Do I really need to stay up late to watch soccer?
Example 3: Do I need to help out with my parents?
Example 4: Do I really need to spend the money and etc etc.
Example 5: Do I need to start planning ahead?

Usually, convinient and comfort wins. But in this world, there is no free meal. To overcome this, we provide incentives.

Example 1: Cutting down on weight is a torture!
Solution: I can spend lesser on eating and save up the money and get that really nice Prada bag!
( win - win situation!)

Example 2: It is so troublesome to start working on this project, let's leave it to later.
Solution: After completing this project early, i'll reward myself my giving myself to a big treat, or 'something that you loves to do most'!

Balancing work and incentives will make life easier and make us a better person.

Management is another issue. Ah, tired.

--jiaqian-->

Time flies!

2008-07-01T19:06:00.002+08:00

Time flies! A moment ago i was talking about the new semester, and now, the semester had ended! This is an incredible hard semester, and well, i had managed to get through it. The results is out, i got 69 for CSCI366 Multimedia Computing and 65 for CSCI 356 Game Engine Fundamentals. It is not a decent result, but it is not that bad either.

So this is the breakdown of my results, except my current semester, which is the FYP.
CSCI236: 3D Modelling and Animation - 84
CSCI346: Game Development - 71
CSCI356: Game Engine Fundamentals - 65
CSCI366: Multimedia Computing - 69
CSCI322: Systems Administration - 68
CSCI336: Computer Graphics - 71

My FYP project is about a driving simulator game. We had yet to finalized on a game engine which is not that good. Well, let's hope this to be a successful FYP.

It's the second day that Wenda went back to indonesia. 1-2mths time is not a short period, but it's fine. =)

Of course, plenty of things happened within these months, it'll be hassle to remember everything and write them down here. I'll try to post as frequenly as possible.

That's for all now~

--jiaqian-->

wisdom tooth

2008-04-30T16:55:00.003+08:00

Yes im here blogging now. LOL
It had always been busy after the school starts.
3rd semester! Time passes so fast, very soon im going to graduate!!
But the modules this semester is hard.
CSCI356 Game engine fundamentals
CSCI366 Multimedia computing

Both of them are very programming intensive, what made it worse is the lecturer sucks.
Casey Chow who teachers CSCI356 is improving and gave us more examples fine, but the new lecturer from China who teaches us CSCI366 totally cannot make it! Totally cannot understand, and it's not just me! Everybody couldn't understand what is he trying to teach.

I had a very swollen mouth last week. Initially i thought im too heaty because of too many crabs. But later on it get so worse and painful. I want to see doctor but didn't really have time because of school and alot of school work. I also not sure whether should i see a dentist or doctor.

In the end, on Monday, i finally went to see dentist! The dentist say it is due to the wisdom tooth growing horizontally, and i had took a risk by not visiting dentist or doctor. It could had been infected and.. i forgot what she said.

So in the end i took on the surgery and had my wisdom tooth plucked out. The process was horrible. I had to take the ....... that made me numb four times! My tooth was so strong that dentist had to cut my gums again and again the cut my tooth into four pieces to take it out.

After the tooth was removed, it was so painful for the first two hours. Initially i planned to go to sch after that, but it was so painful that i cant even sit still. So i decided to go home and rest. Thanks dear for bringing me so much things haha.. Thanks thanks!~~

It had only been two days after the extraction, but i had been eating things that issn't that good lol. I had tibits, rice, noodles, and even long john silver! omg. But it will be fine! I still have another wisdom tooth, if it has no need to extract it, i don't want to!! Pure suffering.. lol

Oh and actually i had those wisdom tooth long ago. Just that i didn't know it is wisdom tooth! I thought it was just my normal teeth. Lol

--jiaqian-->

Start of new semester!

2008-04-02T18:50:00.002+08:00

As usual, i havn't been updating since the last time.

Today is the start of my new semester. Semester 3! Woah time passes so fast. Before you know it, 1/2 a year had already passed. Well, i got back my results as well.
CSCI236 (3D modelling and animation) - 84(D) *argh left 1 point to get AD*
CSCI346 (Games development) - 71(C) *sigh.. I didn't manage to get a D as i promised.
Now im thinking back of the questions and answers.. If i had got those questions right, i could had score better. Careless mistakes.. not like i forgotten the answers. Well, i must take it as a lesson and try my best this semester, but with increased challenge.
I converted to a full time basis and now the competition is defintely getting stronger. I must work harder so as to maintain the same result/get better result.

Just before I started this semester, i went to bintan with dennis and his friends. Total of eight people. Dennis, Vince, Eugene, Jessica, Joanna, Meiyan and me. Ah well, eugene and jessica is in same course as me, just that i just switched over to full time class. It is a nice trip! Really need to learn to slow down my pace sometimes, not to do everything in such a hurry. Singaporeans pace is too fast.

Oh yeah, i played archery in bintan. Been a dream to play archery, it's so fun!

Upon arriving Singapore, everybody is moving so quickly. Im getting back to this pace again? Sigh..

Keep having some quarrels with my dear, but it's fine. Fourth month soon.. =)

Frozen in time
-jiaqian-->

=(

2008-03-12T00:01:00.002+08:00

Very sian, i just think my father doesn't like me that much. More biased towards my sister as well. I also feels that he likes talking to my sister more.

Very sad with me in this family, everything just doesn't seems right.
9+ saw my father eating dinner alone behind, go accompany him and he asked me jp got sell dunno what, but he mean memory card. I say got and he ask me go and buy it.

So i faster want go jp and buy it, at gate saw my elder sister and she ask me going where.
Then she also want to quarrel with me say dad say not hurry don't need buy, and ask me go gek poh buy say jp very exp. Where got sell lah! No reason also want to argue.

Buy le come back, father tried and cannot use. Kena scold say why never try, things must try one, computer things cannot trust 1! Why like that! Its SD card also wat wtf, where got so sway or what. Later tell me ppl cannot trust etc 1, in other words, he also means cannot trust me ba. Sad..

My computer cannot read memory cards and burn, only my sister laptop can, so i ask her to help dad. Later on copy v long i come down study first my dad hurry me twice again.. Later i go up ask my sister how is it le, she say dad got go up and tell her nvm, keep inside the comp first loh. Like so different treatment.

Sunday also quarrel with dear.. haiz..

Stupid stepmother today come back also straight away go inside her room and watch tv. 6+ automatically open the door expecting me to go buy dinner and ask her whether she wants to eat or not. Where got such people! Too bad i going out to eat... and she bought chicken rice which is so oily for my father..

Life is so hard, the closer you are with a person, the worse it will get. So much conflicts.. Sigh.. Eating toast bread now~ nv go toast it tml expire already.. Sigh..

--jiaqian-->

Happy new year

2008-02-19T00:37:00.002+08:00

Happy new year to all, though it is a bit late and the mood issn't there already. But still, it is not over yet! It is still a joyful session~

Well anyway, had a great time these days, happy ^^ Though sometimes i will feel like i don't really have much emotion.

Wenda cooked spaggetti for me today! Thanks! Though you say it is not very nice, but i still think it's great~~ Thanks! Hugz!

Ok, now my wow account subscription had ended, i will concentrate fully on my assignments and after that is done, it will be mugging time and study hard for exams! I want to get at least a distinction this time! At least there is one module which im quite confident of, although it is a different software ^^

Movies these days are great as well, i watched kungfu dunk. As a person who loves to play bball, i will defintely rate it very high~ How long can i last in playing the way i always do, i don't know, but i defintely reduce the aggressiveness already.

CJ7 i watched in xianxi house. Ah well, it's an ok show, but not worth the price to watch in cinema.

Ah loong pte ltd i havn't watch, some say it sucks, some say not bad, but the most common comment is the show is just for laugh. You want to laugh, go watch it.

Death note.. gonna watch it soon! Hope it's nice =D

Sweeney Todd supposed to watch with wenda, but she watched online already =\ Ah well.. i want to watch P.S. I love You.

^_^ In a good mood now~ Wish everybody prosperous and lead a happy life this year ^^

--jiaqian-->

Bitch

2008-02-05T13:27:00.000+08:00

She's such a bitch. Monthly allowance of 1k and she is supposed to cook, buy neccessities, and take care of the house. Me, having no income and no allowance now, had to go out buy food for her! OMFG she sucks.
Nah, your drama tricks don't work anymore.
She shouted: You got go out?
Me: No
She: Can help me go out buy lunch? Oh help san jiu ma buy also
*who the fuck are they?*
*That wat san jiu ma, ok.. she got paid to clean the house. Know what she did? Ok, my guitars always place them violently, spoilt my guitar miniature last time. Spoilt the shower stand and put it back like it's not her doing. Place my things around and never put it back. Put newspaper that she needs to wipe window on my bed. She can go fuck spider man.*

Alright, so i continue doing my things, and after that went to shit. What? She came up to my room and ask me: "You want to go buy lunch or not one?" Wah, i owe her is it? Never gimme money to buy also. Buy food for my sisters of coz i don't mind, buy for them two? SUCKS!

Oh well.. that 2 days ago thing.
Today, i went to fill water, she can even go take her hp in the kitchen, then walk out of the door, takes her bicycle and go out loh! Of cause is buy lunch man, what else can it be. She didn't even ask me i want to eat anything? And i always asked her! Bitch!! Im sick and i need to eat and have my medicine. So filled with anger, i walked to the coffee shop, first thing find where she sitting. OK I saw her, eating happily away. Went to queue to buy food and when i da bao finish, purposely walked pass her. Know what she did? Hide and bend her head so low hoping i never see her? LMAO man. And i walked past her i gave her a dirty look, i saw her secretly turn her head over and look at me. Haa! She can go to the road and let car bang. Ok, i cant say nobody, her daughter and her relatives maybe will be sad, but not us. Total bitch.

Bahz..

2008-01-29T10:28:00.000+08:00

'You and him can go fuck each other.'
Thanks for that. I know you are tired and busy, that's why i want to help u help him clear the instance together. 1 more person will clear faster, its not a matter of don't wait or not, it is about time and energy. If you are still mad about such a small thing, so be it.

Stiff hands. Tell who? People will always have others to depend on. To tell them their problems. Me? Tell you? Tell him? Tell them? Shit all these relationships. Nothing is there, nothing is trustworthy, nothing is everything.

So what if my knees are painful? So what if my ankle are feeling funny? So what if my hands are numb? Nothing. Im just forever a person who is always hyper active and wun fall. Im forever a C++ battery. I forever wun die.
Forget about it, i grow up with nothing to depend on. Every blame lies on me.
Learn to be emotionless.
Learn to hide feelings.
Learn to endure pain.
Learn to forgive.
Learn to love.
Learn everything i don't have and what should have.
Learn anything and still im dumb, i know NOTHING.
Fuck this world.
I don't need this world, and this world don't need me.
Every existence is a nuisence.

I like this sentence. Maybe you have lost faith in human!

Never trust people fully

2008-01-29T00:04:00.000+08:00

sian.. v sian..
I already know it long ago, and i still gonna bitch about it. So sian in this family, what i say machiam never said, might as well don't say. That's why i hate talking to all of them.

It is as if im a slave like that, whatever hard task, definetely goes to me. Yes i know im the only guy now, and my father is very tired doing all the cleaning etc. But i also offer help when i see him doing something or whatsoever. Why must he say something like him ar? next yr i ask earlier. Although he say in a half joking manner, but it is very irritating. My sisters will just ask me help all the stuffs like it is very natural. What requests from all my family to them is first priority. What im doing is definetely not important. F U C K. I just hate it. What's wrong with humans?

Looking into the mirror, and i can imagine all the things on my shoulders. I always hoped there are more of me so that i can accomplish more tasks, but think of it i also really hoped i never exist in this stupid world. Ugly world to begin with, fake faces everywhere, everything is just a mask. So who can i trust? Not my family, and neither can they trust me.

No, don't worry about me and ask whether im ok or not. Im fine, im just complaining and complaining, since i cant say it out, it will be better for me to write it.

--jiaqian->

Cooked meal!

2008-01-24T10:19:00.000+08:00

21st Jan - Monday

Dear cooked for me! Although she insists its very awful, but to me it is still very nice and very sweet! Thanks alot~~
After that we went to guitar class, and i met dennis when i reach school. He gave me a monkey keychain he got from hong kong! Woot~~ thanks dennis! =D =D

23rd Jan - Wednesday
Sorry dear yest abit bit angry with you because you just run off like that. Went her old hostel and took some things back and had chicken mutabak~ not bad =D

Singaporeans!

2008-01-13T00:42:00.000+08:00

I mean, what's wrong with Singaporeans!
Im so unfortuante that im categorized as a singaporean as well.

Why will a person knock down a stack of shoes, and my immediate reaction is to bend down and help them. Their response was delayed by 5secs and reacted by: Oh, it dropped. What matters is that auntie walked away.
I mean, what's WRONG with cleaning own backside? Retarded singaporean.

What's wrong with whoever knocked off the tray of snacks?
I am near, so i immediately bend down and picked it up although ITS NOT MY FAULT. Thanks soonjin for help me as well. But, cyclops all over.

What's wrong with allowing alighting passengers to alight before boarding the train?
Sorry but don't block my way, if i banged you on purpose, you deserve it.

Well, basically singaporeans sux.
Most people will also only pick on the weak, no guts.
Well, don't pick me, u will be surprised.

**********************************************************************************

Enough of complaining =p
Well, 1 month together with wenda.

*fireworks* *fireworks* *fireworks*
\ | / \ | / \ | /
- - - - - -
/ | \ / | \ / | \

\ | / \ | /
- - - -
/ | \ / | \

Wishing you will be happy with me =D

--jiaqian-->

The fatal reason of broken family

2008-01-07T23:41:00.000+08:00

What leads to a broken family?
There are many reasons. It can be fortune, beliefs, property, egoism, relationships and many.

Well, another problem arised. It is a relationship problem caused by attitudes. After afew months, my stepsister finally moved her things out, but not exactly everything. So that will leave us with an empty room.

My 3rd sister(B), always quarrelled with my 2nd sister(A). So B had been waiting for the time my stepsister move out so that A can move over to the other room. Reason mainly because of A selfishness that when her boyfriend come, she wants B to get out of the room, or shout for B to get out of the room when she wants to sleep, whereas she can talk loudly in the room when B wants to sleep. Whatever! The main reason is they always quarrel whenever they see each other.

Regardless of friendships, kinship, partnership or love, what i believe in is giving and taking. It also involves giving way, as well as appreciation. As far as i see, A is lacking of that, so in terms of thinking, she is rather immatured.

Alright, get back to the topic. Initially, they agreed that A moves to the smaller room, which i feel is reasonable because she doesn't has much things. But her ex-boyfriend came over and said the room is small. A immediately called B that she wants to take the bigger room, which is quite unreasonable. Just for the reason that she wants to sleep with her ex-bf? She doesn't even think of the reason that B has alot of things.

Now A wants the tv cable up to her room and she wants it to be wired out of the wall. My father says no, do it his way which will be making holes in my room, and through my cupboard to the back and go up to the room. Reason being the house will worth more money in future. This will lead to some mess in my room and im ok with it, thus never say anything.
Then, my father start complaining that my comics put on the cupboard very wasteful of space and etc, and i juz tell him its my room i noe how to organise it. It will not be messy as well. Then A behind asked me to shut up and just listen to my father! Later on she still keep nagging me saying i must not keep talk back and etc, which i didn't. I only convinced my father that i will organise my own room and there's no need to worry. So im quite annoyed and tell her, "You mean you?" She went harewire again and throw her phone on the floor, which i think is quite stupid! Venting anger on gadgets that will make her spend more money? Pure ignorance! Pretty sad to say, but low self control of emotion as well.

In her way of proposing a solution to my father, B keep telling my father nevermind, she take small room and keep ask me to move her things to her room the next day. My father turned annoyed and ask her not to say anymore, very annoying and all don't know how to think. I also replied B that no, the thing is not settled yet don't move anything first. B also wants to paint her room but A also keep scolding.

This is the reason i hate talking to my sisters too. Whatever i say, they will keep nagging and im always never right. For example, i want to study full time, they will nag and keep complaining cannot, must work etc. If i have the money myself, i will never want to ask my father to pay for it and consulting their opinion. I want to buy something which is using my own money, why must they keep nagging too? I mean what's wrong with them? My life need them to organise and control? Nahz, they are not up to my standard. Oh one example is i want to buy a new computer. Why must they interfere when they don't know a thing about me, or what i studying, or what i need?

Well, all these had trained me to become a calmer and someone who can control his emotions. In fact it issn't that way, it is just hiding all my emotions from others. If you are worrying about me right now, well, i can tell you that im fine and all the broken paths i had had trained me to look at the world lightly, and be cold blooded, or emotionless. So i had always liked the idea of a mask.

All these doesn't really trouble me much, but my sister is driving my father crazy. I feel really sorry and sad for him. His journey is so much tougher, and he endured it, not only survived through it, but had became successful as well. But all these doesn't have good returns but more troubles for him. So, what can i do to help him? What is it that will make him happier? Don't feel sad for me, i have no financial problems and im already happier than 90% of the world!

This leads me thinking whether a broken family is better or a good family is better? A trained person who had went through difficult situations vs someone who has always been good life but went berserk when something happens.

I think i just love the word 'broken'.

--jiaqian-->

2008-01-01T15:49:00.000+08:00

Well, first of all, merry christmas and Happy New Year to all!
2007 had ended and let's welcome 2008~~
Wish all the wishes and my frns have will come true!
My 2008 wishes:
1) Get good results for my studies ( final year )
2) Attend classical guitar lessons back and hope i can teach in future!
3) Be proficient in playing guitar
4) Save more money
5) Work out on my portfolio
6) Be skillful in basketball and get injured less
7) My friends and family be healthy and lucky
8) Im healthy and lucky as well.. and happy!

Well ok... i havn't been blogging because i've been very very very busy.
December seems like a holiday to me, because almost everyday there's some event going on, and that means my pocket is having a big hole! And actually i cant remember which days i went out with who. But basically im glad that i met up with some of my friends. mm.... Unit friends - Yeowsin, dennis, heng qi, sebastian, zhan hong in celebrating my birthday and dennis birthday. BMT friends - Zhen cong, Yow Cheng, Wee Hiong, went ktv and dinner~ long time since i saw them and sang. SP friends - Lok, cer, yelian, sj, derek for christmas dinner, as well as apple,junyao, kok lin, xueling, kevin for christmas eve bbq. Sec sch frns - Hong Leong, JunSheng, Eugene, jz gf Shujuan for celebrating eugene's birthday at bugis steamboat, as well as outing at suan thai buffet at sommerset. Not forgetting celebrating my father's birthday at home. Although its a short one, but definetely a sweet one! and having dinner wif my 2 sisters! Not forgetting wenda who accompanied me through many events and spent lotsa money sooo soz! Thanks!

--jiaqian-->

ahh.. finally..

2007-12-14T13:59:00.001+08:00

14th December
Thursday - Cloudy ( still as cold )
Finally its over.. its my exams!
System Administration and Computer Graphics - checked!
1 semester just ended like this, quite fast huh.. it seems like life after 20s is going very fast. Anyway, i believe im able to pass the papers, but i doubt i can get a distinction lah.... It is just too hard, but hey, i did really put in alot of effort, and i really studied and did the assignments with full effort! At least that will not leave me with regret again..

Let's look back in reverse chronological order(am i using the right word?).. Nvm~~ System admin paper yesterday was abt the same as past yr paper! When i took the first look i have 3 immediate reactions. 1st - omg! wtf y its like the past yr paper? 2nd - Luckily i 1st part i know how to do. 3rd - Shit!! i cant do 2nd and 3rd part.. Ah well, tried my best. Regret for not finding out all the answers for past yr paper, or else it will be guaranteed a distinction.

Well, came out at 12 noon, wait for ppl come out and met with wenda, and off derek, wenda and me to town, for lunch movie, shop~ Well it was a fun day! School life is really very good. We watched Alvin and the chipmunks! Real funny show! (strongly recommended) Mm, walked arnd etc, they both bought things except me -_-... Oh yea, wenda treated me crystal jade~~ keke thx =D After dinner and didi dada, and we went back home~

This is an important day~~ or date to rem!

Wednesday
Ahh, i thought i will be able to study for exam, but well, things always work the reverse for me. Been very busy with work from morning til i off work, nearly worked OT as well. There im thinking, y must this thing be so rush, cant it come in after i finish my exam? Anyway, due to lack of concentration and worried bout exam i din do a good job, in fact im so disappointed with myself. Worked so long and keep cant do a good job =( sad sad~
So after work i have to rush back home and study system admin paper for afew hrs only.. sigh..

Tuesday
Its computer graphics day, ah well, im able to do most of the things, so im not that worried, but i have some careless mistake. My old mistake of never look at questions and answers properly still have not changed.. -_-.. Ah well, studied in sch after the paper until late in the night, cant really concentrate alot though.. haha.. Oh yea, thanks wenda for the chocolate + cornflakes! Its really very nice, yummy~

Ahh... days before this where i wnet, i think mostly is studying, studying at derek's void deck with derek, soon jin, kevin, wenda, and studied at library as well =D

Ahh.. 7th December
Friday ( my birthday, as well as koon teck)
Well, i din really planned to celebrate or whatever on this day. But well, i still did. Treated derek, wenda and vincent fish and co. Thanks vincent for the cd, and thanks wenda for the cake! Ahh.. a day to say thanks.. Thanks yip for calling me the previous day and asked me whether im free to go jp not..
Oh well, i wanna thanks everybody who wished me happy birthday, thanks for remembering.. because i really din expect it! Let me see can recall all not =\
Regardless of what media n sequence, thanks...
Dehua ,yelian, apple, ruoyi, huijuan, yiping, calvin, soonjin, kevin, alvin, ceresah
jiexi, xiaoEn
wenda, benjamin
zhen cong, jason, zhanhong, hengqi, dennis, yeowsin
yuki, hong jie, kelvin chia, kelvin lee, chun, kelly, zech, ah ken, sangonewbie, jian lin
kevin, jiamei
xx, pailoong, mingrui, zhiyong, cheeseng, hongleong, jianzhang, leeping, kaho, koon teck
emay, olivia, twinkle, jingli, candy, kimberly, jack
well.. sorry if i missed you out.. but really thanks thanks u guys and gals =D

-jiaqian-->

2007-12-07T01:09:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to myself...

well well.... Wish myself have a great yr ahead! lol~~

--jiaqian-->

2007-11-23T15:14:00.000+08:00

Ahh... being emo again.
Cursed life.
And yes, i can make ppl day.
But i can spoil ur day as well.
Just this 2 type, v extreme.

Sianz.. Maybe sometimes i just keep too much things to myself, nobody to tell to anyway.. don't know how to say too..

muz.. stayyyyy strong / . \

2007-11-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

Blog bout my tis week ba..
Last friday, 16th November
Guitar club chalet
Father went to indonesia for some wedding dinner + vacation on thursday
Well, actually i planned to go to the chalet after work on friday, but my elder sister insisted that i go home and take car and go to chalet. She will only be back home at 7.30pm the earliest, and i could had already reached there. So i changed meeting derek at clementi to go my house i send him over. What's more frustrating, she came home and tell me, i need to use car tml noon. Its a v v BIG WTF? You want to use car tml noon and y don't you just use it, and i don't really want to drive to pasir ris chalet anyway. Fucked up! Traffic was damn bad on a friday, and pasir ris chalet road was super jammed as well because it is a damn friday and school holidays. She's cant be better at spoiling my mood.

But alright, the chalet was v fun. Anyway who was there, chang lin and amy erm... n ernest were going back home when i reached... at 9pm -_- and still there were.. boon seng, ???, eugene, zhi xuan, chew hui from beginner class, and wenda, hui shan, clare, benjamin ehh.... tt's it from advance class? cant rem, and president jonathan.
Well... so EAT lor, v hungry.. thanks for bbq-ing and gave us eat! Appreciate it alot.. Well... although not v well cooked lol, but still thanks! Ahh most memorable was the sweet potato aka charcoal? I even bited it and its still black and hard -_-..
Well, after eating go back chalet play games loh.. Heart attack -_-.. Mm, plenty left later on in the night, and left with eugene, wenda, hui shan, ben, jon and me. anyway the bed is abt to crumble -_-.. and yes, i stepped on it the next morning and it actually.. ^^ Then later on play daidee lah, play jon guitar lah... talk cock lah.... slept at 4am...

Mm, that wenda wanna watch sunrise because she never watch it before (super sua ku) -_-.. and well, so we got up at 6..+ abit? and she wassn't slping, keep walking arnd n close curtains lah, sit on bed, etc.. and think everybody is aslp -_- Well, so we tried to find a shortcut out of chalet to the beach and........ later on still exit by main gate and go to beach, but it is too cloudy, and sun rise quite alot liao.. blocked by trees anyway, so still din managed to see it.

After that went to eat Macdonalds breakfast. Then go back chalet packed up and leave chalet.. Ahh well, i was half or more dead. Sent hui shan back amk, wenda to bt panjang, eugene to jurong west extension.. Totally don't know where i were going and what conversation was going on in the car.. Ermz.. nvm.. Ah oh yea, sorry bout the hard break at the traffic light.. unexpected of 2 traffic lights within 20m -_-..

So, went home and slp, wake up went cck play abit of sanguokushi taisen..

....
.....
......
.....
....

Monday had guitar class.. and im going to miss the next 2 wks of guitar class.

Mm, Wednesday, 21st November..
Ehh.... went out again.. Met at marina square and ate at Yuki Yaki.. Who was present.. Zhi Wei, Boon seng, Eugene, chew hui, zhi xuan, wenda, huishan, derek, jon, ben, charles and me. Ahh.. anyway still splited.. and my table was tom yam soup.. anyway the soup wassn't really spicy but sour.. But its still nice, and the ice cream making is very special and cool.. Anyway lazy to type out all the details, v lazy.

2007-11-13T16:14:00.001+08:00

ok~~ as requested by lok =D

Nov 13..
Well.... just recovered from fever and sore throat and headache.. Had these sickness since 9th Nov (friday).. Still went to airport and eat the popeye chickens~ lol...
Oh yeah, why am i there.. Well, my boss(philip) went to china(sheng zhen) for 5 days, and he lend me his car. So basically im on the road on a Toyota Wish for the period, and im parking his car at airport and take mrt home~ Luckily derek accompanied me to here after our guitar class~

Well, why am i getting sick so frequently? Perhaps because of weather, perhaps because of over-tiring myself. Ahem~ im quite busy these few wks/months.. Well maybe i chose to kept myself busy as well. My life became work and study majorly. I have little time to eat, to play, and to sleep. Ah, and of course, due to me not taking of myself properly. Sighz..

Thanks to all for all the concerns to me! Appreciate it alot! =)
School had been very busy, luckily work issn't, and i can study when i have nothing to do at work.

Hmm, ok, after all the hardships, i finally understand System administration abit more, with the help of my sch mates, not forgetting dennis and yeowsin~ my savior~! *kiss!~~ Mmm.. half the term is gone, and half of the schload as well..
System administration - Assignment 1, Lab 1-3, Homework.
Computer graphics - Lab 1 - 3
All are tough work which requires alot of studying, researching and planning on how to do... University is hard!
Alright alright alright asshhaaaa!!!! More deadlines to meet! xD
Well, at least now im coping well.

Father going Indonesia this thursday as well.
I also want to go overseas relax abit. I miss taiwan!

Pros of me - SPEED is everything.
Cons of me - Never read questions properly, impatient, slow in terms of people's meanings(sighz)..

I realise alot of things v weird.. I can be good at certain things, but i can be lousier than other people who knows lesser. Weird, im..

***tales or truth sectioN~~***
I have some extraordinary powers!
Yesterday i demonstrated some errr.. unbelieveable reaction + speed -_- a person walks towards me and knocked off a bag of chips of the shelf, and i manage to notice it and catch it before it falls on the floor... i put the chips back just when he turned around...
mm.. last time a small gal knocked off a dunno what off the shelf as well, and i slow-motioned and caught the thing easily infront of the gal, her mother, and my friends -_-..
Yay! i got the ability to slow down time xP

--jiaqian-->

2007-10-24T16:53:00.000+08:00

Nothing to blog recently~
sequentiatic life.. work, study, play..
I think myself as siao, ppl wonders how i stay awake, how i concentrate, how i manage to do that.. Everyday can slp at anywhere...lol~

System Administration is so hard to do.. assignment, homework.. etc.. argh... mood low, low motivation~~ Computer graphics i dun even know what is it -_- i dun wanna spend so much on here and waste $$~~ HELP~~

Sighz.. heartache or confused mind.
Dreams may reveal what you want, but it does also reminds you of your regrets..
Neway, im fine~

2007-10-15T09:41:00.001+08:00

mm~~ been bz everyday~
School had started for 2wks, and this is the 3rd week..
My first module is system administration... involving networking and etc.
Defintely not easy when i know nothing about it at all!
Well, luckily i has some friends who study networking and etc, so still can consult them~~

Well, this week, new module, computer graphics! But its not about drawing, but alot of mathematics calculation!? Woah omg, will i die in first semester? And i still keep on playing and dun put in extra lots lots effort to study.. damn me! Must change~~

Assignments and homeworks and laboratory works need to be handled in soon and i havn't got any clue to do it. Deep shit~~ But i also wish to gain the 霸者 rank in sangokushi-taisen >_< Ahhh, waste $ + waste time.. =(

Ohoh~ and i maybe wanna join guitar club in sim~ lolz.. machiam i have alot of time.. but i wanna make it a habit of playing guitar like afew times each wk.. Time will never be enough.. =(

Well, nuff said~ at work now~ lol

-jiaqian-->

2007-09-27T14:35:00.000+08:00

learning java~ for me and others..
http://java.sun.com/docs/books/tutorial/java/index.html
http://home.cogeco.ca/~ve3ll/jatutor0.htm

v good 3d character building tutorial~
http://www.3dtotal.com/ffa/tutorials/max/joanofarc/joanmenu.asp
http://www.geocities.com/doord/Tut_1.htm

^_^

2007-09-24T14:46:00.001+08:00

You scored as Psychology, You should be a Psychology major!

Psychology

100%

Theater

92%

Philosophy

83%

Dance

83%

Journalism

83%

Anthropology

75%

Biology

75%

Mathematics

75%

Sociology

75%

Engineering

67%

Art

67%

Linguistics

58%

English

58%

Chemistry

25%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

wah... wtf.. @_@~

Life sux..

2007-09-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

sighz.. im not happy =(

What had my family done to suffer this? What did i did to have this life?
Why i have such an evil stepmother?
After hearing again what my sisters say etc etc about stepmother.
These are not 1 sided, but facts in MY life.
Why does my father need to work so hard and have such bad life?

Some elaboration.. Why does people think their home is the safest while my father cant keep money inside the house? Because SOME PPL WILL STEAL IT. My father had to act like he doesn't know anything, or else some1 will quarrel and deny and make a fuss out of everything.
Why does people think that their home is sweet but i doesn't? What's the point of returning to a empty house every night? What's the point of hearing my sister say my father is alone at home and i rushed back and found out there's nobody at home until v late in the night?
Why does people mother got little money from her husband and can cook good meals everyday, while the person at my house seldom cook. Even if she cook, also open canned food, BUY FATS home and ask my father to eat even though she get a large sum of $ every mth? Yes maybe even more than people out there working! Why can she keep 3 pieces of the Gu lu yok for 3 days and ask my father to eat? How can some garbage been keeped and lots of ants crawled over it and she can keep inside the fridge and take out again to ask us eat again the next day?
Why must she complain say people treat their wife so gd? Does she ever wondered what she ever contributed.. What she can do, cook only when her precious daughter come back, that's when there's fish. Oh her daughter 1 fish, we others 1 fish.. She can take my father's bird nest and cook secretly and go put in her daughter's room fridge. She can wait at the door way for her daughter, quickly open the door because she heard footsteps coming up. But gave a extremely disappointed look/despise look when its my sisters or me. And acted like she opened the door to search for something, then go back her room.
My sister say she long ago know she is a professional in acting, ask her go TCS CFM TIO AWARD. Which.. is true.
My poor father T_T..

So when you complain about your family, look at my.

Why does my sisters keep insisting on me to pay for the $ when we go out eat today, saying you are earning $ now! I don't mind and wanted to pay but my father say he pay instead.. -__-.. and its... when i dun even have 1/10 of their $. Wow, im the poorest in the family. And yes, stop saying i rich or whatever shit. Im sick of this lie. My family is not rich at start, not in future, and im never rich for as long as i had lived. I have the responsibilty to take care of my father in future~ to take care of alot of ppl~ so i must never be poor! *roar~* Now i know why my father keep asking me whether camery is nice, it's his way trying to deceive himself that if he change to a toyota car, it is fine. But actually no, its not fine at all, he will need to face all those qns, ppl's big mouth such as y u suddenly change car infront of him, while at his back ppl will start saying he no $ already, cannot afford a mercs already etc. In other words, face is impt. What can i say? Ask him don't care his face change to a economical car? no.. Ask NVM LAH, just spend money continue feed a mercs? No.. Alot of times, silence means better than anything.
And, i does not stand a space in talking infront of my sisters, what they say cannot be revoked. What i think is not right, according to my character, people don't let me do something or insist me on doing something, i WILL PROVE THEM WRONG BY ANY METHOD. I will insist my way just to insist that they are not always right. Sighz.. life sux..

How my sisters say their past childhood etc.. Yes, we doesn't have gd education since we are young, that's what made us so bad-mannered etc, but they are far worst than me. At least i think alot now, they too, but for themselves i believe.. For we own family too also lah.. I know they treat me nice and etc..
Sighz, think from young i had this habit, i don't like qian ppl ren qing.. Til now, it had never changed. But im easy-going, things i can take it easy or doesn't matter, to me life issn't about minding over a small thing.

Why does my sisters have bad life as well? Why must they dream on going to people's funeral, why must my sister keep dreaming about drowning in sea, get dunk in water and keep dreaming about it? Sigh, this world is really crazy. Yes, these days had been raining, earth is dying, when did u see the climate all around the world so confused?

What's more bored~~ im lonely =(
Nobody to accomapany~
Nobody to talk to when i have problems~
Not frns, frns will really leave you when you have real problems.
Not family, they have enough of their problems.
Not partner because i don't have 1~ even if i got also wun say, scare ppl away~
Moreover, i don't speak of my problems. I only speak generally =(
Alone in this busy path, no1 else will take notice.

Life getting meaning, will only die with one regret now.. =(

Just suddenly feel so low, so blogged.. People who are reading, don't mind me blabbering~ ^^

2007-08-11T10:19:00.000+08:00

been busy these dayS~~~
1st of all... wishing all Happy National Day 1st~ although its over already.. but nvm~ i spend my happy national day at home alone~ eating kfc and watching the ndp.. made me feel that if its live... it would be so high and great man~ at home watch alone i fell aslp 3x... =\ Hmmz~ sianz~

yesterday went to sim to complete the registration AGAIN! wth~ they lost my transcript etc.. at there~ wah so many ppl... made me feel that school life is so great once again~ alright not once again, i always think that sch life is great when i finish poly.. then went to pasir ris to help hl book chalet... i have 50% off voucher to book chalet~ ^^ but need me go down personally to book as well.. cannot book online. after that went back cck arcade.. play talk see awhile~ then go home.. no car to use or else have lan le hah~

Oh yea~~ that time 2wks ago sick for 1wk+... omg man~ horrigible! sore throat for so damn long.. then fever finish come again and gone and come back again and again. Fucked! thought i kena dengue or what.... cause muscle ache also~
and omg~~ one v disgusting thing.... never forget man.. dunno which day, i bath finish then take my towel wipe face... and i feel how come so pricky! and i take a closer look.. CB COCKROACH lah! throw the towel on the floor and wash my face like im go peel my skin off! er xin lah!! >< hell!
change towel, den nowadays everytime i use my towel i will check everytime! kns~~ then afew days after, when i gonna use my towel.. omg another cockroach on it again! wth how come like tt?!?! what's attracting them??
the cockroach control in my room is getting bad man... dunno y suddenly so many cockroaches... afew days ago 1 more cockroach appear near me when i gonna play game.. yesterday another cockroach appear in my toilet again... tmd??? but these cockroach reaction and movement is really damn slow and weak.. fuck fuck!! y like that... zzz.. worst sickness of my life man..

2007-07-22T21:53:00.000+08:00

mm.... Friday 20th July
Go work work work~~ then 3pm went down to gift exhibition at suntec there.
1st time go gift and design exhibition! Haha.. Went there walk walk~ v gd! Can see alot of different designs, different things, and see people~ But.. no chiobus leh~ hahaha~
After that.. philip treat us the japanese buffet... Boshino! Suntec there~ omg so exp lor........... more den $30 per pax... *shocked*!
But sigh... my appetite already.. im old.. Eat abit cannot eat anymore. Where's the past me who can eat large amount of food and won't get full.. Perhaps partly is because im not as active as before.. Haiz.. im not like me le..
Hmm.. after that... very dulan~~ i thought i meet my frns at marina square.. but wait 1hr le den reconfirm.. OMG its marina south!
Sad lor.. nevermind.. i play afew rounds of sanguo at marina south loh... Damn sad, lost all 3 rounds... Sigh!!
Took cab down to marina south because i thought they should be around there already..
But, fucked? Jianghu say 10+ den will reach, hong jie 10+ den will reach, fishie 10+ den will reach, hl say on the way but later 9+ ask him where him again he say js drag his time 10+ den will reach also! WTF! I waited for a fucking 4hrs! Damn sianz..
Later they all reached 1 by 1.. ok.. That hl power, played afew rounds only, sj and others came and he say go out talk talk awhile, talk until disappeared! TMD, wun say also.. msg also dun1 reply. Dulan.. more dulan, we wait for others to play til our turn wait til like i think 2am+ got.. zzz! Play play, til 5am+, den fishie send us home~ yay..

Saturuday 21st July
Sleep til dunno wat time, sister wake me up ask me go drive her car back later, and she drive customer car back to their place.. zzz... tired... Then she say later and go buy food 1st... Came back wake me again ask me go eat and prepare..
Wah, no appetite again, economic bee hoon i also cannot finish... I think i starving to death soon.. Then.. my turn to wake her up -_-...
Raining raining... go father's workshop, den drive her car back... Use computer and read mag awhile, fell aslp~~ Then wake up when js msg me.. Oh... gonna time for movie already!! Prepared awhile den set off~~ Watched Invisible Target ( Nan Ren Ben Se). woot... not bad, quite nice haha.. Then go eat long john and arcade awhile.. jiu go home le~ haha..

Sunday 22nd July
Ben Lai there's bball in the morning, but cancelled due to the lack of participants. haha... sianz... then cont slp until 12+.. wake up online.. stunned.. xx ask me play dota, cs called to ask play mahjong, yanfei/ziyang msn ask me want sing k not... -_-.. dota got leaver so v fast end, and no time for 2nd rnd~ and promised to play mahjong already, so.. bo bian lor~~ i wanted to sing k de~~ haha.. play mahjong lose $27 juz now also~~ @$@%^ Ben lai ~$50.. luckily last rnd 5 tai full den win back ~$20.. haha... tmd.... Hongleong damn heng!~
Then eat KFC... the person who wins all treat! kakaka~
Returned home~ sianz~ tml monday again.. work work...

2007-07-16T21:19:00.000+08:00

Last thursday
12/07/2007
Oh its mingrui birthday~ happy birthday to u, happy birthday to u, happy birthday to u~woo~, happy birthday to u~ ok just sang u a birthday song if u see this.
At night went to have mibn outing. Ervin leaving singapore to australia study on coming saturday. We had the seafood zi cha style at queensway market there... opposite of queensway shopping centre~ So long nv see some of them.. everybody looks fine as they are~~ keke~

hmm~ then last friday went to hui jing and yanye birthday chalet at downtown east pasir ris resort.. the inside 1~
Friday went cck arcade with hongleong 1st. Then eat with the usual peeps etc, play play, den aiya no bus go back le = =.. then take mrt to jurong point, change 243 go back~ at interchange saw a uncle waiting for a bus which heads towards my place, but no more shift liao, so tell him no more bus le~~
Ermz, reach home, bath, laze arnd, then take cab to pasir ris chalet.. $34! hao exp wor~ Then reach there hui jing and her frns playing dunno wat.. we too tired so just slp on a matress.. haha~

Saturday morning wakes up talk talk with some of her frns and bf.. consists of... ying feng, jacob?, darren, aiya den forgot le. haha~ Hong leong and me went to eat lunch, den realise downtown east arcade don't have sanguo le! omg, its the 1 tt shifted to amk hub... then we went century square play~ afternoon come back later on more ppl poured in.. yanye, waijie, huibing, yanfei, her bf alex, ziyang, later on yanfei cousin jimmy, any more.. mm... nvm~ then watch tv, talk talk, play mahjong, den later on after i finish my mj game, i go bbq food~ but everybody already full and dun1 eat liao~ haha... LOL what i can say tt night is~~ ppl drunk alot of stunts will come out~~ damn funny hahaha~~ Waijie, hong leong and me went cycling later on. Wah~~ shiok~ but ride til im so tired >< Lved up! new skills acquired! cycling and stand up! muahaha.... dun try it, its dangerous.. haha~ But its fun!

mm~ late in the night slp cannot slp, den some slp upstairs, some talking cock outside.. mm~~ tired man haha~ later on early in the morning den all cannot tahan also come back inside rest and slp awhile..haha~ slp awhile = morning liao~ wait the gals bath... omg its so long lah! 1 gal can bath fastest 30mins.... !#$& lol... don't know what they doing inside also = =.. *i masturbating inside - by yanye* on satuday night LOL! stunt every1~ haha... but champ goes to huijing~~ lol..
later on play game and drink, wah laN~ i keep losing, till... i drunk myself! argh hate it! so many kinds of different things mix together and keep drinking... puke!
drink til i dunno wat is wat... ahh~ i noe i cannot make it when the world starts to spinnnn..... later on go upstairs slp liao~ pizza which they ordered come i also eat 2 mouth cannot eat liao~ haha... damn hungry...... whole day nv eat anything drink so much... den drink til cannot eat.. damn sad :'(
At night they went to ktv pub, i also joined~ lol.. though im a big merlion =\ but im okok le haha~ at least i noe when im going to puke, and will ren til toilet bowl or basin den puke >< mm~~ actually got some small details which ahem~~ but, don't say better~

So yesterday night i msg my boss to take off~~ and i wake up tis afternoon.. haha~ no need to work is both sian and relax... arh~~ humans are weird! Okie, tml gonna start working! gogo~

--jiaqian-->

2007-07-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

sighz.. I lead a tough life. My journey issn't smooth.
Its good to face alot of problems in your life so you will learn.
But, im tired of it. Plenty of people having lucky life. Why issn't it me? My future life will be torturing i know it, but i cant even have good life now. Sighz..

Work is boring, need to rush so many things, need to produce high quality things.
Why does people wants something and i get it done, people says it's not nice and want to change it again, and so many times til it is back to square 1..

Saying so many times, its gonna be the same issn't it? But things do get worse. Friends get further apart.

Im lonely :(
Which hurts more? Stabbed in the heart, or heart is dripping blood

*weep in heart*
--jiaqian-->

work work

2007-06-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

Its the third week of my job. Its only 3rd week, and in fact i only started doing the design stuffs last week. But... It had been so busy. So many things to settle, so many things to do, so many misc things... Ahh.. frustrated! hahah.. jk! But im really quite tired. Had to bring home some work on last friday to do, did over the weekends and had only 1 off day given sobz! Last min proj..

Ahh, starting gime me 2 projs, den 3rd proj come in. Just finished it, today the boss send to client. And he gave me another proj. Woah woah.... never ending sia haha.. And im doing another freelance job. Diao.. is my life just about work and work? I don't want it to be that way man! I want to catch up with friends, go play basketball, play guitar, play lan, watch movies, sing ktv, go eat! Lol... I did actually, but seldom le. Sigh.. im feeling lonely as days past. Father went China, 1 sister don't come home, 1 sister keep quarrel nia dunno for wat shit... Sometimes ok, sometimes so agitated. Sigh.. lonely, sad, boring, tired, sianz.. Can only keep find frns come out company. Sigh sigh... Working is boring..

--jiaqian-->

2nd day of work

2007-05-29T22:05:00.000+08:00

2 words to describe today.. Damn tired.
It was like im doing warehouse or what.. Tired..
So many things to shift, the poor move house people are very poor thing too.

Oh well, i havn't seemed to introduce the company people.
All these are just based on my instinct and feeling etc.. Its quite true anyway.
1stly, my boss from Xogi, Phillips. He is a very nice person. Willing to share and give his people benefits. Very intelligence and have great ambitions too, in my opinion. Worked in Macdonalds for 10yrs, half way doing business as well. Tough work with motivation and passion, ambition builds great people. I think he quite likes me and trust me. o_O..
Following on is all Mygif company ppl.
2ndly, the boss of Mygif, Fennie. Hmmz, i don't know, but she gives me a feeling that she has high demands, strict. Although she's always laughing and like joking mood, but somehow i think she's always thinking something. Not bad for the company, but don't know, i think she will despise ppl, and will expect alot from me.
3rdly, the famous auntie in the company. She's the most crappy auntie i ever met. Damn funny and nice person. Always mouth fight with another malay uncle. Vegetarian.
4thly, the maylay uncle, ah moon uncle @@... funny name huh... He's also very funny and relax one.. Great person!
5thly, Serene. She takes the malay uncle van every morning to work. Hmm, the first day i have the feeling she doesn't likes me alot. But today, i think she alright and quite nice too.
6thly, Wendy. Ermz, she's quite blur and abit naggy. But she means good. Overall also alright.
7thly, Farmie. The only guy same age as me, smaller den me abit. Will chu stunt, quite lazy also actually. But he's part time studying in psb too. He has greater ambition and is trying to learn from the people as well. Complained to me bout he doesn't likes Wendy due to her voice and naggyness.. Haha.. Still abit inmatured to me.

Tough time builds greater bond. Hard work sees through colours. From the shifting of company, i can see the true colours of people.
1 more. Money can also show a person character.
Life's hard. Realising people ugliness can be awful too.
But i believe in treating people well. From the way they react you can realise their character too.

Oh yea, thanks my father for sending me to work again today. Though i didn't say to him, but i really enjoy his company. He spends time with me, im happy! =)
My boss treated us again. Yesterday night went bukit batok there eat, this afternoon treat me and farmie lunch, although i top up abit $ for the drinks, its fine. The auntie only eat bread and 100+ for lunch which i bought for her.. Can only eat vege food bo bian, though $ also not enough, but still fine haha.. Abit $ only. = =~ And boss treated us to dinner at bt timah again today! Oh yea.. Milo King kong is great.. Haha.. its milo dinosaur + 2 scoops of ice cream.

Tomorrow needs to continue with the unpacking and moving and setting up.. Tired..!

--JiaQian

im working!

2007-05-28T20:25:00.000+08:00

25 May Friday
I found a job! I signed the letter of recruitment or something like that on Friday, and the boss explained to me those things etc..
He treated me to surf and turk at Funan! Expensive food sia haha..
And after that i went to selegi there, supposedly to meet junsheng, hongleong, shijun and jerico to play dota. But they meet very late, somemore they are LATE! so.. actually i waited 2 1/2 hrs for them to arrive..
So what did i do while waiting. Well i went to a great place to chill out. Paradise centre there. Every friday saturday and sunday will have some music students over there performing singing.
I just sat down there listening to them, relaxing and thinking. Life is busy, sometimes sitting down alone could be cool too. People need to learn how to relieve stress and relax.

26 May Saturday
Didn't have much life in the afternoon, nobody is online, nobody asks me out.
But in the night, wtf is going on!? I asked val, hl and js to supper. But val wif her gals,
so i waited and think who to ask too. Then so long never see my dear dennis! Haha, so i decided to ask him go supper too. But bedok, damn far! When im just about to leave, pailoong came online so i asked him along too.
Bedok 85 there eat haha. And what do i meant by wtf? Cause, koklin and wende after that also ask me go supper, zhen cong(sispec frn) ask me go zouk, val ask me join them watch pirates of the carribean, then xueling and angie ask me go fetch them go eat or what.
Ehh.. still got any? I forgot.. But like what the hell, i free jiu free like siao, go out jiu all ask at same time = =.. Sigh, a person life and time is limited, i cant have all the time to accompany all my friends and treasure them like everyday is the last. Oh wait, family is more important, i should have more time for them!
Hmmz, life is short indeed. Singaporean life is busy, that means lesser free time =(

Today first day of working. Im working in Xogi company, and under it is Mygif.
Don't ask me can do or not, cause, basically i don't think i will be doing anything much.
Reason? Today i format the computer, reinstall everything... than pack everything in the office into boxes.
Coporate gifts, computers, accessories, so many things!
Total there are 8 ppl including me. Im not the youngest! haha.. got 1 chi/malay mix blood guy abit younger than me. Haha!
Happy to hear that they say i look young, in fact younger than i look! Haha! Happy!
Others, my boss, 1 malay uncle, 1 auntie, and 3 other females all married, lol... Gosh, no gals haha. Nothing is bad, just how you or me treat it. At the good point, at least i won't be distracted or have what company affairs, later very troublesome lol..
The boss treat us to dinner! haha, great... save $.
Well, i think my father has the intention of me buying a car to work and studies etc. I also want, but its such a luxury item. Even if im gonna get one, it wouldn't be so fast too i guess. Although its convienient, but.. Wait til im stable, or i find it really a must ba. But even i buy also buy small car jiu hao le haha!

Tomorrow is.. god! Unpacking at the new place. Its nearby, but there's so much things to unpack. What's worse, im gonna set up the whole system up. Whattt whatt.. im not really familiar with everything lah..... somemore first day so many things.. haha..
Im seriously wondering what am i working as.. 3D designer, graphics designer, industrial product designer, warehouse personnel, system administrator, or networking? -_-..
But overall i think this is a good company, and there's plenty of things to learn =)
Ahh, life is about learning, the elders love to talk to me. I've learn to learn everything around me. Be it how people design, how people sell things, how people places their things, how people communicate, how people see things, how people deal with problems, how people encourage people, in fact every single little thing in your life can be learnt. And in fact, im trying to learn everything =)

I think i know more than what i know, but actually, it seriously never enough.
Life is about making choices. Even if the wrong choice is made, it will never be too late to turn back or make it right =)
Just my piece of crap ^^

--jiaqian-->

what a day..

2007-05-17T16:28:00.000+08:00

oh god.. my blog has gone.. = =

Well... i'll cut it short then..
Went Guan Ming Shan pray for my brother in the morning. Layout the stuffs and etc, and when i get the joystick, and went inside the lift to where his position is located, my original mother received a call.. and.. her father had just passed away.
God.. Recently has so many death cases. The taiwan jetplane crashed and killed some army personnel, luckily it doesn't involve my guys in taiwan. Then the heavy rain killing the woman at bukit batok, injuring two. As well as a malay woman in johor. Singaporean as well. Sad.. Did i mention it blew down 3 pots of plants at my house as well?
Sighz, Life and death, is always by the side. Sad, but every death begins a new life.

After that i went to amk hdb hub walk around with my sister while waiting for YunRong(bird). And we went to have lunch together.. Quite a long time since i last saw him. Had western food again, im getting sick of it already. His friend Alvin also joined us. Self employed delivering goods.

Went home after that, and Kevin called to ask whether he can come over. He just had soccer match behind westwood secondary school, which is near my house. His team won the finals! God.. Even a person who don't kick soccer... Haha.. Reagan played on the opposite, he plays basketball too, and is darn good.. and tall too.. Envious..
Hmmz, so later, kevin and me, met Calvin and Daniel at the Cathay and we watched Blades of Glory.. God.. funny! hahahz! The whole threatre is filled with laughter the whole time. My phone dropped inside the cinema, made me go back take = =.. The seat is too comfortable.. very big!~ Oh we had dinner at the basement.. some japanese food.. Left with Alvin in my poly gang havn't seen for quite sometime.. Hmmz..

Came back.. oh yea.. Firstly, welcome those taiwan guys who came back! I missed u guys ^^ 2nd welcome my choir juniors and her frns back from taiwan too! 3rdly, hope Sebas will get over soon, and Olivia i don't know what had made u sad, but cheer up soon k? ^^ Tataz~ going to sleep..

--JiaQian-->

bangkok

2007-05-14T15:03:00.000+08:00

Just came back from bangkok. Its a sudden made decision.
My sisters are going to go there, and they ask me whether i want to go there too.
Actually i don't want to go, but i think it'll be the final overseas trip that we'll go together. So.. i agreed. And it really turned out to be a really unhappy trip for me, and its really the last.

First of all, I don't have much money and my initial decision is ok, i just accompany them go there only, i also don't plan on buying too many stuffs. They say they help me pay for the air ticket and food. I don't really want to spend their money. Later on the air ticket money rised and they ask whether i mind paying $100. I say ok and don't know what conflict they have also. Then ask me whether i want go not or what shit. Asked me to go and when the money rised and ask me whether i want to go or not. Its not like they are as poor or nearly as poor as me. Then they ask me to borrow sleeping bag from my friend. So cut down on the rental of 1 more bed cost. At first i ok, later on i think about it.. Im going there to have fun and play, wtf, ask me to sleep in sleeping bag on the floor? Crazy. If the ticket hadn't been booked that night, i would had said no to the trip. And they got unhappy about some other things as well. Fuck.

Secondly, I already said i would pay for my own rental of 1 more bed, and my sister told the person to add one more bed, she turned around and told me remember to return her the $. Fuck, i already said i would pay for myself. Just that we havn't go and change the fucking money. Change of money also want to be very precise, as if i would mind it.

Oh the trip is just about shopping only. Before they go mention like very interesting, say it'll be wayyyy different when going with my father going overseas. Yes, its very differnt, alot more boring! Yes shopping only, and always staying in a shop for very long. That's my elder sister. Can just stop and suddenly disappear inside a shop without mentioning a word. Ok, i don't mind shopping and carry things for them. Her attitude is fucking bad. Cant stand it. Always act like know everything and in the end is her don't know and is wrong. I bet thank you and sorry doesn't even exist in her dictionary.
Buy things, they can buy like so many things and say very cheap! I getting an extra thing as a present then keep bother me, buy that for what? So expensive, don't need to get lah, we have alot of things etc. Tmd??!!? They don't ever feel they are contradicting themselves. Thanks eh?

And where got people can get so stupid and ignorant? That elder sister can ask me and my other sister go up hotel room 1st, she want to smoke outside hotel. And there's so many other people outside there. And wear until so low cut and short shorts. Tempting others to commit a crime? Or she want to get laid and come back crying or what? Stupidified. Walking on the road can suddenly stop and ask me walk infront, what? Scared of me getting lost or get abducted? Sorry, im alot more secured that you do. And she will stop suddenly inside a shop without mentioning a word, ask me walk infront. She prefer to get lost.

Don't know any sense of appreciation too. Money got stolen also don't know. Keep complaining and we already told her to zip up her fucking bag. Always leave it open, take out a bunch of money and count it. I fucking told her don't do so and like split some put inside pocket and some in bag or what, take my words like shit. My sister gave her most of the money as she know she hadn't buy enough. I also gave 500 bhats cost i only left afew hundreds also. Ah you got it, no appreciation from her. Its like everything, every person treat her nice is very natural, it must be done. What made me more unhappy, she treats her bf like shit back in singapore, always give him those eyes. He is a nice person and got treated this way.

I felt abit itchy in the bed because of the weird blanket and scratched a little and turned around afew times. And she say in a very unhappy tone, you keep turning around ar? Fuck?? Issn't normal people would ask nicely like you cant get to sleep or what? She means that im disturbing her sleeping. And i didn't even complain about the blanket so weird, and the bed gives me back ache etc. In my bed, thinking how a person is she totally depresses me. Selfish, ignorant, self-centered, proud, alot lot more bad points. Sighz..

Act temper somemore. Handphone, bag can leave inside a shop and go out of shop see other things, wth, got more stupid or not? Then keep say you all go ahead 1st, i very fast catch up when my another sister and me can go infront walk 1 round go back, she still needs a VERY long time to buy things.

I stopped to see some cheap 20bhats things, she will come back and squeeze her eyebrow: y you want to get it? You already got alot doesn't you?
Cannot stand it, nvm go ahead! Doesn't you have alot lot lot more clothings than you already need?

Take taxi also wants to quarrel with the taxi driver because of a mere 15bhats. Reason, the taxi driver take a big turn to go to our hotel. IM SO SICK of them. But the taxi driver attempted to knock my sister. Just a warning to scare her though. Made me angry. Fuck up. Although most people are friendly, there are always some who are the black sheeps.

In the last morning elder sister don't wake up say she sick etc. So i accompany my 3rd sister go to some place and buy things that she wants as i know she would feel lonely or what. That elder sister doesn't even realise my other sister has her own needs and etc. She can get so xiao qi and impatient. My 3rd sister wants to get some more things inside a shopping centre which she wants to visit, and she say i go first, later you 2 after check out then come. Nothing wrong? Its very wrong, we gave her most of the money and have not much to take cab over, and she cannot even wait for 5mins to us check out and most of the luggage belongs to HER!
Can be angry for this thing for a whole day. Somemore for her is in the wrong? Keep give those fucking dead people eye. What she does best is ruining people day. I hadn't been to an overseas trip so unhappy before. Didn't talk much, didn't enjoy at all, somemore need to face such a glumpy face whole day. Never, am i going overseas with her anymore.

More ironic, say i don't know how to think, don't listen to them etc. I do feel that im much much more matured than she do, and act alot more wisely. I laughed when she say so old already still don't know how to think. So childish, can be angry for a small thing. Can raise her voice so loudly in hotel, in shopping centre don't know what is embarasement. Somemore infront of her thai friend also like that. Unmatured til the end. Lol, can run away in foodcourt when my sister talked back to her too. Ahh, i don't care a damn. She doesn't have luggage, passport is with us, no money. Want to run away don't want come back, ok go go, go ahead =) Come back sit down act temper don't want to eat. My 3rd sister remind her don't eat later no more things to eat already and she still don't want to eat. Lol.
Later go airport she soooo hungry, walk so fast then go around see what to buy to eat. I laughed and told my 3rd sister, ohhhh hungry rat soo hungry, keep go around and see what can be bought and eat. Ohh, but its so expensive. Such a stingy person will not pay much. Ahh, i think that's my happiest moment over there. I just love it when im myself, disturbing people, cracking funny things, which i did on some people over there.

Took photo with one thai girl! Oh god, she's so pretty and innocent and hardworking. That's exactly the girl i like!
I doesn't really like city life. Everybody so impatient, rushes for everything, plots all over their mind.
With money, you are afraid that you will lose money.
With fame, you are afraid that you loses face.
With wealth, you are afraid that people cheats your money.
I love to see those thai people having fun, giggling together. They lead a poor but happy life. I also like the carving that they make themselves rather than those hard metals and chains that modern people use.
City life and village life. Which do you prefer? I would choose village life. perhaps because im tired of the fast paced lifestyle where we don't know what are we living for. The poor has a goal, to survive, to live happily. I don't belong to the wealthy, nor do i belong to the poor. What's the goal of my life. If you say to make money, for what? Vacation? Money cannot buy much things. Not relationship, not happiness, not freedom.

To be contented with your life, and treasuring your relationships is what most important!

Freedom and happiness for life!

Oh i learned some thai language over there ^^
Girls uses Ka, guys uses krup. Long drag sound ^^
Sawadee - Hi
poon - me or hair
kun - you
la gon - bye
pob gan mai - see you next time
kow tood - sorry
ani - this
tow rai - how much
lod gai mai - discount
krup - yes
mai - no
ko pun krup - thank you
na ruk - cute
hew - hungry
wel - already
hong nam - toilet
nam - water
arm kit - english
nin3 - one
song2 - two
sam2 - three
si3 - four
hak4 - five
hawk4 - six
qiap4 - seven
beipp - eight
gao - nine
sip - ten
loy - hundred
pun - thousand
yi sip - twenty

Hopes this helps ^^

JiaQian

ORD!

2007-05-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

Yes i know it's been a long time since i blogged.

Been very busy all these while.
Go for interviews, brushing up my long time never use rusty skills, going out etc..

Oh yea, its finally my ORD day! Waited this day for ages! But its not really a happy thing to me? Gonna split up with my buddies in camp, maybe i won't be seeing some of them in future as well. Parting is sad! But well, i believe i will keep in touch with most of them. No more slacking days, no more weekdays lieing in bed playing game, psp, chatting, eating etc.. No more canteen breaks together, no more soccer or basketball or swimming together. The days which are really bad had became memorable, we endured it through. No more chao keng together. Perhaps its just the bond between us that kept me sad. Working days is boring and tiring. Sianz! But im still the same as others who are happy to get out of it, to regain freedom, to end a chapter in life and begin a new one!

Actually i must agree army issn't really a bad thing for guys, just that everybody is dieing to get out of it. You learn alot of things in life, you turn to become a better man, you become more matured. Its true and real, although we might still be lame sometimes ~_~

Work work! Gotta brush up on my skills, and try to create some impressive works in these days, so as to get a good job, a good pay, to save money and plan for future.. ^^ Ahh, but i always say say no action, pretty bad! Didn't have much of my assignments left as well, cant really show the employers. I will learn as much as i can and in future open my own company i hope! God bless me!

Had much fun and im like on a vacation to singapore when candy came. Went to places which i won't normally visit, and walked around singapore. Its good to relax and enjoy whatever its in the present. But my brain is filled with alot of things and cant really enjoyed myself to the fullest. Haha..
Night safari is fun! Guys and gals, visit it already if you havn't. But go in early, because i feel that walking inside there would be plenty of fun as well. It is abit costly though. I just suggested a fun and romantic place for you and ur partner!

Ahh.. i miss the taiwan guys! We get pink IC and they are in Taiwan, unable to witness it. No farewell to them too.. Sigh~ But that is a SUPER enjoy trip i believe.. Enjoy you guys over there, while we get our pink IC, and you guys will get it soon too ^^

--jiaqian

2007-04-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

9 more working days to ORD!
Cheers and hurray to me!
But it's just another beginning of another life. Work work, i need to find a job ^^
Anybody has a recommendation or lobang? haha~

A random drawing by be using the grapphire which i bought in IT fair.
Feel free to comment on it ^^

My unit is quite.. fuck up! Clearing off and they call back to say i must go back tml morning for a needle injection! What the hell!? Can't they do it another day or what? So many ppl clearing off and ask us go back. Zzz! Its ok, soon!

Went for an interview today. Just wanna get a feel of how an interview is like. Lol!
It went fine, but at the same time made me realise how incompetent im. Learnt everything but forgot 80% of it, and everything is half standard.
Ahh.. im a very good example of jack of all trades but master of none.
Learn and know so many things but none of it is my specialized skill or talent or whatsoever. Sighz~ I get tired of one thing easily too..

--jiaqian-->

company dinner!

2007-03-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

woot, just back from my company dinner.
We went to sakura located at sommerset for our dinner.
ZhanHong drove me there! Haha!
I didn't drive although there's car because:
1. Traffic alot very mafan
2. Afraid sister back from bangkok and wanna use car
3. Don't know where is the parking lot! Haha! And there's different places different prices for parking over there. =\

Well.. the buffet was great!
Had plenty of shushi, i love the fish egg that 1~ Just love it! haha
Shark fin/Ginseng chicken soup, abit of fried rice, prawns, vegetables, chicken wing, calamari, ehh.. japanese fish forgot what that called, satays, alot of dolly, salmon, cheese sausage which i taste no cheese, chicken chop, beef, mutton, sotong, another type of japanese fish i forgot what name is it already.. can eat whole 1, on a stick.. siew mai, and 2 more donno what, oh alot of raw salmon ar, raw prawn ar... with Saaassshhiimii.. haha.. Master Jason gave me taste the sashimi they mixed.. damn choking but nice!! haha.. i don't eat shushi when im young, think i don't know how to appreciate the taste. Now im just a rubbish bin, eating everything.
Oh desert is nice as well, so many cakes dennis and dunno who took. All try try.. yummy!! 2 Servings of ICE CREAM! I love it! haha. my ice cream is beautiful, plenty of peanuts, chocolate and the many colours toppings. Splendid!~ Well didn't really eat alot but stomach abit pain because i ate too much raw food. Haha!
Well, i paid only $10, the rest OC pay for it. another $200 from wits proj fund. Many of us eat oh~ Burnt pocket, burnt OC! sad~

All discuss discuss very long dunno do wat, then all split up~ woo hoo.. Haha!
Oh saw some of the ORD personnel, Jeremy, Jason, Jaime, Vincent. But didn't really have much chance to talk to them, sit too far ~_~ Well seems like all doing good! Soon i'll be the same as u all! Oh yea, the sakura got 1 person outside hao lian sia~ i told him we ORD soon, he say he last service den mp.. ROD soon = =... liew~~

--jiaqian-->

long

2007-03-29T11:07:00.000+08:00

Soooo long since i blogged!
Was very very busy the previous days.
2 weeks parade, eh well, and before that there's more which i cant really remember.
Hmmz, suddenly blog and im lost..

Hmm~ oh yes, im going to ORD SOON! YEAH man happy! 20more working days to go, but in actual fact 1more mth. The sad thing is that i still have to go for 2PDF course at my last month. Bores!
What does 2PDF stands for? Please don't fight. NO! that's a joke alright, its people's defense force. Haha.

Im going to get a new computer soon, no matter what, and i'll place it IN MY ROOM!
that'll leave me with 2 computers, but y not ^_^
But it'll be expensive, me-so-poor! ORD soon, no job also..
Anyone has a job to recommend? =) I'll be glad to take it up!

Let's see what's new.. I'll be studying in SIM next yr! Bachelor of Multimedia and Game Development. Hope i'll really do my best and do well. But its 2yrs since i ever worked on it, so a little worried!

Finger injured 2weeks ago also havn't recovered. Sighz! Don't know why it takes so long to heal. And i had been drinking milk these days! Haha, not to make myself taller, but to strengthen my bones. Too weak already.. so many people realised im so injury prone. Haha, that's not a good sign!

Movies watched: TMNT, Bean Holidays, 300
Movies going to watch: Spideyman 3, pathfinder, sunshine, and sure there's more but i can remember in this instant. ^^

--jiaqian-->

sad

2007-02-25T00:19:00.000+08:00

im really more and more and more disappointed in life.
Disappointed with my family, disappointed in everything.

Why do a father always bring up the past and say his son.
Why do he keep link everything to me say that's cause i never go out learn etc.
Last time i keep go out he not happy, now i stay at home he not happy.
I eat myself, also not very rich, everyday go out i millionaire ar?
Why for everything that i do he is always not happy with it?
Today got neighbourhood dinner he wants me to go but i duty.
I went back camp and ask this and that to switch etc cause i want him to be happy.
Why didn't he appreciate this?
Just cause he's going up stage to receive the prize?
Why cant he appreciate that im sick and still agree to go help him take picture?
He didn't even know im sick!
Why must he keep say the pictures i took useless useless useless?
Didn't even give me the exact thing that he wants me to take, i take all kind and due to different scenario some pictures not nice.
Why he must keep complain and complain and complain?
Say i didn't go and learn other people take photos nicely again.
Who bought a camera for me at sec sch and spoilt it when i use it afew times only?
Learn what? learn shit? Very disappointed in him, everything say i didn't go learn didn't go learn didn't go learn.
Nvm, i still owe him.

Why must my sister complain too?
Why didn't she think of i make the effort to go back jurong point and fetch her, although its quite long. But i did say i not so fast reach there.
Cant i alight my friend who is on the way? Keep complain say i go send my friend home that's why so slow.
Why cant she just take the fucking bus home and want to wait for me to reach there?
Why must she so stupid go stand in the rain and wait?
Why cant she appreciate that the rain is so damn heavy and the jam is so bad?

Why my family cannot take comments and advice?
Why do they always think that they are always right and don't accept other people opinion?
Why do they always say im wrong im wrong im wrong im wrong?
I say ok they right they also not happy.
So low morale with each day.
Ask me why i don't talk to my family? Its only they are the one talking.
Say what they also don't want hear, talk for what?
I live for i won't 對不起 others, but why must others always 對不起 me?

Why must one avoid me so much?
Why cant i live in happinness?
Why people always think that i never think anything?
I have so much fucking ideas and deep thoughts and thoughts bout life but i just don't know how to put it in words.
Sighz, life issn't good at all.

Sighz, getting sickness of old man.
Don't say i curse myself, really gonna die soon man..
Very short term memory, depressed easily nowadays, back ache, gastric pain, ankles pain, knee bone keep rubbing each other painful, sick easily..
But nobody see or feel my pain.
I don't express my pain, i don't show my weakness, i suffer in silence.
Been in the boat of pain, i saw people fear, thoughts, and heart.
I told someone nobody would understand me more den 60%, this will remain true forever.

How much difference would it make if im not around?

Anyway, wishing everybody a very happy pig year ahead!

--jiaqian-->

Back from NZ

2007-02-12T10:23:00.000+08:00

Im back from New Zealand~ Ground troops.
Ask me whether it is fun? Of course it is! Firstly FOC, sencondly it is such a beautiful country, thirdly food is so nice, and lot more reasons. All fun except for the days when we are outfield... wrong, when its in the night time. I grew so afraid of darkness. Its so cold, my fingers are so numb that it hurts so much when i touch something. But die die had to keep the things, do the things im supposed to do.

Days at Waiouru camp is good. The food served there, omg u cant imagine it! 10x better than singapore, pasir laba camp! Breakfast will have bacon, egg, sausage, porridge, or lamb pattie, or other sausage etc.. It always make me look forward to eat breakfast. Haha! But it had turned me fat! =x
Lunch issn't as great, but still, its veryyy nice! Lagsana, curry beef or chicken, lamb chop. pork chop, fish pasta, whatever it is, its still damn nice. Always have 2 options to choose from as well!
Dinner is still the best, its like machiam living in dream world! Main dishes is excellent, but the best of the best is still the desert! God~ chocolate cream cake, ice cream, don't know what cake with milk, and and alot alot more! Thinking of it makes my saliva drop. Haha!

The weather is really cold although its summer. Highest temperature is 17 degree celcius. Lowest is below 10 degrees, abt 7 like that. Luckily it didn't dropped to the extreme -degree celcius! Or else can see us die over there. But still, when we are outfield, the night is so unbearable. Cold strong wind is enough to make us shiver. What made it worse is the rain that rains upon us that started at 1-3am.. Combined together, its really the killing factor. Sleeping bag is also all soaked wet, but i chose to remain inside and shiver. Some will stand outside in the rain, not moving. Haha! But we all still shiver like mad out there.
We learned from the commandos as well, saw how they build their shelther, hide, for survivability, as well as to minimize the wind from getting in. Normal people wouldn't realise that is an observation position ^^

We played basketball at the camp as well. Its indoor court. Omg~ we always ran to the court as it is too cold. The door need to be closed as well, or else fingers all numb, cant play bball. We won't sweat much or even won't sweat if the door is opened. Poker cards do so much wonder over there. Will lose breakfast, must help ppl spread peanut butter on bread, lose fish, and on later part will do so much PT lol.. Gamble all these is quite fun lol. Best part, CO, CSM also got pumped.. haha! RSM and also joined to play big 2 etc as well..cant forget the medics as well. Machiam all frns hahaha!

R&R is not bad as well.. Although its only counted as 1 day 1 night, but its not a bad experience. Went around, the clothings are stuffs are all so exp. I bought alot of ice cream to eat. Haha! Nice nice! Souvenirs are expensive as well, meals too. There's nothing cheap over there except the cars. Omg all so cheap! Afew thousand can buy a car already. Those afew hundred thousand cars in Singapore is only afew ten thousand over there. *Envious envious*.

Back in singapore, stressful life again~ I like going overseas! Just like leaving everything behind and just relax and enjoy yourself. Well, wishing everybody a happy valentine's day and Happy Chinese New Year!

--jiaqian-->

busy busy

2007-01-19T13:36:00.000+08:00

These few weeks were quite busy for me, havn't really got time and sit down and blog.
Hmm, anyway~ im going to New Zealand soon! This coming Sat! 20th Jan - 9th Feb. Don't miss me too much ^^

Don't really remember all the details.. but anyway, these are eugene birthday pics.

Cockwise from top left: Hong Leong, me, shujuan, eugene, junsheng

Find it a hassle to put all the pics.. haha

Ok, these are yelian's birthday

XiuYing and yelian

Shiming, soonjin and me

Huijuan and me

Habourfront river view~

ahh.. alot ppl lol

Me and ruoyi

Me and yelian

At the burger king

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hmmz, ok last fri Candy came to Singapore~ Junsheng and me went to fetch her.
Was quite rush cause there's minister visit to our camp then alot of things to settle. Anyway i rush off, sorry zh, kt, hq didn't help out at the packing of ops box.
The rain is soooo heavy, i cant even see the lines on the road, and the cars infront of me is not very visible too.
Was afraid i will got in accident, cause that time the person tell me beware of traffic accident ><
Hmm, reach there and bring js and candy to changi village there eat. Actually i also 1st time drive there.. haha!
Had nasi lemak, rojak bundung, satay.. mm mmm~ nice nice. Damn, shld had try the malay stall chicken rice too, heard very nice and i see alot of people ordering that.
After that send js back home, and went back home.
Hmm~ so talk talk until don't know what time, and go to sleep. Didn't sleep much and well though =\

Saturday 13rd Jan
Jianzhang came to my house in the morning, and after we all are ready, we went to jurong point.. Eat what ne..
Crystal jade!~ Oh oh, nice nice ^^ Ramen and Dim sum, nice!~
Later on went to Jurong east sing ktv, junsheng joined us soon after because he need to book in earlier.
Sing sing sing, 6pm+ we went off. Jianzhang had to go off to have family dinner, so didn't join us.
Went to habourfront the coffee shop to have our dinner: chicken rice, duck noodle.
After that walk around inside Vivo city.. wah lan.. really big, walk walk, i don't know where im~ Haha
Hongleong joined us for the movie at 9.15pm, death note 2! Finally i went to watch!
Ohh ohhh GOdd~~~ Misa Misa is soooOoOOooOoOOOoooo beautiful!!! So envious, how i wish i know her!
Condition she given light is he must be undergoing bgr with her. God, i want! Hahahahaha.
After the show the actual plan is go Dragonfly. But then there then know guys min age is 23.. Wah lan~
Oh yea, waijie and teckhock joined us here. Anyway, my sister friend got us in powerhouse, which is supposed to be able to past through dragonfly later on, said by her friend, ah hou.
Music issn't really that nice in powerhouse, left there soon after, tried to go in dragonfly, but stopped. Say cannot T_T.. Then sister before that already drunk, don't know what she talking about already. Keep calling me ask me where im when im walking towards there and just hanged up.
So after that we don't know what to do, where to go. And in the end decided to go geylang eat tian ji zhou. Luckily waijie got drive man~ haha.. Zhuan dao!
Hmmz~ not bad not bad, gong bao and jiang cong.
After that jiu went home~ Oh yea~ finally tried the liquor i bought that time. Coffee, vodka, cream, vanilla.. haha not bad afterall~ Later on play play~ then go to slp.

Next morning wake up, send candy to airport. Had lunch over there. The what popoyes chicken that 1.. Yea nice man. ^^ Or at least i like.. haha..
After that send candy in by eye power, and returned home. Departure is always sad!
I go New zealand nobody come send me off~~ T_T.. but alot ppl acc me in! hahaha

Hmz.. this week, what did i do.. quite busy in camp, and luckily its only a three days week.
Thursday and today block leave, to get us prepared to go to New Zealand.
Excited? Maybe, maybe not. My heart is as calm as the sea. Haha! Just afraid that the cold is too unbearable although it's summer now. 2-17 degree on a summer.. Thanks alot!
Packed all my camp things into the kit bag on sunday when i book in, and submit it to be send over on monday.
God, already so full, how to take back everything man.. Something to worry about.
Bought heat pad, glove, luckily i had a snowcap! ^^
Don't know whether want to buy sweater not.. so exp.. abit waste of $. Now i realised~ actually sometimes i also quite saving.. Things that i don't need or doesn't really use, i wun go spend the $. But i did really spend alot of big $ already ><

Ahhh.. now another problem to think about. What am i going to do when i ORD~ I already started thinking this last time. But its time to fix an answer. Study full time + work part time! At least now im thinking i should do so. Sighz.. what job should i take in the future to earn big bucks! Definetely i would want to open something and sell. Food~ is da best. But where to find the people who have the skills, and how do i learn the skills to do so. Hmmz~ big prob.
So studies, going SIM study... Marketing or accounting? Marketing alot presentation, my presentation skills really sucks, and accounting is boring i heard. Damn.. what should i do!

--jiaqian-->

Shooting star!

2007-01-07T21:09:00.000+08:00

Guess what~ I just saw a green shooting star on my way back home from jurong point.
My first reaction was, what was that? and looked behind the trail to see if there's something behind it or what.
No! It's a shooting star omg! So beautiful! 2nd reaction: I wondered how many people like me, saw the shooting star.
During that time im thinking about something, so i immediately made a wish! But the wish to me, is impossible now.
Wishes i made never came true. Things that can come true, will be a truth, not a wish anymore..
Now the song 眼底星空 match me so much.. previously is without shooting star..

Watching the shooting star as it flies through the sky, through the clouds, my heart drifted along with it.
If i had went the other direction to the interchange, i would not be able to see it.
If i had not lifted up my head at that moment, i would not be able to see it.
This is fate.. Perhaps the god had given me alot of fate, but i had lost alot of chances. Regrets filled me.
If i had grab hold of the chances, if i had not let chances slip past me.. There's so many IF out there.. sighz..

The timing! 7th January, 7.35pm Jurong point sky!~ Never gonna forget this beautiful moment ^^
Perhaps my luck had just changed from today onwards.
Oh oh~ the watson girl i met today at watson not bad~ ahh i just let a chance slip again.. Sighz..

Neway, today bball was quite fun too ^^ happy to play bball, alot ppl too!
The sun is blazing hot!

2007-01-06T12:23:00.000+08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/64433732@N00/ <-- photos in taiwan.. there u go livz, there u go everyone~ Deleted some as the cap is 200 photos.

Last day of 2006 went to eat some 7 course meal at paradiz centre. It issn't a good day man.. Everything is quite screwed and made me quite pek chey.
1st is i cant get the tickets online, cause the taiwan earthquake cannot use master. And the online booking thing keep don't fail me at booking. And that time js ask me book is 5pm! Its the time i gonna go and prepare myself and all these stunts come out.
Next is my sister ask me get her specs, she will come PS to find me. I thought she would be there already, but she called and asked where im at 6.30pm. She's still at her bf house, Bukit Batok! Wtf, expect me take a spectacle run around like an idiot? Later they take cab down to paradiz centre and get it from me. Oh before that js they all cant get tickets at PS as it is too late already, he was late as well! Busying with what i don't know. Argh nvm bout all these.
So later after finishing the food, we go The Cathay and want to book tickets. Shujuan don't mind singing KTV, Junsheng and cheeseng don't mind too, but hongleong is sick and eugene don't sing. Want watch movie, but the timing issn't that right as well, and sj need to work the next day so cannot watch midnight show.
So in the end still have to choose a side. So we went to play lan for awhile and then go watch Night at a museum at 2am. Not bad the show, quite funny.
Walk around go find something eat after finishing the show. Settled at Mac and ate big breakfast. Waited for the 1st train to come and went home. Straight away went back to camp again. Father send me.. thx!

2007 issn't really a gd year for me huhz..
At the start of the year i got to do extra duty. Happy New Year present!
What's worse, i fell down at the stairs.. Left hand was injured, got a long stretch of how do you call that, 刮痕 and black green. Zzz man.. What a new year gift..

Tuesday Hengqi supposed to take over, but he 7.40 then call me say just woke up. So handed over at 8.30am. It's 8.30 cause i already walked downstairs and he just came to company line. In the end i was late going to bball too. Meet ppl 9.30am zz.. But at least that day bball was quite an enjoyeable day. Geehoe brought his frns, and his frns called their frns come too.. Fun Fun~

Thursday i got guard duty! At first thought i was the only one from my unit. But got ruiyi and boonhwee join me still not that bad.. Though i surely Guard comm damn sian le, but luckily sispec Charlie company got a 2nd Sergeant do guard duty as well, so guard comm him le! See rank one! But he farking cb, didn't do his job as a guard comm also.. His OC got come in guard room scold ppl, then he later keep whine say its not his job what.. Its his job! He say he know all these things, but actually he don't know also, yawnz! Go play his trainees too. What the hell, Sispec commanders so kiddish. Book also don't want to sign, useless 2nd Sergeant.

Friday also not good. The RP by right should take over by 6am, in the end don't know the 6.30am one is him or the person help him take over 1st. Angry sia, duty also come late make me and ruiyi stay late. Sispec ppl 6am already went off, including that useless guard comm. Guard comm nv hand over, want 2IC to do it? What?
So ok, we went to have breakfast then go back bunk sleep. 7+am le..
9+am kena woke up need go for New Zealand briefing. Yes you never see wrongly.. Im going to New Zealand on the 21st this month. Thier summer temperature is very scary.. 17 degrees celcius! And we're going to their summer = =.. Cold like shit.. Summer morning is cold, summer night is VERY cold.. Die lor~ haha.
Guard rest 2hrs only.. thx ar!
Oh oh, the good part is, RSM treat us chicken rice eat as it would be quite rush and late to go back camp eat. Areana there, the chicken rice not bad ^^
Not long after we reach camp, we need to draw arms and go for SOC.. zzz.. not enough rest go for SOC test.. somemore so long nv do except clean fatique go do SOC on wed. Passing time 9mins30secs.. I don't really have confident i can pass actually, cause i nv meet that timing be4, and somemore now 1yr already suddenly test. But luckily! I made it back in 8mins57secs.. Haha! I passed.. My last SOC of my life! Happy ^^ The more hardships that press on me, the harder i gonna prove it wrong? Haha!
After SOC, zzz.. some ppl book out loh~ while others sway like me, got to stay back in camp. Got standby in camp! Wah sian right, stay until 11pm then can go off.. Haiz! This unit is like this..
Thx father for coming to camp to fetch me home again!

What's worse.. i came back home, cant use internet also. My computer keep don't have connection to the internet.. No DSL detection.. What the fuck... Yawnz man..
Oh and next week my friend clear off, and guess what, i got arrowed to do CDS next week. What shit.. Our staff, no, master, he upranked! He just like to pick me... Sighz..
There's a person who's unhappy with me as well =( Made my week worse.

What's lucky, i don't think all these will be that bad for me~ Its all fine, all fine! ^^ and the person not unhappy with me also le ^^ I'll just go through all these ^^

--jiaqian-->

taiwan fun!~

2006-12-30T12:50:00.000+08:00

yo.. i know its slow that i blogged on taiwan.. and it shall be long.. bear wif me yea ^_^ because taiwan is really sooooo fun~ haha! The below are the time that i blogged~

Dec 20
Im now on the plane, in about 30 mins i'll be arriving at taipei! Tao Yuan Airport. Excited man.. 17 degrees and small rain now, it'll be cold! Eva airlines is not bad, the food and service provided. Drank abit of red wine, apple juice, orange juice and tea just now.. haha. Though the TV series issn't a big catch, the songs are very up to date! There's games at the TV as well, damn the computer, chess is so skilled.
Just now in the morning is in such a rush.. Js slept late in the morning and we met at 10.30am at CCK instead. But he need to buy a new pair of shoes, so i and hl went to had breakfast 1st. After that we reach kallang, hl wanted to shit = =.. So after he's done, we rushed to the airport. So gan jiong, reach at 12.40pm and our flight is 1.10pm! God, took the sky train to T2 and quickly do the check-in procedure. We're the last to get to the waiting zone! Haha, in fact we didn't wait at all, straight away go to the plane. Oh the plane is descending, continue another time!

Dec 21
My 1st day had ended. So, my hotel is actually at Xi Men Ding! There's drizzle throughout the whole night, and the traffic jam made our journey from airport to hotel longer.. Abt 1hr 30mins. We quickly checked in, settled down and went for dinner as it is 8pm+ already. Had Ah Zong Mian Xian, bubble tea, tian bu la, Chao Da Ji Pa. Walked around too, familiarise ourselves. Bought a i don't know what you call it, snowcap? Not bad! Haha.. We went around somemore, and had Chou Dou Fu which issn't that smelly, and another Ji Pa. 10+pm, shops are closing already.
After this we went to a pub to drink and know two gals working in it. Xiao Jing and Xiao Wei, 22 and 20 respectively. Haha, I keep suan their makeup made them so white =x After that we returned to hotel at 4am+, slept only for 3hrs, and now im awake again, preparing to go out again~ ^^

Its 12am midnight now, didn't go night life today, need to rest. This morning had some peanut paste (they call it Mi Jiang), the salted porridge taste like pungent smell though. After that I had Hua Zhi Dong Fen. All near my hotel, food is normal. After that we went to buy You You card to take their MRT to Dan Shui. We walked around the area and bought some stuffs, got a shirt, not bad ba~ and later on the way to Yu Ren Ma Tou, we got some Wu Du Wa Wa. Haha, funny thing. Take note we walked over to Yu Ren Ma Tou from Tan Shui MRT, not bus or cab. The journey is soooo damn long by foot! Haha, don't do that too! Oh the temperature there is 10-12 degrees.. freezing! Saw the infamous Yu Ren Ma Tou,, and the Qing Ren Qiao. There's alot of china students having holidays over there as well.
Later on we took bus back to the MRT station. Taiwan students just released from school. 5pm in the afternoon. Woo.. the people here are really more beautiful and fashion than singaporeans. Quite up sia ^^
We took MRT to Shi Lin Ye Shi at night. Everybody were so tired and didn't talk much. We had Mua Zhi on the way, very nice also! Though there's some conflict between me and js.. lol.. Oh Shi Lin got a Chou Dou Fu very nice. Its beside the 3 Ma Chou Chou Guo, and opposite of it is another Gu Gu Ji Huo Guo i think. Best Chou Dou Fu i ever ate! The inside outside all same biting feeling, bite and the i think oil seep out.. lol.. Really very nice.. Give it 5/5! Muz try muz try, but only night got sell. The queue and the wait is worth it! We tasted snake soup as well! Its abit nicer than chicken. Haha, don't care, must try everything!
Later we reached don't know where, we played some games. Shot the fake gun, throw some hoops game, and the best of all is definetely archery game! Haha, its a nice and fun experience! Had alot of miss by a cm cause don't know the exact spot to aim. They say the arrow will land at a balloon space higher at the tip of the arrow you aimed. We walked on, and realised we are already at ehh.. Qing Tan ? ( 1st word wrong..). Wow, we walked a station distance. Today had travelled alot sia haha. But only part of Shi Lin is explored only, still have alot more = =.
Well later we came back after having somemore food and drinks, and walk around. The people in arcade are insane. The Tou Lan Ji, wtf 100% accuracy, throw so fast somemore. The drum set as well, super zai.. Inhuman!

Dec 22
Its 10am+ in the morning, im still in the hotel!
Let's talk about yesterday journey. We went Taipei station in the morning. The Fan Tuan near the MRT station is also very nice! Muz try muz try. We took a walk around the place, tried some different things to eat. Saw the Xin Guan San Yue, the building sure is high! Ate You Yu Gen Fan for lunch, so-so.. haha
Walked about, went to the park, hoping to find some people playing basketball, but no. There's some weird weird buildings, oh there's a museum over there. Museum in a park, funny eh..? Hmmz, there's also people roller blading over there. Lots of kids as well.
We walked back and there is a basement shop which is very interesting! At 1st only saw some people playing and selling games, when we walked deeper, we discovered nice stuffs! Haha! They sell H-games, hentai comics, those edited normal comics, and porn! Wow so many collection of it man.. haha.. Singapore don't have all these legalised man =( Taiwan good! haha! Later on had some tea and coffee before heading off to Zhong Lie Si.
The guards there are really powerful, cant imagine them standing straight for 4hrs, no moving, no smiling, no wiping of sweat if its hot, or no tremble when its cold, absolutely nothing! The changing of shift is also very interesting, alot of things and patterns they must do to change shift.
We went to Ye Lin Wen Quan later. Wah shy man, the people just naked walk around, suppose we do the same! But most of the people are uncle, old old 1, haha. Oh the temperature you won't believe it! One is 14-17 degree, while the other is 36-47 degrees. I read the book, must go warm-hot-warm-cold-warm. But, there's no warm 1? Im wrong! The 14-17 degrees is the warm 1! We went to the wrong 1 at start haha.. Its freaking cold, and i walk into the hot 1, wah lan, freaking hot. Really is Pao Tang sia.. Dip body in the soup.. haha. Ok lah, good experience.. shu fu also.. haha
Come back to Xi Men Ding and walked around. Friday don't walk so waste, so many school girls and people after work! Pretty pretty gals~ A shop call Top is very good, basement for guys stuffs, 1st floor woman stuffs, then comics, followed by cosplay stuffs, and finally, don't know what you call that. Haha.
The best part is still the clubbing part! We went to a place call The FACE at Tong Ling/Zhong Xiao Dong Lu there. Mostly Taiwan people, the gals are much more prettier and hotter than Singapore gals, more open also. They even had a mini event held inside. 5 pairs of gals come up stage and dance and the hottest pair win. The girls even took off their top and dance. Got 1 group even more exaggerating, take off her bra, but of coz got cover. Nice place, Taiwan! Haha, there's more good points. The place is not that squeezy, and the drinks is free flow! Only need to pay entrance fee, just abit more expensive than singapore. Happy hours! Friendly and warm-hearted Taiwanese too! Unlike Singaporeans =\ Sigh! Know some people over there, ermz.. Vicky, TingTing, 1 more guy and gal forgot name.. And know another side 1, Ah wei, Candy and Yoyo. Lol, i just sit there they 2 go know them and intro 1 =\ I just don't know how ar~ haha

Dec 23
We went to Zhong Zheng Ji Lian Tang. Nothing much, just walk around, took some photos. Tired day it is. Later on we went to Mei Li Hua, the Mo Tian Lun there you know? Walked around there, nothing much also, perhaps we are all too tired. Later on very fast is evening-night time already. We board a cab and ask him bring us to the nearest Ye Shi except Shi Lin. And guessed where he brought us to? Rao He Ye Shi! Well, we were all asleep in the cab. Haha.. too tired. Tried alot of things. All quite nice to eat, and bought some stuffs.
God, we board the train, Huo Che! Cause, there's no MRT over there.. god where are we man.. haha.. 3 blur sotongs chased after the train, and we don't even know where is the terminal to board the train... Faint.. haha. Heng we still got on the right track by asking. Went back hotel and waited for Candy and Yoyo to call us to go which club. At 1st we planned to go to MOS 1.. But..
We went to Vacuum Space. Its alright only, not as fun as the FACE. But i got drunk that day.. haha.. Don't know why, maybe never eat proper meal, maybe sleep too little.. Don't know.. haha. The rapping by the people are very nice! Taiwan is good~
Not bad not bad, but over here, very jialut man, didn't eat proper meals, sleep late everyday, and keep drinking.. very bad for health haha.

Dec 24
Candy called our hotel and wished us Merry Christmas! Oh and thanks for all the people who smsed me merry christmas! DIdn't reply all of you cause... exp ar.. haha.. Soz! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all you guys!
Little people celebrate Christmas in Taiwan, so the festive joy issn't that big. Woke up late in the morning cause sleep late in the morning! Oh, Candy came over last midnight. Ehh.. funny the date and time i abit confused..
Anyway, we all went to the zoo. Wow, so many people go zoo in Taiwan! Does many people go to zoo in Singapore? I don't know.. haha. Haha, their zoo comprises of alot of things. Animals, bird park, reptiles park, insects, alot of things ar.. Entrance fee only 60 TWD only. Which is equivilent to our $3. So many things~~ didn't have time to walk and see finish everything though, they close at 5pm. Long time since i went to zoo man..
Later on we 4 went back to Xi Men Ding to eat Ma La Huo Guo, Yuan Yang Guo, which means got 2 types of soup. 1 is Ma La, while the other is.. not spicy 1.. Haha.. cannot stand the Ma La 1, chilli oil sooo much.. Eat eat so hot man.. But its so nice to eat Huo Guo~~ Mmm, nice nice.

Dec 25
We went to Long Shan Si to pray in the morning. Pray pray.. Pray for Yin Yuan lol, and prayed for I don't know what i pray that for, but later on then know that it is whether for career, money, family or wat one. My is normal, the person just ask me be careful of traffic accidents. Hl got Shang Shang Qian, Js got Xia Xia Qian.. wah lan... he become so depressed man. Later on we went to Tai Pei Di Xia Jie to walk and see around. Not bad they have 2 underground shops, another 1 is at Shuang Lian there, very hip place!~
After that we walk walk don't know go where, and finally landed at a massage parlour. Oh oh, the massage ladies there are all so young.. 20-25 years old 1.. Haha.. got drinks for us also.. Hmmz, not bad.. haha.

Dec 26
We had the 3 Ma Chou Chou Guo which i mentioned previously for lunch. Wahh, not bad not bad. Recommended - Ya Bao Guo.. very nice and the ingredients also alot. Omg, the Chou Tou Fu there is omg omg omg... the smellest i ever eaten... haha. Its not fried this time, just boil it with the soup. Freaking smelly.. haha.
Later on.. we went to Yang Ming Shan.. Walked alot of stairs.. wow.. 1st time we sweated in all these days.. Haha. Its freaking big as well, we didn't manage to walk finish. But the waterfalls there is really very nice! We took a very long bus ride back to Taipei MRT. Students released from classes. Wah~ they just sit down on the bus. Me no space move ar =\ Waited for Candy at Taipei station, and we went to Hua Na Wei Xiu and 101 there.. Took alot of photos. Christmas trees, alot of things ar.. ^_^ Buying the camera is a right choice! I love my camera! At first wanted to go to the don't know what storey there see the view, but only left 45mins, and the entrance fee is 700 TWD. Im ok with it actually since i have alot of money left.. Haha..
So, later on we went back to Xi Men Ding, go their KTV, Candy and her friends helped us book.. Hmm, very high class 1 nehz.. but the price is not very expensive. Wah lan, they siao man.. bought so much beer over.. Finish le still go out buy somemore.. Know Candy two more friends, Ah Q, and Zi Yi. The Zi Yi drink drink and collapse! haha! DIao diao~ we ordered some food to eat as well, and the price is merely 400 TWD each. It'll be alot more than that if we ordered those in SIngapore. Wow wow, its a happy and happening last night! Ah Q power, self high king haha! Taiwan oh~~ so fun, abit cant bear to leave it =( Aww, poor Candy cried because we are going back already.
We played til 4am+, go back hotel bath. Oh i already packed everything except toiletries in the morning, so am ready to leave. Took the cab at 5.30am, Candy accompanied us to the airport. Was quite everything switched off.. haha.. too tired..
We had burger king for breakfast, and later on go inside, omg the queue so long, Js go ask people if he could let us go infront of him cause we're going to be late.. haha.. Thanks that person! thx thx! 2 times board aeroplane 2 times rush.. diao.. haha.. I didn't realise how tired im, except that i know the plane is taking off but im sleeping. The Kong Jie served us food, i didn't eat much, in fact im dream-eating.. Drank 2 glasses of milk and orange juice and continue to be in dead mode. Haha! The Kong Jie surely wondered what had we 3 did previously.. Throughout the flight we kena knocked out! Hahaha! I didn't even belted up throughout... Lol.. Faint..

The fun is all over~~ Singapore, back to truth!
--jiaqian-->

2006-12-17T16:16:00.000+08:00

woo hoo.. so relax, i had been slacking since 20th november til now.. always do nothing... haha... camp doesn't require me to do much things since they are all on excercise wallaby, hmmz, but now that they are back, things are surely going to spice up soon.. sighz~ butttt... before that, im going to taiwan soon!! hahah.. tis coming wed 20th Dec the 27th Dec.. Will be celebrating christmas over there.. haha.. hope it'll be fun~

birthday..

2006-12-08T20:18:00.000+08:00

Dec 7
Well, wishin me a happy birthday 1st, as well as koon teck! lol.. same day birthday man.. So how do most of you spend your birthday? I spent my special day in a special way. That nobody would had guessed it.

I got a cake which i nv ate be4 lol, as well as some several memorable items, and waited for some1, which results in the person getting pissed off, surprising though. So basically i did nth but waited and gave the things to that person, and the person, i don't think tt person even remembers its my birthday. Had did far more den anything that i had ever did for anyone, and getting a result of red marks, ahhh, hurting issn't it? Well, i did expect that anyway..
So i ended up eating dinner at home alone da bao-ing. Ahh, don't gimme that look, i deserve everything i have. So many things to describe me, nvm, i don't really mind or care.

Well, thx to all the people who wished me happy birthday on that day! I didn't del away the msges! I wanna to keep it as memory lol.

Woot.. i juz found out that chocolates work for me as well! Got some Amicelli Dove chocolate on my table.. a day a stick of chocolate makes me happy! lol.. I felt like i slowly reverting back to my old self.. in the midnight eat tibits see comics den slp.. ehhh.. not gd but i juz like it.. hahah.. needa buy lotsa chocolates and tibits for myself, to be happier! hahah.. heng i wun become fat 1.. but i still wun like it when i got some excessive fats that i dun like... hahaha.. sad.. and im so lazy nowadays.. die die~~

--jiaqian-->

Happy birthday to me!

2006-12-02T17:34:00.000+08:00

Yesterday is my birthday celebration! Come to think of it, i never felt any nervous, or excited, or very happy bout it. Weird issn't it? How did i pass my previous birthdays? Sometimes never celebrate, sometimes go out wif frns to eat, sometimes go out wif family to eat. This time its different! There will be neighbours and relatives, as well as my frns who will be coming to help me celebrate! Yay for 21st Birthday. Perhaps cause the actual day is not yesterday, that's why i didn't feel anything bout it. Or perhaps other things..

Well, first of all, thanks alot to all those who came to my birthday! Well, i really appreciate it! Though some people are very rush but they still came, thx alot! Celebrating on friday is really a bad day, wow so many people is not free, so many reasons especially these days. Exams, work, wedding dinner, overseas for army, oversea for joy, duty, other birthdays, busy, sick, cant come cause of whatever reasons it is. Or perhaps cause i don't really have frns who would and willing to come my birthday ba, but whatever it is, its ok. Haha!

Hmmz, some people went to work at sitex, after knowing me celebrating on yesterday, and after their work will not be early, or perhaps i shld thx too, cause they make the effort to come, serious thx. While there is still people who promised and didn't come, beforehand i already know this would happen, but then if ur not interested juz say not free or whatever! Feeling of get cheated issn't gd. Still there's ppl not free y, cause playing mahjong, well i didn't expect them to come either, so its ok. Slping also got. Argh, wat worse got a number thought im gonna celebrate today! After reminding i changing to 1st Dec, not 2nd Dec for 2x. Well, partly my fault for keep changing. But i have my reasons too. Why not keep it at 2nd Dec u will ask, cause my parents n neighbours going overseas this morning. So no.. Really quite disappointed about some, who i wished to be here, but not here.

Ok all the bad parts aside, but really, appreciate everyone who came, and who wanted to but cant. I enjoyed it, hope u guys enjoyed it too though im not good at hosting. I would prefer ppl feel like its their home! Haha! Oh, and thanks for all the presents~ and my relatives and neighbours Ang Bao $ ^^

Before the celebration, i took half day off and went to sitex to buy some things for myself with zh and his gf. Hmmz, i got a digi cam which i used on the day itself, i choose it, my sister return me $ later!~ as birthday present haha~ so nice of her =p So exp, $499, cheaper 1 no more stock liao.. a razor diamondpack mouse which is $49 only now! Want to have it long ago, as well as 50 CD-Rs, i use plenty alot of these =\

I know i do still keep alot of things, sometimes not letting it out is better den letting it out!~ Well, lastly happy birthday to me in 5days time!

--jiaqian-->

bball fun!

2006-11-20T01:10:00.000+08:00

The previous days is indeed a bball week for me. There's a bball training on Wed, Nov 15, but the unfortunate thing is that i got injured by a new guy, who don't really knows how to play bball. His knee just crashed into my muscle which is below the hip area. It sure hurts alot. Made me cant even walk properly. I desperately tried any means to recover it, applying deep heat, yoko yoko, keep rubbing it enduring all the pain by biting my teeth hard!
That day is really a very bad day, for everyone. Firstly, my friend sprained his ankle, next my friend injured my other friend's lip, after that my head banged with another guy's head and he went to MO.. Ehh, my head issn't that hard, is it? After that is i injured my leg. Back to bunk and some people went to play soccer, well, a trooper of my sprained his leg as well. Its quite funny though, one person stepped on his shoe, and the other person crashed into him, and he sprained his leg... Injury day issn't it? 1511 should be a good number to buy 4D! haha!

By thursday it didn't really improved much. When i woke up and felt the pain, don't really feel like im able to walk to breakfast. Hmmz, issn't much things going on, except today is standby day, because of Bush coming to Singapore. In the night some went to play soccer again, i predicted there will be injury as well, and as expected, our PC sprained his leg. God?? Everybody is having injury this week, what's going on? I hoped my leg will be good enough for the bball matches tml!

Better i felt, but still not to the standard that im able to perform my best in the bball matches. There will be 5 teams in the Intelligence bball competition. SSG, ISG, AID, NID, as well as us, representing G2. The first match was against SSG, they are a very strong team, i was only send to court for only 1min or so, and got changed down because i was limping. Damn it, i hate the person who injured me! But as long as i warm up enough and make myself used to the pain, there will be not much pain for me! So i just stretch and apply Zhen Gu Oinkment, and keep jog arnd to try to keep myself forgetting the pain. 2nd match i played for how long, i cant remember, but its quite easy against the AID, partly due to they only left 5 people as 1 person sprained his ankle. After that we went to have lunch and i slept for about 1hr before going back to the indoor court to prepare for the third match.
Its versus the NID, the regulars have quite alot of experience and some of them is quite good, but we still defeated them. Only able to go for the 2nd half though. What said here issn't that interesting and blood boiling as on the court itself. Over there there's lot of fouls, pushing, cheering, small actions, alot alot of other factors. The next match will bring us to either 1st or 2nd if we win it. The ISG is definetely a force to rekon with. There's a 3pointer who is very accurate, and his passes is very good as well. Well, not that im booasting or whatever, but i felt really good in this match. Me and another frn was to take turn to man mark the 3pt shooter. Got into the match not long after the game start, and so i did my job. Its really really very tiring, and exhausting, but it really kept him low, and didn't make much contribution to the team. On top of that, i made them all feared me! Haha! Nearly half of the points was scored by me, despite i wiping the floor with my shirt after every shot or layup. But due to that, it also made me make them foul me and shoot free throws. The feeling is really very different. After all the running about and pushing each others, suddenly stop at a spot and shoot can really exhaust me. There's a part which they called for time out and changed tactics, which made our gap smaller til difference in 5pts, and our team morale is very low. I got 2 splendid layups in when they feared my shooting and stick close to me. And another steal starts another fast break, 2person caught up with me, passed the ball to my friend and his 3pt really fix the game. But i had already used up all my energy, and need to rest! haha, my job is done afterall! Everybody is really damn excited about that match, we had really gd Mo Qi, and everybody did their defense job very well! Too bad the match wassn't caught in video, or else its defintelyy a match worth watching. But the bad thing is the referee is really very bias, whenever they foul, he don't call for foul, but when its our defense, even if they pushed us, its still us who fouled! Damn!

Well, im really getting very over excited for this, but believe me, that day is really very fun for all of us. Very enjoyable as well, over there, there's no rank, no age, everybody just on the ball! Its about basketball! After we won the match, we had another match with the SSG again, but i only got to play for another 1min again, WTF! perhaps the captain don't really like me, he never really put me up the court, perhaps because im injured, perhaps im abit off today, i got in court always cause of assisstant incharge ask me subsitute in. Well, i really hoped to play with the strong team. They even had a national team player inside, he's indeed very good and stable. So challenging and fun, haiz~ how many times would me get a chance for that? It all ended after the match, from 8am to 6pm, tiring day issn't it? We got in 2nd! Of course im happy bout it, but with some regrets. Full court really has so much differences compare to half court, too much to explain. This post on bball is also too long =p But its a memory to write down! Heh, Cheers guys!

--jiaqian-->

calvin's birthday!

2006-11-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

First of all, happy birthday to calvin! Its his birthday in another 30mins!

Its song long since i last saw him, couldn't remember when was that though. I just went to his birthday during nights off with kevin. He came to my house, and i waited for my father to come back, and drove to calvin's place. Hmmz, 2nd time go by AYE haha!! always go by PIE.. Oh yea, sent my sister to jurong point first.

Hmmz, the whole ride through and fro is quite alright. Except that i nearly had accident twice! God, and its not my fault man.. 1 time is i from lane 1 change to lane 2, and another car from lane 2 juz swife in without signalling or wat, luckily i saw it and changed lane again. = =.. Considering himself a proficient driver, and im juz a P plate driver! Another time is at x-junction and got one person just right turn in front of me, when im going straight! What on earth are all these people thinking? Its not worth wasting the time and $ having an accident man..

Calvin's birthday issn't that bad afterall, some of his campmates i know, and some is the old aloha chaps~ oh and calvin's cousin, git as well. Although the bbq food is abit burnt, but there's not much to complain if somebody cook it for you right?~ Haa, and they drank alot, too bad i need to book and and drive. Anyway, enjoyed his birthday, since its been so long since i saw him, and others!

Didn't had a gd afternoon, got sad over someone who i asked out and not free again. Well, I really hope its the last time i promise myself. Hope i can just take it easy, and just let go of the feelings. Hmmz, its all over afterall i guess... Is liking someone really that tired, or liking her is that tired? Or is it just me, that's tired of it. When will my her appears, after i thought she's the one..... Sighz..

--jiaqian-->

tired

2006-10-28T16:03:00.000+08:00

Hey guess what its a long weekend for me! Yesterday got half day off cause of a run got cancelled. Well the lesser time i spend in camp, of cause im happier! Next tuesday they will be having the CSB test finally! Hmm, but im not going to take it. Of cause I can take it, but the badge is worthless to me, I don't wanna tired myself, having risk of getting myself injured, or do all these for nothing. After the CO set the rule that we are not supposed to wear jungle hat, i have no pride anymore~ What's the use of a recce cannot wear jungle hat, and need to take an INFANTRY badge! He himself don't have the hat and wanna make us all cannot wear, that's quite unfair issn't it?

Neway, yesterday was jianzhang gf, shujuan birthday. Met hl, js, jz at Clarke Quay mrt station and after sj and her frns all arrived, we set off for dinner, at Actors. Wow.. the dinner there is free =x free buffet! But that's cause jz noe one of the person working there and he introduced the venue to him. Ordered 3 jugs of beer.. god! i hate beer! Drank 3 glasses! Argh! Pang sei-ed tw they all to zouk cause really don't have the mood that day, and birthday is more impt, and as they wanna go to sing ktv later, so i joined them instead. Sang at the party world at chinatown til 1am. I sore throat anyway, cannot sing much hahaha.

After singing hl suddenly decided say go play mahjong. Im too on, so does others. So went over to js place and play. Our playing speed is really damn slow man.. haha...His house tiger is really so fierce, come out of the room wanna go toilet already in prowling position waiting for me. *cowers* I lost again, very sad! Anyway play til don't know what time in the morning then come back home. Totally exhausted, board the bus and saw a sec sch frn, say hi to him and he alighted, and fell aslp immediately. Same for taking 172 back. Come back home also straight away die in the bed.. haha. Just now woke up internet also keep down, angry manz~~ Luckily now is fine already. Hmmz, tml will be working for 12hrs! $7/hr, not bad man.. haha!

Perhaps what issn't meant to be, is just meant to stay so.
Time make distance further, gap wider.
Let's cheers for singles! Cheers!!
--jiaqian-->

sianzed

2006-10-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

argh its a quick post be4 i book in. Just went for a haircut and.. god, it sux! cannot kao face eat rice le! Joking, it never does, did it lol? anyway, tml will be a damn sucky day, i had 16km fast march in the evening! Abrasion and blisters everywhere again. Play bball today again, thurs still got 1 more training, well, it doesn't really seem like a training, with so few people, and.. it just seemed like we are playing normal matches. Im so tired of army, pulled me back behind to waste so much time. The only good thing is knowing more people, and thinking of what i want to do and what i want in the future. Its troublesome huh.. Heh, and im reading books! Incredible huhz! lol.. but the Harry potter belongs to my friend, i doubt i'll ever buy books. Its kind of interesting anyway, think i can finish it quite fast if time allows =)

Gtg, take care every1, main reason being the hazey genting atmosphere. So guys and gals, just drink more water, and take care of urself ya~

1 week break~

2006-09-28T15:53:00.000+08:00

This week is a happy week for me for sure. So long, i havn't experienced a week break. I missed school days, where there's a week break after exams. Well, i cant remember all the things which i did, but there is certainly a big accomplishment by me! hahaz!~ i tidied my room, its not normally tidying! now my room is very clean and tidy! I threw away alot of stuffs, old stuffs, unwanted stuffs. I used to keep alot of things as they might came usefull in 1 day, and alot of things hav memory purpose.

Talking about memory, there's really quite alot of memories in the past man~ Some bitter, some sweet, some good some bad. Heh, at least it made me spare some time, thinking about the past, what should i do and what shouldn't i do. Ok mostly of what should i do, i don't really regret what i had already did. Well well~ its all past, while im refering to the past, i believe in retribution! What i did, what i let go, is what people did to me! Its a really funny world issn't it. Well, i can say i missed the photos of the past, those letters.. and those cards! I had been a crazy collector in the past too, rubbish collector maybe heh! I collect stamps, stickers, phone cards, marbles, rubbers, dinosaur collections, hah, alot of things, but the best part of it is still the photos and letters. Thx for it =)

My room: I threw away the secondary stuffs, tons of it, who needs it now? Nobody, and i don't think i will be studying them, new age students have more updated and harder versions as well. My maths score is just funny, i can fail til single digit, but can get as high as full marks. What on earth had i been doing! But i just cant believe how come my results are so poor. Haha, its the past anyway, though i don't think my results will be very good in future as well. Too bad i cant move my bed alone, too big and heavy, haha.. You got it! its big, u can share the bed with me haha. My shelf is alot more tidier den it is before, comics and megazines and some books, not my books though, but i should be getting some, and must read it! My brother is indeed a great person ar, reading bout countries and politics etc. Must look up to him! Table is alot cleaner too~ haha.. basically my whole room is quite in order, what should not be there is not there, what i cant wear or use is no longer there. But sure i did throw away alot of good stuffs.

I went Kbox with my sister yesterday, she called my elder sister, and my father and her joined us later! It feel great not to pay anything after enjoying.. haha! I cant be poor in the future man.. for my character.. lol.. What i meant might not be what you think, but its just me. Nvm if you don't get me haha. Hmm, they really very good ar, in future when im rich i must really treat them better! Describe it? Ahh, hard, i just need to remember who must i treat with extreme care, that's definetely my sisters and father. And no, i didn't miss out someone. As for friends, what I know, what I think, will be for myself to know =) I never regret treating someone good, but treating someone bad, except for people who will take advantages~

Well~ this break certainly gives me great freedom~ Doing whatever i wants, knowing how others are doing. I feel like ord-ing so much.. haha, who don't wish to! Well, feel sad as some are leaving cause of ord, this includes.. yonghui, edwin, eric, lim ting, joseph, shunming, well clark also lah, though he pangseh me for thailand hatyai trip, but sure i did learn things from him too. Hope u all do great in the future~ though i just saw some of you last night. Today most of you got your pink IC! Gratz on leaving this battalion. No more suffering of this type of treatment. Good luck on future paths =) thx i learned alot from you guys too =p

Though i never go Hat Yai, but im still able to do alot things which i must do at home. But i know these things certainly won't come to an end. Four days left, i must enjoy it as much as i can before going back to camp and suffer the next mth. Hmmz~ i don't really have a very far vision, but i will just want to make it big in future. Not for myself, but for others as well. I cant live depending on others, but others can be depended on me~ =)

--jiaqian-->
29/09/2006

its been so lonnng..

2006-09-13T20:34:00.000+08:00

Its been so long since i had blogged. Miss me? Life had been busy and its definetely not easy for me. Alot of things had happened in these 5 mths. Its hard to start with. Perhaps i should really spend some time writing my blog, so that my life won't go on without memories. Why did i say so, because my memory is really very bad, things that had passed got erased away from my mind, but there's some exception. Its happy memories, as well as sad memories, depends on how I look at it. Maybe you already guessed it, yes its about a gal, sometime i will write out the story so that in future i can miss it, and perhaps laugh about my foolishness =)

Let's talk bout army life first, getting along with different type of people is really not a simple job. Nothing can please everyone. If im being myself, i'll try to treat everyone as good as possible, because I wanted everyone to do the same to each others. Wondering why am i not libra.
There's a fact that i discovered in life. You treat everyone good and everyone will assume you will always treat them good, and if you are not willing to help them out for once, they will remember you for life.
Then there's the opposite. You treat everyone badly, and occasionally treat somebody very good, oh and they remembered that you treat them good.
The same applies to doing work as well.
This is a really very interesting fact don't you agree with me?

Sometimes i really think that people treat me for granted. The things i did always help others in a way or other, but rarely do i get appreciation from them.
Stop doing all these? No, because that's myself, i like to being myself. If i try to change myself, i will become confuse again, confused between who i really am, what am i always trying to do. Heh, I do whine like a small gal don't I?

There are bits and bits of events that i remembered vaguely. But its juz tiny bits of it that aren't able to picture it as a whole. Im bad at telling stories afterall. Oh there's one major event though, the AHM! We trained wks and wks, with our own sweat and blood. It finally ended on Sept 28. Part of me felt sad as the running session will be reduced, which means lesser excercising apportunity. Part of me felt happy because of the tedious training. Im always having conflict among myself.

Well, these 5mths, there's definetely a countless stream of people having birthday. There's more coming as well too. Im here to wish everyone a happy birthday, happy 21st birthday especially =) Hope everyone like the present that was given to them!
Im starting to organise birthday as well, hope there will be many people that can turn up~ Its impossible to describe every birthday i attended right~ perhaps i will try if there's time and chance.

Im quite sad actually, because of my own spending ability. I can't get it, why am i getting so much good stuffs to enjoy life. Oh.. perhaps i did that to make myself happier, really hadn't been in very good mood all the while. I have to put on a smiling face don't I? If my mood issn't very good, all the people around me will be shrouded with an unpleasant atmosphere. If only the person is still there for me to listen to my troubles, my joys, I will feel so much better.

Its all alright don't worry =) Knock my head on so spendthrift! Now is IMF week, unhappiness is everywhere too. Whenever there's work to do, everyone will be in bad mood, but when there's leisure, everyone will juz enjoy it, forgetting bout some others in misfortune. Hope the IMF will go on smoothly, and the thing i wished will come to truth. Gonna go to thailand to enjoy at the end of the month, well, its a good time to relax myself. I enjoyed going for holidays, ohhhh am i turning old? Nope i hope~ Recently i discovered my self turned more sensible, more responsible and more dependable! heh =D That's what i feeled, and what i feeled is always true. But there's more things for me to accomplish, to learn and to enjoy.

haiz..

2006-04-26T18:40:00.000+08:00

Actually i wanted to stop blogging already. But.. well i blogged again.

This world is indeed not for me. I shouldn't had been born out, what for? To suffer? Really, maybe the lightning shld juz strike me when im on ops. Sometimes i really want to live, while sometimes i really dun feel like living. Although it may seem past to others, but it happened to me many many times. I have nth in my life, no future, no past, no present.
You all may argue im living in a big hse and have lotsa $, but this is so untrue. I live in an empty hse, even with people but "dummies". I eat and spend on my own, trying to cut down on expenses so that i can return my father bit by bit. There issn't real speech between us. There's only father who will only scold me, sisters who keep repeating the same thing, stepmother and sister which are not only transparent, but turning the world more upside down, relatives.. i dun believe in that.

In this world, nothing is true. Why does it seemed so? Even you treat people with sincerity, with care, but with 1 mistake you make, people will treat you differently. People always look at others weak side, but they dun ever look at theirs. I tried to be as happy as i could, help if im able, but even robots do get rust, they do need some maintanence and repair. Im in fact very weak but i cant appear weak to others. I always fall, always make mistakes, always fail in whatever things i do, there's so much so much things that i cant do.

I really tried my best in everything, but the god is going against me, what i really wanted, no matter how much i try, what i do, how i preserve, it will fail. I really don't have REAL trust in anyone anymore. All the people are having a motive, maybe treat u as subsitute, backstabbing each others, and all sorts of nonsense. Even in the game world it does interfere with real life. There's no longer meaning in my life! How can people really hurt others without feeling a thing. How can this world havn't meet its doom with all these people.

People always says, you are worst den a beast, but in fact, people are worst den beasts. The beasts prey to survive, people prey to have fun, to establish happiness on others misfortunes.

To be a human is hard, at least for me. You need to build a barrier between you and others, and need to let others break your barrier, break other ppl barrier, and have a bond. Actually what i wanted to say is not this, but, i dun wanna say it.

I did actually cried juz now. I cant have a gd family, cant trust on frns, and whom i like will never be the one. Is the world torturing me? I know i cant live for very long, i will suffer more when im old, and im already losing my memory every now and then, why cant i be blessed with happiness like others. Every happy moments turned into my sad moments.. I used to think, making others happy is the meaning of my life, but the more i think of it, the more its wrong. Making myself happy alone is definetly not the meaning, i guess the world is juz not my to begin with. Haiz..

***Meaning of the day: If im blind, i wun c the ugly side of this world.If im deaf, i wun hear the evil gossips.If i dun exist, there wun be unhappiness***

this issn't my world to begin with

2006-03-05T07:58:00.000+08:00

Coming towards the end of my recce couse.. hmmz, 1 1/2 wks more. Been slack, been tough, its all juz army. The unfortunate event is juz that i got my wrist injured while playing soccer, and sprained my ankle while playing bball in camp. Well, and this made them stopped us from playing contact sports i guess, as there's too much injuries.

Yesterday juz attended lok's and sj birthday party. 4th March 2006. hmmz.. actually both their birthday is not yesterday, lok is 3rd March while sj is 12nd march. But they juz booked it the same day. Well, went to meet bird and yelian in the afternoon to get present. Discovered that we had 6 ppl sharing $ to buy present for sj, wow, so quite hard to choose present.. In the end bought 2 shirts for him. As for lok, got it beforehand.

Reached lok's hse at 5.30pm and looked arnd, cozy place!~ Ate some stuffs and sit arnd while some trying to make the karaokae system work. Later more and more ppl came, talked and walk arnd abit.. den head for downtown east for sj's birthday. Well, its like the big part is over already, left some food and some ppl over at his place. Talked and talked, and ate something.. After that sabo sj be4 coming back home and wtf.. when i reach pasir ris mrt, the last train juz took off in 4mins! Need to take cab.. so took the cab with kevin and he dropped at bedok while i continue my journey home.

Quite no mood cause of something.. Well, the world juz issn't meant for me, i dun like the curse on me..

*Happy birthday to Ruoyi and Soonjin once again~ Oh yea, and yiping whose birthday is at 12nd March as well!*

--jiaqian-->..

zz

2006-02-10T20:55:00.000+08:00

its been 1mth since i posted again! Very long, cause comp was down for 2wks++.. got it fixed by 3rd wk, but need to book in soon after though.. Now i had formatted my comp, quite clean ^_^ $40 bucks for that! Ouch, but nvm, at least my comp could be use now.

Let's talk about some RCC.. Its definetely tough, with the field pack on the back everyday. I still remembered the first wk the 6km fast march, my leg cramped while walking, but endured to finish it. Felt so terrible. Every wk we will be taught on new stuffs, to infiltrate, recognise all the enemies tanks, weapons, artillery, helicopters, plan maps, plan stuffs.. Etc.. but how much could be remembered, i dun really care, as long as the time passes and the tests passed. But, sometimes i did showed interest at the new things that they taught us.

Some of the days at past few wks were quite terrible as the load on the back and the long distance walking, climbing hills etc really exhaust me. This wk was.. how to say it.. it was fun, relax, stressful, dirty, tiring, all you could name it.

For this wk, the first day 6th Feb we went combat swim in four with our field packs, Life jacket was on and the knots etc was done, so not much danger involved. The only part that was bad was the soaking wet boots and socks. Field pack was well water-proofed! ^_^ I only fear that i would get foot rot, but they were nice enough to let us dry our feet at the night. But after im done wif the packing unpacking all the stuffs, it was 11.30-11.45.. Ok.. i went to slp and got woke up at 12am for Warning orders.. Oh god? 15mins of slp thx.. Listened abit, kept dozing off, luckily the team commander wasn't me for the mission next day, but i tried to keep awake to "help out". I did not and couldn't help in anything.. too sleepy =(

2nd day.. i wun talk much bout it, its juz executing of mission, relax, link up, etc.. Then slp, team commanders gathered for mission orders again, etc.. 3rd day we had swamp walk in the morning! OMG this is really really really hell!! i walked 1st at the start and starting was alright, but i went further and %#@! my whole leg was in the mud! and i really mean it.. i turned back and looked at my teammates and the climbed up some harder soil and the last 1 asked me to hurry. F**ked up.. used all my strength to drag both my legs out, and continued.. at that pt it was only 10m from starting pt = =.. we had to walk in the swamp for 500m in NW direction! Later on my frn got stucked in the mud as well. He's worse, stucked and theres roots on both sides of his feet, couldn't get out. I was sooo tired and din really helped, i doubt they realised it cause i was only the one who was struggling through the mud that was until my thigh, but nvm, i dun need to say what happened and what what. My frn and another officer from another helped and got stuck as well, luckily no roots. Later the captain and another officer also came to the rescue. My PC didn't even helped at all! WTF.. my frn was quite mad wif him in his heart. My pc at the end of the swamp walk was the cleaness.. mud only until shin level.. not bad... while my frn was mud all over his body.
Continued for our mission etc.. the close in recce and etc..
hmmz.. at night i became the team commander and lead them, lead to a pt and where the track was shown on map but not on ground! F**ked.. Then had to do night bashing, and i was quite worried because first time i did night bashing and i wassn't sure whether there is a track in front.. Later finished mission as well, too lazy to type out everything.. Later have another night surveilance mission.. Too tired and slept til morning.. Abrasion on my groin was really bad and toe was sprained during the day contact with enemy. Ran and tripped over a ... tentacle..? Shu Teng.. dunno how say.. neway..

Thursday, 9th Feb went back to the training shed near the ferry terminal. Oh yea.. Master Shawn is a REALLY VERY NICE PERSON! God.. really treat him with respect.. Stopped other vehicles to get some bread for us! Might be a small thing to ppl in civilian life.. but to us is like.. haiz~ need to be in the shoe and u can feel it. In battle alot of ppl will really die for him man. More details but lazy to type out.. Hmmz.. went back to camp and another shocking news when we arrived. The tonner that had 6 bikes on it and 10++ field bags(including my) met an accident and went under the expressway! What the... well later on in the evening time the bags were recovered except for 1 or 3 bags.. stuck under the bikes.. Well.. gone case.. my and some of the ppl toggle ropes to tie the bikes were also gone. I thought my field bag was alright then when im about to leave and what!? the strap was pulled out.. Need to get a new 1.. = =.. 1 more shocking news later on as well! Some1 lost a Night Vision Goggles.. It cost about.. im not sure 3k or 10k+.. but 12 06 means paying double, and its not that simple.. Its an offence and its the same as losing the rifle.. Consiquences is heavy ya.. haiz.. alot ppl lost things.. our unit dropped 2wires as well, got punished, my frn lost a muzzle! God.. at least 3 extras..+ paying back.. Cow-borned wassn't that good this year.. Well Well.. end of my statement ^_^ Hope anyone who read it enjoyed =)

--jiaqian-->

bike course ending

2006-01-10T22:59:00.000+08:00

wow.. tml is the last day of my bike course. Time passes real fast. After this will be the start of my recce course. Would be tough =\ Well, that time after my HSP, alot of things happened. I had alot of tests, on circuit, on public road, on wet surface breaking. I don't know why, but i juz kept failing. Circuit first test too nervous finish wooden plank, figure 8, rib plank, salalome, and hit the kerb during the crank course.. Failed. 2nd try i slept after lunch, so when i woke up to take the test, was quite not right, so dropped off the 1st plank, very stupid. Finally passed on the 3rd try, but most of them were already so far away.
During their 2nd public road test, it was my first. I failed again due to friday. Alot of vehicles parked at the mosque, which was near the traffic light. I went there and saw the exit is not clear, slowed down and stopped be4 the traffic light. Light was green though. Tester say my brake too sudden, i had nth to say. But it was really a lose-lose condition to me, he could fail me stopping at green traffic, or pass the stop line and stop in yellow box, or lane change at yellow box. Whatever i do, i would fail. I wanted to lane change previously, but the cars juz wouldn't allowed me. So i failed with mixed feelings. Felt very sad because i lost my pride. My instructor looked down on me and said i surely fail, i wanted to prove him wrong.. but, i failed.
I really wanted to do something big, which i could had pride in, raise my head. I don't want ppl to look down on me, I need to be more confident, more daring, everything better. I need to improve myself further more!

The last test was the wet surface e-brake test, 3 tries, and the tester nv whistle for me to stop. Was quite fed up because of the lousy reasons he gave, and the instructors explaination. I promised myself i would not fail this simple test. But, i failed again! Why muz i keep failing? When would i will have the taste of successful? When would ppl look up on me, when would i taste the feeling of happiness?

Forgotten which day, but is around the starting of this yr, 2006 Jan, had supper with valerie, her father's van going to be scrapped away the following day, so acc to have the last moment of the van. Everything which is with you for sometimes, would develope a emotional bonding, its painful to break it. Oh.. wasn't it last wed.. Jan 11.. yea..

These few days kept raining, and we had to ride bikes everyday in the rain, if long distance or heavy rain wif raincoat on. It was fun though, riding on the expressway, small roads, travelling arnd some parts of singapore, the best part was riding on off road, the tyres wun obey ur command and would keep drifting here and there in the soft soil, going down steep slope, going past mud pool, those rifts, or what is it called, water flowing 1.. and up down up down.. very fun =) But its coming to an end. Everything had a start and an ending, the next time i would be riding for my course or leading my troopers, no more anyhow le. Restriction again.

Yesterday watched some vcds of Wang Zi Bian Qing Hua, its so funny, romantic, and the guys are so cool. Why do i only realised im stupid, slow, not humorous, and cant get along wif every1 now. Had i been like that since the start, or had i changed? I changed for improvement but turned out to be degradement. Weird. Elizebath town was a great movie! Just finished watching it. 10th January.. Oh yea, Happy Hari Raya every1 ^_^ The gal is juz so sweet.. So detailed, if there's some1 like that in my life, it would spend me 3 lifetime to pay back. Why do i get touched, depressed, sad, and angry so easily and often..?

I love the sea, the sky, and the long stretch of grassland! At first i duno wat's that attracting me, but i guess its the distance, the feeling of never ending, that attracts me. Warmth of the sea in the morning, calmness of it soothes my heart. Clouds and blue sky make u live inside ur own world. Comfort of the grassland, sound of the nature, smell of grass.. Sweet! Imagine lieing on the grassland in the night, lookin at the stars, siting down and u can hear the gentle calm and wave coming from the sea, with your loved 1 beside u. =D

I want to slow down my pace, i've been going too fast, on everything. It made me do everything in a rush, wun enjoy every moment and part of the world if ur hurrying. I want to take my time, take a good look at my surrounding, enjoy every moment which i had. I wondered why am I in such a rush everytime, was it becoz of my world is ending? I always say and afraid i had not enough time. It was true, but I juz doesn't get the meaning behind it.

--Wanting to be a bird which could be free...--
--jiaqian-->

bike test tml

2005-12-21T23:21:00.000+08:00

hmmz..17 Dec, last sat fail my HSP test.. meaning Highway Situation Procedure test. Went inside very nervous and stressed. Because say wrong 1 thing immediately that qn wrong.. will be given 3-5 qns.. I go there so nervous and the tester time the stopwatch say U have 15mins to talk. I immediately so nervous and want to talk asap, den wrong wrong.. 2nd qn is quite lame for faulting me.. 3rd careless minor mistake fail me = =... nvm...

18 dec, sunday, went to play bball in the morning. Was late haha..but alright lahz.. dun1 to play too vigorously.. but too bad ar.. sometimes situation dun allow and i sometimes used my right hand to shoot and play abit lahz~ left hand alone cmi.. painful but endure =x After that forgot what i did le..

19 Dec, monday, had my HSP test and passed! YES! 3-3 all correct haha~

21 Dec, Wednesday, after 8 hrs of driving at SDC (SAF Driving Circuit), so shag and tired, went to meet lok and huijuan, they passed me birthday present~ @@ Thanks alot~~ Quite nice, like it thx thx.. Hmm, den eat yoshinoya wif them and their 2 juniors from SP choir.. quite friendly~ 2 Went off.. Then later come back home.. Tired.. Tml morning will be my bike test.. Hope i pass it and can enjoy my holiday! Scared of balancing drop off plank =\

--jiaqian-->

License~

2005-12-13T22:57:00.000+08:00

Monday 12 Dec, i injured my right wrist while having my bike lesson. Was doing emergency break, then i proceed after that, and the instructor say I dun1 to see ur right leg down! den dunno how gan jiong gan jiong, when break CG abit to right, tried to shift left den cannot! OMG, den wanted use right hand pull the whole weight back, but cannot lahz.. too heavy, 125 or 145kg + my weight = Fall! Sad.. Oh yea before that i wondered what will happen if i change to 1st gear when im in neutral. I know engine will die but dunno what will exactly happen. So i tried it! With hands on my lap, Change and !!!! Motorbike just thrust forward very fast and sudden, engine died. Wow.. Scary sia lol.. but its good to try! Haha!~

Went Jurong East eat with my father and 2 sisters, omg the place, food damn lousy. The lousiest curry fish head i ever ate! Then the egg also too thick n not tt nice =\ Next time wun ever go there eat! Still expecting a gd curry fish head 1 lorz.. Kept worrying bout my injured wrist, how am i going to drive car, test, and motorbike tml.. Applied some Tie Da Jiu over it and rub abit, wore a wrist guard and hope it would get better the next day.

13th Dec, Tuesday. Woke up at 7am. OMg so late! SOoooOoo happy can wake up so late lol.. Cause normaly 0520-0530 wake up for bike course at bedok = =.. Sister fetce me to bbdc, and had my lesson. Was quite careless bout some parts, din notice some things, the instrutor said not tt gd, but still got chance to pass =\ I wished my 1st tester is good! Even this instructor also say Christ(my 1st tester), i get him cfm fail. Luckily~! The warm up at 10pm, test at 11pm.. Result = I PASSED!! Lol.. 18pts, juz right to pass hahaz.. This tester is alright, giv me abit stress but quite friendly ( maybe becoz im VERY friendly to him). But he is very strict about the things i did! No giv chance at all 1 lol.. Starting starting he got praise abit, ask who my 1st tester, and i said so. He say if im good cfm can pass 1. But later got some jam up in the circuit he told me to right turn, i assumed =( the car is moving forward and the space is enough for me to go, but... the car stopped halfway and half my car was left outside = =.. Then he say like that -6pts already.. And say actually can instant fail me 1 = =.. omg sia.. Then parallel parking reverse ending got 1 time gear change wrong = =.. i dun make tis type of mistake! Den drive on the road. Got 6 more pts is becoz right turn and need change lane(stupid rule for us) to extreme left. The bus was moving so slow.. so i break abit let it pass and go over, but he wrote something down! Failure to keep a safety distance.. My speed too fast.. Then 4 pts on failure to check rear mirror =\ Luckily pass jiu hao. Got ppl strike kerb and tester duno 1 lor.. tot is tree branch.. lol..

Did all the procedures for license. Very mafan. The In-charge at bike course keep calling to hurry me back etc.. Got back and attend lecture on TSP and talked bout it abit, then got RT 5-7pm to drive, learn to do figure of 8. Not that gd lahz.. Partly scared i injured my right wrist. After that went to Gombak again to see Tie Da Yi Shen bout my wrist, pushed back the abit protruding bone, alot restriction again. Then had dinner wif js at the Malay/Indian place. Prata was quite nice. Murtabak =\ mutton was little, and the otar.. Wah PUI sia, wat prawn and crab.. INEDIBLE!! pui pui! Fish was alright though = =.. Then came back home~

**License = happiness**
--jiaqian-->

voom voom~ bike

2005-12-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

hoho.. in regards to yesterday, 2 more ppl wished me happy birthday later on in the night.. thx mingrui, thx eve ^_^ at home use comp mood alot better haaz~

ok for today, 8th Dec thursday, woot the date near my birthday ez rem hahaz.. today had bike course again.. 2nd day. But today different. We had theory lesson in the morning, which was SUPER dry, what kept me awake was doing the assessment while the person is teaching. Simple, but alot things forgotten. But the next wk test shldn't be a problem.

Afternoon after lunch, we had our bike lesson. The sun is fucking so big.. SO heaty, so hot.. Sweat all over.. = =.. Went up the slope and go down without starting the engine and break at the start. Later same but make a U-turn. Different feeling as this 1 is so much super heavier. 120+kg.. Later on hands on to go on gear 1, break and stop and balance properly etc.. The later on part we had to change gears while we move. Almost same as cars, just that the hands and legs is all totally different. Alright quite fun, except the super hot weather, and the smelly + lousy helmet. The metal is rusty too! -.-.. Some ppl fell, got 1 of my frn go into the drain... Luckily im good =x No lahz, some things not perfect as well, juz started only.. But its a good start. We dragged until 7pm as they wanna make up lesson in case future rain. So got home quite late. Oh nv come home, father fetched me over at jurong pt, and me, my 2 sisters and my father went to had dinner over at somewhere near the indoor stadium. Im really so tired o_O sleeping while standing in mrt, and slept straight away in the car. The porridge and etc was nice, but dun worth the $ ba.. too exp.. The place is beautiful as well! Very nice and romantic haha.. Who wanna go there together =x

Hmm.. juz washed clothes, awaiting it to be done.. or else tml no more long 4 to wear =\ tired.. 5+ wake up tml again.. haiz.. Today nearly late becoz cant get up, luckily my father woke up and call me. Zzz all cause of yesterday midnight sisters quarrel til like wanna tear down hse, den one of them ran out. One call me and asked me to call her to ask where she but din pick up phone. Later on late late in midnight, awoken by my elder sister frn, ask me to go out bring them back.. raining heavily, and so late in the night.. Wtf sia.. i need to wake up so early, they dun think... haiz..

tired...
--jiaqian-->

my birthday today..

2005-12-07T20:15:00.000+08:00

long time nv post.. partly due to no time, and partly due to no ppl see and i wun read back anyway.. but long time nv write write lorz.. agreed already =
hmmz.. stopped at after bmt, after bmt i got posted to Sispec. Well overall the life there is still alright. The 1st and 2nd week we already finished our IPPT and maybe SOC as well. Totally never train and the result was taken, quite unfair. The rest of the course was very busy as well. Most of the go outfield, learning new weapons, demolitions etc. Wasn't supposed to release the info. Well, starting don't know new section mates well so not that good, but later on find out that they are extremely nice and friendly people. Now POP le, also sort of miss them ba. But i still prefer my BMT frns, as they play bball, games, go out etc together. We enjoyed and suffered together.

Some major events such as nut cracker and grandslam in Sispec is unforgettable. That tiredness, that shackness, stoning just to wait for time to pass. Fire trench was the killer, at first I thought after dig finish can help out others, but still need to do FOPK. Totally no mood and morale so low. 2nd night rained and jumped inside fire trench to sleep. So squeezy and small. Helmet dropped on the floor and is full of soil. Early in the morning "BOOM"! Enemy Arty attack, need to run here n there, climb in and out, jump up and down with my rooted body. Low morale, strapped my helmet wif the feeling of soil. Defintely not pleasant i could say.

Missed the last 28km route march due to 4 days policy. Couldn't even slp in the night, forced to talk to Staff, and ask him alot of questions. That last day was extremely annoying, didn't participate in watever wat parade, kept changing long fall, smart fall, admin atire because of lousy instructions. Posting was out! I got chosen into MIB, which stands for Military Intelligence Battalion. Its like I knew I would get chosen so not that surprised, doesn't feel happy or sad or anything. Parted with them, sad.. definetly. I felt so lonely again, the only one posted to Pasir Laba Camp. The only part that made me happy is PLC is near my house.

New unit, new faces. We, the 12 commanders seemed so far apart. Some of them knew each other already, left out again. Declared phone outside the camp, so no Hp to use, felt so extremely restless, nothing to do, cant book out, sit on bed stare into blank. Oh god.. Luckily 2nd day they let us book out after our IPPT test. 2.4km left abit to get gold again, fucked up.. 9.46mins wtf.. and return on thursday just to go to CMPB to cheer our battalion people for Twins Tower challenge. Took own transport out and went back in the night to prepare for the following day SOC. Luckily passing time is 10mins for 1st yr, and i made it with 9.41mins. Not used to the gun and track etc. Booked out and stay in for tml 3rd Dec Guard duty. 24hrs shift is super boring.

Booked out on sunday and went to play bball straight. Enjoyed playing bball so much! Saw mingrui at the macdonalds and later on Chew Li at Lot1. Wow.. long time nv see familiar faces. Didn't notice them at first haha. Dine at Chinese Thai restaurant, the curry fish head was nice and very spicy. 5th Dec Monday, went out to meet lok to watch Zathura (Very nice and very thrilling!), and had swenson. The food wasn't worth the $ i could say. Later on walked abit to see some lightings, not that impressive. But some Aeriel Photo taken was very nice and impressive. 6th Dec, went to my bike course briefing in the afternoon and went out to eat wif my family at Bottle Tree Village. The food there is damn nice and fresh.

Today is my birthday~ 7thDec. So totally disappointed. A simple greeting seemed so hard. The first happy birthday was by Endra, attachment friend, who wasn't very close to me and i didn't tell him its my birthday. And what..? I go around and telling people today my birthday and oh oh.. 1 MIB frn, and poly frn at the bike course area wished me happy birthday. Maybe i see too heavy in this greeting, but it does mean alot even though its only 2 words. Oh yea, nv had made me felt so low? 3pm+ then say later on dinner etc cancelled? Wtf i saved the DAY my birthday for? For someone who juz cancel it and treat it as nth? Oh thx alot man. I could had planned it with others who will be willing to celebrate, or I WOULDN'T ask my family to celebrate on the eve because the day was fixed. 2hrs left to release from course and expect me to find ppl? No way and never. You get it, you break it. Totally fucked up. One of my worst birthday. That's why i'll never be happy. Oh yea, thx to Shujuan to wish me happy birthday when i reached home. Appreciate it alot.

Happy Birthday to myself!
--Jiaqian-->

pop lo~

2005-09-09T22:36:00.000+08:00

well.. alot of things happened in camp as usual.. but im getting so bz that i dun even have time to write the diary, so i missed out alot of stuffs. Ok let's talk about POP day, 7th september. Well in the morning we had our SOC test. But i cant join, i said i cannot go for parade but wanted to join SOC, but Lieutanent Salim dun allow me to go SOC as well. Well, sad of coz.. i wanted to do it so much.. full run down, nv tried before, somemore with my platoon mates. Felt so left out and useless watching them run. Before going to the parade square i did something very spectacular, i dropped my RIFLE infront of all the officers, Sergeants and platoon sergeants, and Sergeant MAJOR! In front of whole company too.. as im returning the lock cutter and wearing my helmet, i forgot to take gd care of the rifle. Got pumped infront of the whole company immediately. Sad.. and fucked up. Later on i JOINED the parade! Why? Cause everyone doing it and say i shld do it too, i felt so too, so i bear with the pain and did it. Everything was very successful, the march in, march out, re-entry, all those hormat senjata, julang senjata, rushou senjata and turong senjata. Later on we sand Infantry song and Stand up for Singapore, and did the Infantry roar in success.
Next those parents and lovers of respective soldiers came down to help their sons and lovers to put on jockey cap, take pictures, talk talk and laugh laugh. While some ppl whom parents or watever nv came juz stand down there like an idiot and stare into blank. Felt quite sad, so i really recommend u guys out there to pursuade ur parents to come to the parade, seriously. Some examples are ryan, jun kuan, wee hiong, yin chuan, han wee, yow cheng, aviel, fredrick, and others, but i juz rem these. This is still alright, i and some other guys were juz trying hard to hold our tears, every and each emotion juz flow into ur heart and u can really cry, but i took some deep breathes, look into the sky and try to keep my mind blank.
The worst part is during the throwing of jockey caps into the sky. At that moment, really! You can only feel it once, and so happy that you finally pop, and at the same time felt very sad, as we, our platoon ppl got so closed and the bonding is there, and we need to part and there will not be much chance for us to gather arnd next time. So felt really very sad, as im a very emotional person, but still, i hold my tears and juz congrats everyone arnd. Fredrick couldn't take it and he really cried, his eyes and nose were red, so obvious. We juz hugged arnd and play arnd wif sergeants and sir salim. Its really very memorable in my life. Aviel eyes were red as well, but he dun admit that he cried. Me, han wee, ryan and yin chuan were also trying hard not to cry~ I felt crying im so weak. =Departing is hard as it is filled with ppl all arnd. I got back home at 8.15pm, so definetly not going for the sushi buffet at dunno wat hotel le. Alot of things to do as well.

Thursday, 8th September, well, i had driving practice in the morning and it turned out quite fine though i nv drove for 3mths. Then i went to gombak there and tried to find the place i usually went to twist my ankle etc, but after walking for many rnds, i cant find it so i went to a small place and had him twist my left ankle and right knee. I seriously don't find it effective at all! fucked up.. waste my $40. Next went to clementi to find my platoon ppl to go to Nickolas Mah place to have bbq. Reach there so empty, and there's not much food at the end, need wait very long too.
So a grp of arnd 10 of us went to play bball, with jun kuan fetching us! So shoik. Quite a number of ppl are very gd at bball! Really surprised me. Cheng hui and Chang Wei were quite too, hua qiang, fredrick, sergeant toh, cant rem le, yin chuan is very fast too, out of my expectation. Well, some tragetic thing happened to me later on. My head bleed like hell after crushing wif yin chuan. I stealed xin zhong ball and swing it backward, turn and went for ball, yin chuan also came for it and BANG! His specs cut my head and we both in deep pain. I only realised i bleed alot after they say im bleeding. My whole hand is red colour, half of the face covered with blood as well. Sergeant toh and ppl helped me wiped off the blood and stopped the bleeding for gushing out. Don't really feel dizzy, but head abit of pain. Nearly got into a car accident when we are going out of the place. A car is tailgating another car too near and we nearly crashed wif the car. That will make a double happiness! Later on we went back Nick place and had some food. Bbq time over, we went to bukit timah there had supper. Oh jimmy send her gf home 1st and we got lost arnd the area for quite long. I had mee-tabak..? something like that and we ordered stingray as well, quite alright, but they say the roti prata and the curry cmi.. luckily i nv ordered that. Roti john costs them $5 as well, so exp. But well, we had fun talking and eat etc. Thx for all the concerns bout my head and my steps, wondered is the loss of blood taking effect or jeremy phua liquor taking effect =\ Oh yea, jun kuan was nice to send me home later on, very touched! Honest!~ Made my sense of getting license and a car much much more stronger. Tml will be my driving test!

Friday, 9th SeptemberToday is quite fucked up as well, I attended driving practice in the morning as well, and the instructor said my skills and such are quite ok already. But when i had my driving test, the instructor face wrote "I am here to fail u". He sounded so impatient etc and get me out of the room, take his own sweet time to come to the car, and so impatient wanting me to drive off. He also give me alot of hard ways to cross in the circuit, want me keep left and sudden right turn and change lane and turn again. Trying to mess me up, but luckily i cope wif it quite well although i also quite gan jiong becoz he keep hurry me and mess my mood up. The worst part is when driving out, he turned my steering wheel and say i nearly crashed into the gate. Obviously i wun crash into it, im not the first time driving and i noe where im going! Fucked up, im juz abit nearer to the gate and i already turned steering wheel out already loh.. very cb.. then at that moment i knew i failed. He asked me to turn out and the path is not the intended test path. He just asked me turn 1 rnd and go back nia lor.. ccb.. and there's a traffic light which turn red very fast. All the cars move quite slow, and i also slowly move, but later he say when i saw the front car brake lights were on and i nv slow down.. fuck it.. i did! or else i would bang into the cars!? He is really there to fail me! Later on he also accumulate all my blind spots marks at the room. When i came back to bbdc and ok that's really my fault cause im really low in mood. One pedestrain went to cross very far away and i drive over, he gave me another immediate failure. Doesn't really matter as i already failed. 2immediate fail, and 30 demerit pts.. siao.. Later felt so low, went to had lunch wif jz and js at woodlands there. Ate Yoshinoya. After that, went to play lan with some of the platoon ppl at katong shopping centre there. Played til evening to night time and we went to had dinner, ate katong laksa, which i felt quite normal. Father came to fetch me at paya lebar, but quarrelled like mad wif my sis and argued alot wif my father as well, for wat reason? My batt left 1 bar, and my sister keep calling me to ask where am i. They got their view i had my view. They are afraid i got lost, n nv gave me a specific place to fetch me up, and i don't know where i will stop at. The number of calls made me very frustrated, act like i don't want to be fast, ask the bus fly? ask me become satelite know where they are? ask me zoom over there immediately? I need to find the place as well, under the mrt is the only clue. I need to turn a very big rnd to get over there at the end. And i know they cant park or stop over there, because the traffic is very heavy, and they cant stop or park the car, they might get banged behind anytime at the place they stop. They say i don't listen to them, my attitude is bad, and they really didn't give me a specific location, and keep ask me where me. Tell them i on the road? walking towards mrt also scold me say not there, abit unreasonable. Act like they really hear me out. Give them my stand and how could they not be frustrated. Sigh.. i really don't wish to talk to them, and i really couldn't maintain a relationship well wif any1. Maybe its juz my fault.. Really felt so sad.

*im really quite useless and don't mind not be part of this world, nobody would really care*
--jiaqian-->

field camp over!

2005-08-20T00:32:00.000+08:00

wow.. long since i posted.. been very busy since army life. Army people time is indeed very precious. Time spent outside really disappeared in the blink of an eye. You didn't even know what happened and your be inside again. Hmm.. did i mentioned that my pc asked us to keep a note book for each day we did? Everyday there's quite alot to mention.

For the field camp its actually quite memorable. The first day i went field camp and felt that the FBO is so heavy! We must march 8km with it on.. tiring.. 20kg on ur shoulders =) Well i scared that i really will grew thinner if i come field camp, cause alot of people really grew thinner. The combat rations are really not that nice, but some are really nice, and actually they are edible, but some people just cannot take the smell of certain food.

Well, we build the basha and some places are really very uncomfortable, with rocks and sand and holes and uneven ground. and i got guard duty 3x in the field camp! Once due to misfire and got 2 guard duty. First day was regimental. Sigh.. everyday not enough sleep. Field camp is really about dirty, no time to clean up, sit on soil, slp on soil, pee on grasses (got specific location), pumping on mud, prone in soil. Mosquitoes, insects, everything. Shit also must dig hole and cover it yourself. Luckily my 2nd and 3rd time my friend shit is alot more smellier i guess, attrach all the flies and i can shit in peace.. opps =x

Quite exhausting is continuous events. Such as crossing danger area, Sudden attack, fire movement, grenade, charge, grenade again (wtf!), CHarrggeee.. GRenade again! (wtfff!!) chargeeEeeeEE.. ice, spider, ice, orange, oops.. sniper, halfway grenade again! RT! RT! RT! den grenade.. and ambush.. arghh.. It sounds rather stupid and confusing, but well, its tiring and that's enough =\ Oh yea, one of the days there's rain as well and i need to prone inside the soft soil and muddy water to leopard crawl.. argh.. so...

No bathing for 7 days except for powder bath, as well as some buffet for mosquitoes. Wild boar/Rat experience from my section mates, Platoon movement, etc.. Trench digging! Its so super tiring, partly due to my place was full of what.. Solid roots which requirement 4-5 chops to get 1 medium root gone, and there's like 128905 roots, and what!? SOLID red stone!? People hit the soil sounded tud, tud, my is clang, clang.. metal hit rock! 1 chop abit abit..Argh.dig til my spine and hands still pain.. and.. OMG.. dig halfway RAIN SUPER HEAVY, everything is wet and soaked in mud. Ground shit = shit use. And oh yes, slp in the muddy soil!

Last day is clering the BIC, battle innoculation course! Leopard craw on the sand, back crawl below barbed wire,leopard craw, back crawl, leopard crawl.. although for a mere 50m, but its tiring like mad, and crawl inside trench and throw grenade and crawl out chargeeee!! Well tiring but quite fun.. but.. everything condition is actually quite bad.. all filled with sand, some torn, everywhere blue black, some ppl even scratched their elbow skin off, coz of friction of sand, some watches spoilt, we look like seasoned soldiers!

Well.. 2wks+ more to POP.. looking forward to it!~ Wondering what unit will i be posted to as well~ Wish me luck yea..

--jiaqian-->

army!

2005-07-30T17:18:00.000+08:00

Its been very long since i last blogged. There's so much things happening in army. Each day there's so much to talk about. If i were to list down everything, i don't think 1 day will be enough =) I need to get used to slp at 10.30pm and wake up at arnd 5-5:15am schedule. Morning is never so long to me. Normally i skip morning, but in army by noon, i already did tons of stuffs. Its hard to adapt at the start though, but i admit i already get used to it.

Thinking of 1st day its like hell moving the stuffs to the 5th floor, and we already started our excercise, pull-ups before every meal. Though now its not that frequent, but sometimes when I have the time, i will still go and do all the chin-ups.

Everything is so new, smart 4, long 4, vest and slack, admin attire, PT attire. Learning how to draw and send arms, how to march properly and receive SAF core value book. Learning how to tie the boots, put the net and tie it on the helmet, how to make and adjust the SBO, those area cleaning. The commands in Malay are very hard as well, but managed to cope as there's npcc and ncc guys in the platoon as well. Learning how to clean our rifle, how to take care of own stuffs, how to shoot properly and accurately at various positions at the IMT (simulator). Coming Monday will be our life range and we get to slp for less than 4hours. Learning to pack our field pack stuffs for our coming field camp. Getting used to climb from 1st-5th floor at least 5 times each day, sometimes with those heavy equiptments. All those tiring warm ups, IPPT, speed training, strength training. Were taught how to overcome the 11 obstacles in SOC. Learning how to read people, get along with people, those garang and wayang people, basically there's all types of people in there. The experience is like totally different! Sometimes will be tough on the training, but its fun after that, and all those craps and things we did together. Oh yeah, and those ghost experience and stories heard. It really do exist and everything match.

Now i can understand how come my Platoon Commander can talk for so long and so much. Because you really do experience alot of things, learn alot of new stuffs. Other than im sick in camp, basically i like it there, as its a totally different experience. I guess the main reason i wanted to become a commander as well is because i wanted to experience and know more things, although i know it will be tough.

Tommorrow will be my book in day again. Book out day is always happy and book in day is always boring! I need to cure my serious cough, blocked ear, serious flu, so that i can be more alive again! Starting from the 2nd week, my PC want us to write a diary everyday to keep track about what we did. I think that's a pretty good idea, though there's aren't much time for us to write. Too bad he will be going to clear his leaves and going to ORD after our life range. =( His rank/name is 2nd lieutenant salim! Going to be 1st lieutenant next week

--jiaqian-->

BAD MOOD

2005-07-07T22:29:00.000+08:00

argh.. tis wk is a total crap. Never been happy for 1 day, or 1 moment be4.. Nice start of the week to ns. Hurray! tmd..

dear is sick for this week, then so cold to me. Yes, if u din notice, nv did msg me 1st, don't talk much.. k i understand tis. ARgh.. nvm..

Im still some1 who keep everything inside my heart. What am i? A person who need to endure everyone scolding and shouting, and i NEED to stay there and remain silence? Fark this.
I quarrel back my father say im very bad.
I shout back my sisters say i always shout and my manners is very bad.
Im quiet my frns say im dao and angry.
I talk ppl say me lame and wu liao.
I move about ppl say i monkey.
I play afool ppl say i childish.
Im serious nobody trust me.
I need help ppl say im troublesome and last min.
I need company nobody is there.
I need understanding and got ignored.

There's too much things that issn't my way, but i still laughed and smiled it through. I tried not to take everything seriously so that its nth but a pinch. But im juz now some1 who can take everything easy. I'll make everything to make ppl i like feel the best, make ppl happy, make ppl satisfied no matter how bad situation im in. I just don't like to see ppl around me have a sad face. And everything i did is always taken for granted. Im just nth but a toy. A puppet yes. And yes, nobody ever think of what and how i feel, they just do it their own way, and im supposed to support them. But when i really need help and support and comfort, there's NONE out there. I have an understanding heart to make ppl pierce it. I have a strong body not to harm ppl but to protect ppl. I have a mind to think bout others but nobody really try to understand me.

I did everything on myself to make me feel better, and really.. i dun think there will be ever a person will be close to me. Having a distance is always better.

Eh and yes.. i juz CRIED.. i have a weak heart.. easily broken

K.. for today.. Bought some present and wrote some note to my special 1, and din get a gd response, and the feeling is like not there. And family alot problems make me feel really angry and fed up. Every1 juz blame me, and nv think whether whose problem is it. Every1 have faults they blame me, i have problems nobody share the burden and continue to blame me.. Wat the hell wrong had i did to get this type of life?

Nvm this will be the last blog be4 i go army.

--jiaqian-->

which pokemon am i~

2005-07-05T13:52:00.000+08:00

which pokemon are you!~

9: Blastoise - A brutal Pokemon with pressurized
water jets on its shell. They are used for high
speed tackles.

Of the Original 150, Which Pokemon Are You?
brought to you by
http://quizilla.com/users/OGLoc/quizzes/Of%20the%20Original%20150,%20Which%20Pokemon%20Are%20You?/ try it ^^

--jiaqian-->

woot..

2005-07-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

This week is gonna be a very long post.. But i'll try to cut it short =x.. To prevent hurting ppl eyes. Sry ar~ Ok let's start from monday. 27th June Monday. Hmmz.. Went to watch batman returns with wy. Don't quite remember but its not bad ba~ Arh.. don't quite remember what happened.

28th June Tuesday.. or 29th June Wednesday.. I forget either day le.. Only rem one day went to eat Sushi. Took train wif wy wanting go there walk walk 1st. But Jz called me when im at JE mrt, he and his gf at clementi! Omg so qiao sia.. So they board the train with us. They are searching for rental of house. Search very long sia.. =( Then we went walk arnd cityhall abit, and stayed at BK while waiting for js to arrive. He came abit late but he said so le so nvm.. Then we set off to funan there, Sushi buffet again~ Abit rain. Hmmz.. this time can take my time eat. Very nice and think i tried almost every type ba~ Enjoyed it alot. Especially with those sec sch buddies.. very long nv come out le. Eat til woot~ bao bao~ Very nice hehehe~ Went to meet js gf at citylink there. Her colleague is there also and dunno their relationship.. so is like a big sun ya.. very bright lor.. haha =x After buying a present for dunno who then we go back le. Kapo monkey wor~ i got the hp accessory and a soft toy of it. Then we take the train go back le. Js, jz and their gf alighted at je to change train and i send wy home and went back~

30th June Thursday.. Woke up very late as usual. Do the usual things, buy + eat lunch, watch anime and play comp. Then at evening went to wy place to play bball. But the Jurong spring CC fulled with ppl + her frns not there so she dun1.. go near her hse de, got ppl kick soccer, then went to a quite deserted court. Halfcourt free~ so play at there lor~ Then like tt lorz.. hoho~ took 3 video clips. Got 1 i do layup.. Wah so nice sia lol~ BHB sia me haha.. but the ball nv go in haha =x nvm lahz~ ren you shi wu. But but really very nice de wor =\ Hmmz.. den send her home and went back~

1st July Friday.. Ermz.. went jp to bring wy to my hse to watch naruto and bleach 1-4.. 5-12 at sj there~~ Then play the Uno Stacko awhile.. Then oops.. late! 7++ le.. So faster get rdy and went to bt batok meet her frn.. Wing.. Same as her = =.. Hmz... den buy some bread from breadtalk and take 189 to west coast. If take from clementi even faster sia =\ nvm.. now noe le =D Went to climb the spider web, and other other things.. cant get to the beach there.. All fenced up.. So sad =( Saw some boats behind the fence. nvm.. play with those sands lorz.. Then.. very fun lahz~ after that went Mac to get some drink and went home.. Usual path =\ Oh yea.. hl is waitiing for me near my hse.. at the playgound there. I took the last bus.. NEW bus.. den alight at a bus stop.. abit far from my hse.. Then jog and ran back to my home.. Tiring man.. Woke hl up from the playground and return home. Then we played and talked bout some guild war and other stuffs. Took turns to play hahaz.. In the end i played to 8am.. omg.. VERY TIRED..

Lol js wanna play bball at 10am at my place here but woke up at 9.30 like tt msg me but din hear it.. Called me later on and i say too tired dun1 lol.. anyway he came my house 1st. I finally get my lazy ass off the bed at 12pm+.. Prepare abit and ask them set off for KFC den kbox. KFC our favourite lehz ^^ We like alot of same things ^^ Met Wy and Wing at JE Popular. Hoho.. i lied about the all students =p Showed only 3 student pass, hl and js went toilet haha.. Cheaper ^_^ We went in at 2.30pm++ abit lan fei qian.. but nvm.. 5hrs nehz ^^ very fun keke.. But starting every1 so eh.. shy and dead dead.. cause duno each other. Oh yea.. cause the mic something wrong too.. Then later jiu better le..

Hoho.. after the ktv.. ehz~ we went to play bball~~ But i wearing a shoe that cannot run, wearing long pants that cannot jump and stretch, wearing shirt that dun1 it to dirty.. lol.. Alighted at ehz.. dunno wat CC and realised wy frns is at JurongSpring CC.. So went there play lor~ Walked over and wahzzz alot ppl sia~ Played alot of rounds and although quite uncomfortable, but still VERY fun~ hoho i juz love bball~ But there's one CB kia.. make everybody there dun like him lor.. Keep elbow ppl, kick ppl.. = =.. kns.. Not gd also.. Argh.. hate it..! Every1 complaining bout him, and ask me relax hahaz.. Neway, there's alot of friendly guys lorz.. Some is quite familiar ba.. And talked to alot of ppl!!~ Im so friendly keke~ Cause i gd too~~ opps.. Bhb again = =.. And quite surprised alot of ppl say i look very familiar. Some i think they familiar too.. Keke.. im quite famous nehz.. although i dun play much =D Happy happy~ My existence is proven! Sometimes i play diff places, maybe giv them some memories.. of how gd i am~~~ kekeke.. Soon cannot bhb and hao lian le.. =( Budden is really very happy lor~~ But i injured my right toe.. Someone stepped on my shoe and shoe came off, i ended up landing at my toe when i land.. Then after that chasing 1 ball hl jump and stepped on my toe.. Painful sia.. But winning a game and enjoying is much more impt then an injured toe so i nv care abt it =x.. Not a gd habit? Some1 skill very gd, jump very high too sprain his ankle =( he's same as me.. play bball til ankle loose le.. Very sad.. So so.. later jiu come back le~~ VERY VERY FUN~~ yay~ Havn't eat dinner yet.. so hungry =( Oh yea.. i did something very stupid be4 i go off.. I took off my shirt and play bball.. Then when im going off i took my wallet, hp and keys and waved and said gd bye to every1.. forgot i havn't wear shirt.. lol.. Then David (wy gang frn) ask me i want go back like tt ar.. I huh and oops realised.. Then all broke into laughter = =.. Lol i so 4getful sia =( then wear shirt halfway cant c floor hl called me i turned back and kicked on a cup of drink! omg.. sad.. =( me only agile at bball.. other then that so blur sia.. haha.. Oh yea.. got 1 match lose til so bu gan yan.. shldn't lost, but i think my skill issn't gd enough to receive the ball.. nvm.. haiz..

--jiaqian-->

anl chalet~

2005-06-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

Well, just came back from ANL chalet that started on Friday. 24th June. In the end i board the train travelling alone from Boon Lay to Pasir Ris.. 1st to last stop.. Its hell man lol.. But while im on the train, i thought about something! Omg i already lost my temper. Not that im angry.. but i don't feel anger anymore. Since when, do i take everything so light, so easy. Everything to me now is like.. if things dun go in the way u do, what can you do? In the past and in most ppl mind they will turn angry etc, but my reaction now is.. k things dun go ur way den dun go ur way, there's no point being angry over it. Like the bus take very long to come, you angry the bus also wun come faster. Your late but ur on the way, there's no point thinking shit.. im late etc.. will juz hurry the footsteps. Maybe its a gd thing, but its lacking of some spices in life. In the past my temper is really so bad, now its.. no feeling.

Well, reached Pasir Ris and met ANLs at the fc there as they are having their dinner. 7+pm i think. There's Darren, Endra, Hayden, CheeSeng, Rachel, Stephanie, Candy, Angelica there. After that went to the supermarket to buy stuffs for the chalet. Jingli reached as we're buying. Carried the drinks and took bus 384 to there i think. Vincent and Cora is at there. Unpacked everything etc. Hmmz.. played some stuffs and poker. Darren, Endra and me went to explore abit, see whether is there anything fun~ Jacqueline arrived later on. Ermz.. talk play til midnight and Darren tried to do some surprise for Jasmine, but failed cause the redbeans are not cooked enough. So wanted to boil it longer, but he received msg from Jasmine saying that she cant make it for the following day bbq as she is sick. Lol.. Darren is so sad lor.. then we went to the beach there and talked. Talked alot of things, bout his past gfs stuffs etc and alot arh.. Some cases quite similar~ Then plans and prediction of Jasmine stuffs etc~ lol.. Its ok, no need to mention it now. Went back and cont talk have fun etc.

Hayden drank too much liquor and got drank lol..!!! Doing embarrassing things that he cant rem!! Rofl.. like walk out hug the lamp post, den trying to do layup at the doorway and stepped on Stephanie's shoulders. Then care whether she's ok not, but the pose etc is damn awkward and damn funny! lol.. Steph and Rachel were abit drunk too. Hayden also vomited! lol.. Omg the last drink made by Rachel is super strong and Hayden puked immediately when he drank 2-3 mouthfuls. Poor Chee Seng slping halfway kena puke... Hayden dashed out and we helped him etc. Spent alot of time trying to get him into the bathroom. Oh yea.. he puked water on the matress too lol.. luckily its not cotton.. So can wipe away, and he kept appolgoizing.. Haha.. the scenario that day is damn funny.. he went the bath bathroom door and closed the door... The other way! Damn funny lor.. The back door is near bath room door.. He walked to the backdoor and swang the bathroom door to his direction. The action is damn funny.. and he ran out 1 rnd to the front door = =.. as some of us went to search for him.. lol.. oh he wanted to change his pants as it is dirty but Cora is in the toilet. Then the timing is so.. accurate... lol.. he cant open the door and tried to hide behind the fridge to change pants, and Cora just came out of toilet and saw him taking off his pants and her expression is OMG!! Jaws dropped! lol.. Hayden threw his pants to the staircase.. den.. later on also stripped his shirt and throw to the corner. And began to flex and flex.... his.. meat. lol! Cora is like so scared, and we guys trying to get him into bathroom.. but in the end he also din bath.. Later on Endra, Darren and me went to get a little slp.. and the rest talked outside and play wat animal games.

Saturday 25th June. Don't think i managed to slp for 1hr, and Darren is waking me up.. Later on after most of us woke up went to had breakfast/lunch at BK. Oh yea our chalet is UDMC not NTUC. Long time since i came to UDMC. After that.. went to play bball at the Aloha Loyang there.. omg the chalet is damn BIG!! But only Civil workers can rent there. The rim is very low over there, but there's alot alot of ppl. Dunking is so fun!!!~ Power slamming is sweet too hur hur~ DAMN.. din take pic lol!~ or video hai~ lol.. Hayden and Darren wanted to kick soccer wif the ppl there too, so i joined too.. but.. my slippers cant withstand my footsteps.. Receive ball, run 3 steps, brake.. There goes my slippers.. break already.. Wanna play barefooted but cant.. Its very sandy and got some broken glasses and the ground is damn hot. So i subsituted their frn. I cant play soccer too anyway. Oh yea.. my left hand finger, and the veins at eh.. how say.. between arm and palm de place... is injured quite badly from the previous dunking. Too hard and kena strain tio.

Went back after playing it, and thx Endra for the ice cream treat!~ :D Thx Jingli for helping me hold hp too~ Went back chalet and some ppl went for roller blading. While me and darren had our free kbox lol.. Playing songs from his mp3 player and singing out loud.. Fun lol.. Started fire with Eugene later on. 2 pits~ Some cleaner asked me to get the... dunno how say..the stell thing at drain there to put below the aluminium pit, so that it wun get burn. Thx ar~ Woo.. our fire starting is cool.. very successful. Then took those things our and arranged etc~ Darren performed some tricks too.. Very nice~ the hotdogs cut into half and slice a cross there.. Very fast cooked and easy to spot whether its cook not.. Taste nice too~ He's a chef last time man! And cooked alot of things for his Exs too.. A good cook is very gd~ Wished im 1 too. Hmm.. den walk here there cook abit and talk drink etc~ Its very fun, seldom enjoyed this much. Bbq-ed for quite long, and my back is so pain sia.. But nvm~! Cause cause.. i kena praise nehz~! Meiyin say mm very nice, ur a good cook! haha.. and alot of ppl also say i cook nice.. maybe im talented in this area hahaz.. Everytime bbq those food ppl say nice de nehz~! Muz try it hahaz.. Especially the chicken chop woo! Tasted it myself too, omg so nice haha. Mingyong also say very nice nehz =x A kid also very funny over there, Hayden and Darren also taught him those weird things lol.. Pole dance.. Was very full too, actually i dun feel i eat alot. Think its the reason Darren said, when u cook long den the smoke will make u feel full. Well well, i enjoy bbq-ing food alot! Thx Steph and Rachel for mixing those drinks too~Very nice. Thx Jingli for messaging my back awhile~ thx thx.. Then.. Endra, Darren, Jingli, Minyong and me went to ride bicycle for awhile. And im so fated to ride that bike! 11 Bicycles and i say i wanted this and anyhow get a key for the lock.. and it turned out to be the lock for that bicycle! Borrowed Rachel slippers.. but din wear in the end too as my slippers is spoilt. Hang it at the brake handle and keep on need to U-turn back to pick up the slippers =\ Jingli sat on Darren's bicycle as she's not very gd in riding and very scared. Came back after a round ride. Oh yea.. idiot Wy frn frn.. disturb her and her sis = =... Show wat naked pics in his phone and wanting to borrow her phone.. Kns..

Alot ppl went off and we cleared up. Sang birthday song and celebrated the birthday of Rachel, Darren, Hayden and Chee Seng. But only Darren and Rachel birthday is tt day lahz.. 12am. After that, we 12 ppl 11 bicycles Set off to withdraw some $ and went to fish prawns!~ Cora dunno how to ride bicycle so rented 2 person bicycle previously with Vincent. Got who hmm.. Cora, Vincent, Hayden, Stephanie, Candy, Junyao, Darren, Chee Seng, Kok pun, Eugene, Rachel and me. The prawn's fishing part.. its nice man.. before we set off im like half dead.. so tired! And at the start nobody got any prawns all so dead. And i went off to ride awhile.. bored. When i came back Rachel got the 1st prawn! Omg.. every1 was so rejuvetalised! (dunno how spell..) Then soon, candy got the prawn and Rachel helped her pulled up. Eugene got the 3rd 1~! OMG..! Darren caught the 4th.. Luckily i watched and asked them how take the prawn out previously! But i dun really get it and the prawn 2 STRONG LEGS grabbed my fingers. And i really mean strong lor! We only get 4 poles so dun really get alot of time to fish. Steph prawn is the most funny.. use hand = =.. A little boy tell her: See there? So many prawns, can use hand catch 1. Then steph ask him y nv catch himself.. He say he's scared lol.. Steph say she scared too.. Then really go catch.. by the wiskers lol.. The person there say cannot use hand lol. Soon darren caught another 1 and i get the pole from him and he teach me how to get prawns.. Omg~~ its very fun lor!! I got 1 prawn wor keke.. Muz be VERY observant. When the float tilt den muz pull up abit den pull pull~! Damn sweet~! Now every1 were like saying and feeling to catch prawns some other days. Me too!~ I want! All so excited over it.

Went back chalet and they started the fire again, and i watched Steph and her frn who joined us juz now at the fishing place plucking away the prawn legs and poking it through the stick. Her name is xiao qian (4th sound). Ouch lor the prawns hahaz.. we keep do the sound effects steph cannot stand it.. haha.. Steph is gd n brave etc sia.. Then got 1 prawn will to live is damn high! Keep dun wanna die. Then steph ouch.. poke through its head, den no die.. total poke i think 4 times.. den lol. .smack it against the basin.. damn funny haha.. painful too.. argh.. Then they marinated it and bbq-ed the prawns!~ I went to bath~ Later eat and talked etc.. Some ppl went to ride and waited very long for them to come back. When they back we so tired already. Rachel went to slp lol.. I went to slp not long after too.. Finally sia hahaz..

Sunday 26 June. Darren woke me up again.. He slp beside me at duno when lol.. Hmmz.. Then went brush teeth etc.. Then waited for others to get up and went back home~ Darren, Chee Seng and me sat Eugene's car and he followed Rachel's car to Sun Tec there. Shared cab wif Hayden, Stephanie and Candy back home~ This post is extremely long~~ Sorry if cant read so long but nvm~ its really very fun and i seldom enjoyed so much. Msges and phone too~~

*tired*
--jiaqian-->

*added*
Came back home write this blog and chatted on msn. Chat on msn and listen to some songs.. Halfway, DAMN tired walk to room and bong.. fell aslp.. lol.. dun even rem i walk inside and lie on bed.. woke up coz damn hot.. and still so tired... come back infront of comp type afew things and slept on the floor.. and stand up coz father's door opening.. so sleepy man.. hahaz.. Then meet wy at jp at 8pm to eat dinner.. we ate swenson~ i ordered.. black pepper seafood pasta.. alvin's all time favourite! lol.. wy had crayfish pasta.. Hmm.. Later on we ate the black bart desert.. lol put chilli/pepper/salt/tomato sauce.. who lose muz eat oops =x I only lost 1st, but tried all except tomato lol.. dun like tomato sauce. Hmmz, den later walked arnd pasar malam awhile and send her home.. to the cc there borrowed ball from her frns to play abit, den walk her home, den come back~ Poor Darren... lol.. Kena panseh by the Jasmine again tmd.. tis type of gal sarks.. take him for granted.. kns.. He treat her too gd le lahz!! Lending him a listening ear is all i could do, and some advice.. haiz.. Hope he will get the other 1 soon lol~

--jiaqian-->

chalet soon!

2005-06-24T17:34:00.000+08:00

mmz..been enjoying guildwars (cd key borrowed from hl) for the past few days.

I think im suffering from a memory lost and memory lapse. Sometimes when i do something, i thought im in the past, or in the future, and soon after i did something i 4got when i did it. Hmmz.. yea.. Think sunday.. 19th June, went to hl place play bball.. Hmm oh yea!! i played there. Yea very fun coz got alot other ppl though its early in the morning. Who went for it ar.. me, hl, eugene, hl bro and his frn. Yea we did played full court with other ppl. 17 yrs old like that ba. Think they juz graduated from secondary sch, coz one of them is same sch as yl ( hl bro), and he graduated already. That guy is very tall, and quite gd hur hur.. 1man show to us and i did it back ~_~ Then there's the other guy not bad too, and he's a super joker too. We talked throughout the match hahaz.. very friendly guy ba.. but also abit guai lan.. ppl who play bball is like tt = =.. Hmm.. we lost in the end =( 17-21 sobz.. Me no str + 2 kids useless haha oops =x

Went to had lunch at arnd 1pm+ i think.. Eugene went off to watch movies wif his eh... JI frns i think. After that i went to hl hse and read comics and borrowed guid wars from him. Actually deciding to buy not but decided not as it is too exp n not much ppl play it. So nvm, i'll juz play it on his acc~ Then went back home and got some food from cck hawker centre.

Monday 20th June. Mm.... think i play guild wars whole day. Don't really rem.

Tuesday 21st June. KENA PANSEH ON QUEENSTOWN BBALL AGAIN TMD. Then say wat play on thurs.. BULLSHIT! haha.. Budden nvm, went to play bball at jurong east.. eastspring cc i think.. with wingyin and her alot frns.. Got + and - my age. Hai hao ba.. cant play to the fullest wif ppl i dunno well. Hmmz.. there's 1 guy they all and i dunno de.. also quite friendly. Tall and long hands = =.. Used to be very gd in the past. But i nv played him on that day. Hmmz.. ok den play til 10pm+ went back home.

Wednesday 22nd June. Went to watch initial-D wif wy, my sis and her bf. Its free tickets~ omg.. haha. They got the tickets when queuing up to pay for things in ntuc that time dunno when. Movie is at prince cinema. Bugis junction there. Shaw hse. Argh while trying to meet them up VERY frustrating.. My stupid phone dunno suddenly fark up. Cannot call out, cannot send and receive sms, ppl call me also wun respond. Make me on off hp alot of times, and take out batt and sim card etc. Argh.. finally hao le... 30mins !! den sister freaking angry.. As if i like to waste the time. Also din say meet where. Wait at mos burger wtf.. like i noe where they are.. y dun go to mrt wait tmd.. Hmmz.. Reached the cinema there wah sibei alot ppl.. ppl cant even get up the escalator coz ren ji ren til there. The movie alright ba. Jay is very funny in the show. *Flex flex lol* Basically, there's not much storyline. All the while there's only 1 track. After that already 11.30 like tt, need catch up wif last train then cant eat dinner. But still went to the Shell mobile station near my hse there to buy some braised chicken rice ( cook in oven) to eat. Chicken is not bad, but only 2 piece.. wtf.. cheat $ lol.. Then went back chat and phone and slp. Hp bill is bursted.. din noe i talked for so long zz..

Thursday 23rd June. Ermz.. wat i did.. duno. Maybe home whole day. Oh night went out wif father to hospital to visit grandma. Actually i go also no use.. 1stly, my dialect sarks.. cant communicate wif grandma. 2ndly, grandma also dunno who me. 3rdly, she's almost unconcious most of the time. Go there waste my time only. Then visitiing hrs closed and my father and some relatives went to the foodcourt there to drink something and talk bout dunno wat $$ things, and grandma is going to stay at whose hse etc.. All the while im so bored. Cant understand more den 30% what they're saying, so i din try to understand. Then later went back home and played and talked and slp. =p *1st day

Friday 24th June. Hmm.. woke up at 12+ as usual and played n ate lunch. Gotta go out for chalet for anls soon. Hope it'll be fun. Gonna bath ciaoz~

--jiaqian-->

sentosa burn u!

2005-06-16T22:01:00.000+08:00

so long den post~~ but nvm.. no ppl read too.. take all my time~ mmz.. last fri.. 4got wat i did le.. saturday 11st June.. went k-ster wif my 2 sis.. Located at Chinatown there. My cousin husband is the manager there.. so go there try try~ Well.. the tibits there very nice~ lol.. den at 1st we dunno how to select song.. cause they only have those books, den a mouse.. and a controller to control eh.. stop all these de o_O.. den spent alot of time at start to choose song.. later on know that the mouse can be used only ON the mouse pad.. No wonder previously cannot work = =..
Then lasted for 4hrs, and we went to have some porridge.. tian ji zhou! at the porridge place lol.. my sis say very famous de.. den after that we shared cab home, while eldest sis went out choing~

sunday 12nd June... Only rem i went to jog, pull-ups, sit ups, push ups at the evening til very tired..everytime finish work out feel like wanna die like tt.. too tired and exhausted haha

monday 13rd June.. dunno wat i did..

tuesday 14th June, went to sp expecting to play badminton, but turned out to be playing bball.. cause omfg! the badminton court is soooo full.. sp is so full wif ppl..everywhere also alot ppl man.. den bball court also alot ppl, but heng after awhile den got half court gone den we went to play~ hoho.. quite fun~ got me, soonjin, yang long, guo wei, and 1 more of their chess club frn dunno his name.. and a stranger as well.. joined us be4 going to volleyball.. bball is the only thing i felt confident.. but need teammates that i noe and trust me too.. or else low confidence really do everything also sarks.. lower den original standard! But din quite enjoy it cause, eh.. they dun play bball alot~ But can play bball jiu hao le!~ Then later went back to their chess club and chui air-con awhile, and played abit of table tennis! 1st time play! woo.. not bad quite fun hahaz.. but in the end the ping pong ball gone, coz i smacked it and fly out of the window hur hur.. We did went down to find it, but some bo liao ppl took it away le tmd.. Gian bing gian sai! tmd tmd~ den went to eat dinner at fc3 there.. The stall auntie daughter not bad! lol.. but yl say only 14-15 yrs old o_O.. dun look like though hahaz~ After that very late le, den we went back to individual home.

Wednesday 15th June, went to queensway to buy things wif sj and yl. Mmz.. me and sj went there 1st coz yl is late. Then walk walk arnd o_O and sj bought a pair of sandals when yl arrived. He dun have slippers and dun like cause will fall down.. ehh..!! Then later on he bought 1 more shirt.. i had that! And we 3 bought those flower pants lol.. to go to beach the following day de.. and very nice t-shirt with those kinda cover head de from a shop. Oh yea i bought 1 more knee-3/4 pants too~ comfortable.. but very ex manz... zz.. After that went back to jp and father fetched me to NUH.. Grandma 2days ago suddenly dunno wat happen half body cannot move. Then, my father, my 2 sis, and me went to hospital, grandma was aslp. Then father take care of her awhile and went outside to sit down for awhile. More and more people came later on and i felt we're quite noisy hahaz.. Now the topics arnd me is always when army, which camp, and talks bout those.. etc.. alot.. Hmmz.. for the whole 3hrs+ grandma all the way aslp.. Even wake up also 1/2 dream 1/2 awake.. I cant communicate wif her anyway.. my dialect sarks. Then 9.30 finally go off to have dinner.. Omg.. im hungry like mad.. hungry til stomach so pain, cant even stand properly.. need bend to reduce the pain. And, nobody discovered, coz i also dun like show it or say and hide behind..~ Then finally eat at tamah jurong there. Nice nice~ but im still hungry.. so sis helped da bao 1 more hor fun go back eat.. Shldn't ordered it man.. reach home 11+ eat le 12+ and so full... played til 2am+ for it to digest more but still very full.. Then bo bian, slp with a full stomach. Will become fatter de ne! =(

Thursday 16th June, woke up at 8.45am+abit ba.. went prepare and bath etc. SOOOO tired.. its been so long since i woke up at time other den 12+pm.. Nothing do anyway on normal days. Then went out and met they all at Harbourfront mrt station. Reached there exactly the time 10.30, sj was there, and others were late. Very late ba~ Went to had lunch at the hawker centre there. Had a bowl of fishball noodles~ Sj and guowei had Yu pian tang and yu pian zhou, while yl had nasi brani.. looks nicer! Hoho.. What animal is the most cunning? Answer is fish! cause Yu pian(lie) zhou, yu pian mi fen = =.. What animal always fall down? Answer is fox! Cause they are sly! Jiao Hua! In other words, leg slippery. = =.. im lame. Then went for the shuttle bus and set off for sentosa.. Wahz damn lame.. we got no volleyball or football hur hur.. I brought guitar coz sj say he din buy =( Damn heavy and mafan in the whole trip~
Well luckily.. at there can buy volleyball. So we shared $ to buy the volleyball, and later on they got buy frisbee too. Pathetic.. 4 guys down there playing lol.. Play abit volleyball, frisbee, and dodging ball.. still alright lah the day. I got to play my guitar too~ though very lan haha.. And every1 is so burnt! All turned very red.. haha.. My long hair and new plastic black specs shelthered from the sun quite alot, resulting in my upper face white, and lower face very red =\ Sj and gw saw some monkey show at there.. i missed it damn.. The seawater is damn salty.. not that purposely taste, juz dip head abit inside can taste saltiness! and i only washed face with abit water and it hurt the eyes alot! Saw some pretty gals down there hurhur~ yl asked for 1 gal number using my name and failed! lol! But obviously that 1 is older den us @@~ But they keep looking over dunno y o_O Hmmz.. went to bath at arnd 4.30-5pm.. The queue is damn long and some ppl really take their own sweet time bathing.. Even gals can bath faster then them! tmd.. Oh yea~ i only brought extra pants and shirt.. so.. ehh.. something is wet all along lol.. sandy too =(
Hmmz.. den later went back home and bought dinner (curry chicken!~ woot~) and came back home realise got cook = =.. nvm.. additional food. Went to bath (previously juz wash sand away, no shampoo and shower foam etc) and watch tv while eating. Sister ehz.. was eating? and father came back when im about to finish. Din noe he havn't eat = =.. left so little only lor.. Feel so bad =(.. Later on wash up plates and watch superstar and type tis ~_~.. See superstar their all frns noe so much bout them etc. But nobody actually noes me hahaz.. family members noe shit bout me.. Im still so isolated afterall~ and always is. And whose close to me. None too.. They also had alot of ppl always giv them support, but there's none for me~ resulting in always low confidence. Trying to do everything to my best is the only way to prove my existence!

**black-white-black**
--jiaqian-->

woo hoo~

2005-06-09T17:55:00.000+08:00

Saturday 4th June. Today is the celebration for my sister 21st birthday! Happy birthday!~ Her birthday is actually 9th June. But weekend makes it easier for everybody, so she planned it on Saturday. Well, woke up do dunno wat etc.. Then afternoon helped father bring out the tables and chairs from the storeroom. Need remove alot of things in order to carry those things out. Very mafan, and very heavy also haha. Damn lor.. help out also always kena scold, dun help also scold like useless. Oh help out scold like this thing put this place that place, argh 4get abt it. I hate when im helping and get scolded.
Evening time, eugene arrived 1st, den let him play comp, maple sea ( maple story) lol.. his comp got prob cannot play. Then later on hl, js, and jz also arrived. But its not long til i need to go out to buy plastic bowls, while my father buy ice. Then when i came back, elder sister say need to fetch grandma, and asked me to go along, cause the wheelchair is too heavy. K then went there and my sister ask for directions from my 4th uncle daughter, coz they live there. Then keep go wrong place, and took a verryyy loonnng time den reach there. Freaking hell, they last min say need to fetch grandma, cause tot they bringing her over. Dunno wat happened so cannot make it. My sister is damn sotong.. 4get where did she put her car keys and find VERY LONG. later on found it we come back.. its already 8++, nearly 9pm le, father kept calling sister and ask (scold) where is she zz.. my family seldom tok de, always raise voice. = = On the way back sis wanna go fetch her frns, near our hse, but they din even get out of door when we're downstairs tmd.. Then father called again, so she brought us back 1st.
Get down immediately make me unhappy again. That thing in my hse say bring grandma to the gate where my uncles and aunties were. Then i pushed her over abit, my father scold me where u pushing, push her inside lah!! knn... always like that, den that thing say uncles are there so push over, den he SCOLD me again push over there lahz!! tmd farking fed up man. Always like that, so li hai do everything by urself lahz.. dun help also complain tmd..
So paisei my frns juz came over den they at my room and comp waiting me back den can go eat zzz.. Then bring them down eat, they got the food and sat on the floor at my living room there = =.. got chairs dun1 to sit... #$#%^ like i ill treat them.. den eat watch tv tok tok abit, they went up again. Later on cut cake and sing birthday song. And we stayed arnd my room. Time passed by very fast and its midnight soon. Oh yea they staying over night. Then we played poker n comp til morning and all went to slp? i 4got.. Say wana go for breakfast but im aslp and they din wake me up lol..

Then Sunday 5th June, woke up so late le, so dunno do wat and very sianz. Rot at home for whole day. Expecting yiping to call for bball but dun have.. So sad =(

Monday 6th June.. What i did.. oh i went jogging in the evening wif my sis, bigger 1.. She run like.. nono.. jog like afew steps no str le = =.. so after walking for 1st rnd i went running for 2 rnds and saw her at the park. That time im sprinting~ very fast de ne! hur hur~ Din wear specs or contacts din see her. But her voice very loud can hear haha.. Oh yea... alot of ppl having bbq that day too.. Omg smell so nice.. luckily i cant see.. or else i'll be jogging with saliva dripping all arnd. Run back so tired all these~~ long time nv exercise man.. Leg and arm muscles pain~ coz i did pull ups too~ Mian qiang den 11 times, tui bu le~

Tuesday 7th June.. Went Chinese garden there to swim with soonjin and his frn.. Primary frns ba.. Yang Long? and Guowei o_O.. they both noe yelian too.. same sec sch haha.. Very x5 long never swim, so swim for abit TOTALLY no str and gasping for breath haha.. me weak in water! Then no googles also, in water open eyes cant get use to it and will very tired too. Then 1pm le faster go bath and had KFC as lunch~ yummy~ I luv cheese fries hahaz~ Then faster hurry to mrt station and went to BBDC. Shit sia so sway and so late for the lesson. The mrt 2x come so late, and the shuttle bus wasn't there when im at Bt Gombak, make me went fast walking over there. Late by 30mins zz.. That's still not the worse.. the instrutor wasn't there and they need go arnd find him etc.. zz.. waste me alot of time man.. The whole driving lesson is a mess. 1stly, i wearing my not up to date specs and drive. 2ndly, im wearing slippers, the feeling is totally different. The instructor ask me bare foot drive will be better, but still cant get use to it so very hai~~ den my previous 2 lessons drive auto car, now drive manual not used to it too so lan shang jia lan! Finshed that im so sad.. tio comment til siao.. never safety check properly, din change gear accordinly when making turn all these, those circuit courses all nv safety check. If tio deduct marks will deduct til fail til like shit.. haiz.... made me soooo sad and low confidence again.
Then went back home depressed, and the sky looks so dark.. will my bball session be cancelled again? i dun1 it to be cancelled!
The heaven cried heavily making the floor very wet at arnd 5pm like that. Omg so sad.. den at 7pm i called and msged Hayden asking whether is there raining and whether they still playing not. But nv reply.. The floor seems quite alright le so i went out and Hayden called back when im at my bus stop. Luckily, queenstown cc there nv rain, its still going on! Yes! happy ^^ Reach there as usual play til very happy~~ 3v3, 4v4, 5v5~ woo~ so fun.. but my stamina now sarks, i dun have much str in running when playing 5v5. Bball is really so fun!! You all must really play it man haha.. seriously! Then after the whole game, im soooo tired~ exhausted.. But today is so fun!~ cept the sad part haha.. Went back home and dididada and slp le~

Wednesday 8th June, nothing much happened.. Just that i went for my final theory test in the afternoon. Well, i passed ^_^ So that left with my final evaluation for driving and i can book for a test date le. But it'll most properbly at september when im out of bmt. I'll need some practical lessons too. Hope i can pass it man.. Or else my father keep scolding again. Zzz.. there's no talking.. only scolding. And i cant talk back, if i talk back my sister also there more scolding. This issn't right. I can only say yes to them? No i wun do that. They're too stubborn. Oh yea.. at night they wanna go dinner also farking noisy.. Father and elder sister quarrel and dunno wtf.. Father keep scolding etc.. Come out eat til so unhappy might as well dun come out tmd.. Everytime i doing something den want me come down is want me come down. Regardless of wat im doing fark it. Like now.. want me sweep the leaves.. (thursday)

Thursday 9th June, went to bugis to get cds from lok. Got illustrator, flash, photoshop and dreamweaver! Omg~ thx thx~ Went walk walk for awhile and she and her frn went acc me eat lunch.. yoshinoya and i went back home.. now gonna sweep floor and gonna go for a jog le~ ciaoz~

**life is boring without any targets.. Sighz..**
--jiaqian-->

woo~

2005-06-03T22:02:00.000+08:00

for alot of days... i've been bored to death at home.. there's no where for me to go, nobody to accompany me.. im so sad and sianz and bored.. Finally i got the chance to go out!~ Soooo happy!~

1st June Wednesday.. Where did i went.. oh i rem~ went out at night to go to Funan IT Mall to have sushi buffet~ But im so late.. Calvin, Kenneth, Lone and WeiWei are already full when i reach there o_O.. They started eating when im going out hahaz.. So that means that had ate for 1hr+ Neway.. Only some .. how spell.. Sake sushi..? eh anyway something like that.. only some outlets have the sushi buffet only. Well we can only order those coloured plates, which means non-red coloured plates. And those cost below $1.90. I ate alot~ The plates stacked up very high keke~ Thx to calvin~ helped me take alot of nice things and ordered udon.. Not sure which udon is that though.. oh yea.. and 3 hand rolls @@.. that's alot. Got chance muz go and eat again~ But the close rather early.. stopped cooking at 9 and if we want to eat muz order ourselves.. Zhong er yan zhi i ate til very song jiu dui le hahaz~ if normally eat will cost so muchhhh more.. The food on red plates looks so nice man~ but 1 plate $5.90 too exp = =.. After eating we went to watch movie at cineleisure~ Weiwei and kenneth don't wanna watch so left me, calvin and lone. But we had 1hr+ to waste, so went to play pool for awhile. Watched HitchHiker's guide to the galaxy. Its so lame and funny. But i din get all the jokes cause my english is too lousy =\ After the movie its already midnight 1+.. Took cab to calvin's hse and watched shows and played til 4 or 5+ and went to slp~

2nd June Thursday, woke up at 12+pm and prepare abit and went to clementi mrt wif calvin to meet yiping and alvin for lunch. Ate at a coffee shop. Then went back to calvin's house. They wanted to get songs and movies etc from calvin and i also burnd some movies~ Desperate housewifes.. but he only left 10-22 =(.. 1-9 i guess i need to dl myself. Alvin also got Lost from him. Im getting from him next time~ Well.. we played big 2 and watched lame shows at his hse too.. Lone went back home at eh.. forgot wat time. I also played chinese chess with yiping.. arrhh.. wo hao lan ar~ keep losing hahaz.. so long nv play le.. Then later on went dinner together with calvin's cousin daniel at bt timah plaza. KFC~ i luv KFC hiak hiak~ Yiping and Alvin went home after that, while calvin, daniel and me went to play pool~ They're soo gd ~ sianz haha.. Went home after that~ Bath finish all these jiu 11:45 like that le =\ Then play dota til 4++am.. Lincoln is going in ns on friday.. 1 day earlier den calvin.. Gd luck in there~ And its so nan de.. so many ppl online play~ Played with the lights off afraid to wake up my dad.. scared he cant slp =(

Friday 3rd June. Woke up at 12+ and online. Luckily Calvin told me to meet at 2pm Cineleisure.. or else surely cfm very cham.. yip 1+ den rem 4got to inform me and called me = =.. Reached cine at 2:20 and called Calvin and he came up to meet me and we went arcade first. I played marvel vs capcom 2~ long time nv play hur hur.. final boss 3rd 1 lost 4got how kill le sobz~ Then played daytona wif calvin. Din noe need 2 tokens and i failed to join him on the 1st game lol.. 2nd game we played advanced track.. Eh.. tt's the 1st time i used manual gear and 1st time play advance at arcade hahaz.. Seldom play this =\ And the steering wheel and gear lever sarks.. so loose = =.. hard to control hahaz.. Then went to watch Monster in law.. not bad show.. Quite funny~ Watch til ending part cannot ren le! So i went to pee~ hahaz.. The show has a happy ending~ Nearly became a sad ending!~
After the movie i wanna eat baked rice and asked whether they wanted to eat at cine.. K den we go there sat for 20secs and Calvin suggested going to swenson.. So ok we went swenson.. still ate baked rice lol~ nice nice~ The people forgot Calvin's order and we ended up waiting for a long time. Damn them. Oh yea~ and the nice banana split~ yummy~ so filling hur hur~ Then we went to Taka.. Watched some gundam exhibition thinky, Calvin went back home to pack for ns. And after walking arnd for awhile we went back home~ Sianz travelling alone from there to boon lay =( neway~ can go out im so happy ^^ so fun~~

--jiaqian-->

sianz and sick

2005-05-27T10:53:00.000+08:00

oh yea.. last thurs i had a very big ulcer in my mouth very deep, resulting me only able to eat with my right side of the mouth. Its too painful to eat on the left. And it continue for the next day and on sat i was feeling sick, but still not that sick i guess.. and so on.. and on monday, i fell sick~ i knew it.. my body was telling me i am going to be sick past few days. But i din do anything about it. Just as normal play comp, etc. Luckily i don't have driving lessons these days, or else i'll lang ga and knock everything! no lahz jk only haha.. Ate porridge cooked by my sister on monday cause i sore throat too cannot eat anything other than that =\ oh oh.. i ate durian on sunday and lotsa stuff brought back by my sis on sunday too.. her frn getting married so got food. So for 2 days i no need spend $ buy food yay~ Though porridge not tt nice hahaz.. Got to eat shld be happy le ^_^ den den.. jiu drag drag from sun til tues..

Wed 25th May i had driving lesson but luckily my illness getting away from me i guess.. So was ok and went for driving lesson at evening.

Thurs 26th May.. Had driving lesson as well at evening too.. It was raining so heavily at the start.. I was worrying how to drive properly later and what if test day were to rain so heavily too... =\ But anyway, we can get umbrella to the car where we are assigned to.. So i randomly picked 1 umbrella and when i tried to open it... the umbrella opened.. ehh.. too much.. shld be /but the umbrella became \/.. and i alamak.. den make it back to /\ and walk off.. = = behind too many ppl trying to get out of tt shelther to open their umbrellas le hur hur.. anyway.. its alright wif me lahz juz holding the umbrella need use some str to maintain it and the position very weird hahaz.. Anyway.. finished the lesson alright lahz.. Went home straight and din managed to catch the tv show where lok was in! Aiyaya.. As i expected got home at 8:20++ Winner was announced.. = =..

Friday 27th May.. Woo~ my first auto car lesson later!~ There's only 2 auto car lessons. After this, and i left with 1 more auto car lesson, 1 more practice, den final evaluation, and i can take driving test! woo hoo~ but still got finaly theory at 8June, if i dun make careless mistake shld be able to make it ^^ Planned everything so that i can finish driving before i go in army, but mistake is not taken into account.. Hope my route will go smoothly~

**going out in 8mins~**
--jiaqian-->

fun fun~

2005-05-22T15:34:00.000+08:00

17th May Tuesday. Went sp to play badminton. There's Yiping, Calvin, Alvin, SoonJin, and darren arrived later too. YunRong was there too but he went to the lab = =a.. Came all the way from amk to sp juz to go to the lab and use their comp..? What the..? Anyway i knew this cause i saw him when im going to the place where they're playing badminton. Btw.. i cant find them at 1st! i walk back and forth back and forth, not knowing they are in the indoor court between fc 3 and 5.. tot they will be at the venue above fc3.. Then i fell down at some stairs = =.. rainy day shoe slippery.. call them den pa la pa la... roll down the stairs on my buttocks T_T~ Then later yiping call back and found them ~_~ Then play play til halfway went to eat lunch (kfc) Zinger burger and cheese fries~ woo hoo i luv cheese fries!! After that continue playing til 4++ went off rest etc.. Hayden msged bball canceled T_T.. coz still raining.. sian sianz.. Then jiu went off le.. My hands are so pain! Afew fingers kena hit by racket, and right wrist and palm is pain from tight gripping and heavy swinging.. But my badminton is so lousy now zz.. When's the last time i played man.. seems so long to me..

20th May friday.. Went for driving lesson after i work up.. 1205 lesson =\ Then went for bball at Kallang. So far man~ Then play for awhile went for lunch.. After lunch continue again.. Accuracy today is very low =( dunno y T_T~ Din play for very long cause they started on 11am.. so sian sianz again~ But at least i played bball after so many days... or wks o_O~

21st May Saturday.. Went for SP choir bbq.. im not from choir.. im an extra there lolx!~ Before going to bbq, went to lok's bus stop to help her carry her chicken wings.. and its super super duper very sway!! right? *_^ 2hrs++ to get there and 1hr+ to get to pasir ris.. hahaz... 3 1/2 hrs gone! Ok start wif i take bus den change mrt and changed again at Outram Park to take NEL.. Go to Sengkang.. omg its last 2nd stop.. but that's not her place.. Still need change LRT to Tong Kang.. But but.. there's left and side lane, i know muz take left lane.. but din noe left lane will bring u to 2 different circles too.. argh den i took the wrong direction. Alighted 1 stop later after i realised im at wrong direction, then wanna take lrt back to SK, but hor... the lane go back LANE SPOILT OMG! so i muz wait for next lrt and continue in the wrong direction to go a circle.. Went back to SK and waited for the LRT to Tong Kang to arrive.. BUT hor! POWER FAILURE for that direction.. = =.. wtf!? so super sway ar! Then called lok and asked me to take bus 163.. So many methods to go sia @@ Then i nearly din get down at the correct stop, cause cant see the name of the LRT, muz turn back after the bus pass the LRT..

Ok finally arrived got down cross road saw lok.. den horz.. = =.. ok took 163 to dunno wat stop.. change bus 89... BUT... wrong direction.. that's the direction to Hougang centre.. So at there took 89 again to the destination pasir ris. Again, a but! We din get down at the right stop, cause she say the bus will continue to the bus stop we expected, but the bus nv so went on for 3 stops.. Alighted and took bus 89 back to the bus stop again.. faint.. so sway ar..

Met one of the ex choir of sp, older den them by 1 yr.. Vincent.. very friendly guy ~_~ and Juan at BK. Juan dunno wanna buy wat den walk lai walk qu... Then their dunno wat.. came and walked over to the pit.. and...... so many unfamilar faces paisei sia~ some noe from their previous trip and other things..me so extra =\ So most of time i juz stand there stone.. I looked into the eyes of a medusa and got petrify! Then like this like that walk walk see see hear hear sit sit tok tok... den one of lok best frn stacey went off =\ very early ar.. den later on 10.30pm more ppl went off.. Oh yea... they bu kui shi choir de.. all singing very gd etc~ and guitar also play very nice.. And 5 words song = =.. 6 words also.. 7 words... Oh yea.. Ceresah ur Rock horz.. is dammnnnn crappy ar.. and very gay too lolol.. Then they all also very friendly etc.. ehhz.. den stone arnd.. want slp cannot.. mat itchy and not comfortable.. Bench filled with ants.. opened my eyes when i feel like alot of hair on my right arm and saw 20378348 ants crawling omg..! faster stand up and walk arnd = =.. den tok tok.. wait everybody wake up and went off..

bball today (Sunday) cancelled at eunos too SIAN! coz too few ppl playing.. #$^% i at pasir ris go there so ez =( but think good also.. coz i at train slp til like dead pig!~ came back home 1st thing also slp.. on floor hahaz.. whole body dirty and havn't bath =\ Typed abit then muz go down sweep leaves and continue typing~ Hoho~ my father bought durians to eat.. but my freaking ulcer....... T_T..

--jiaqian-->

Colour test

2005-05-18T00:27:00.000+08:00

http://www.colorgenics.com/sps/results.cfm?d=1&colors=47130625&name=&email=

Click link to see colours i selected and to take the test ~_~ i cant paste the colour on my blog =
MOOD ANALYSIS TEST RESULTS
Your colors:

Yellow-Black-Blue-Red-Grey-Orange-Green-Pink

It would appear that you are experiencing one problem after another. When one problem is resolved, another seems to immediately take its place. It could well be that you are trying too desperately to evade or to escape from your present situation and it is 'you' that is causing the problems to manifest themselves. You need to slow down a little.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

You wear your heart on your sleeve and since you are an emotional person you are apt to give your all - heart and soul - to all those that show you a little affection; but take care - it would appear that you have been extremely hurt in the past and you keep leaving yourself wide open for punishment.

You are experiencing considerable stress which is essentially the result of on going rejection and hostility. You are in the unpleasant position where offers of trust, affection and understanding are being withheld and you are being treaded with a degrading lack of consideration. You feel that you are being denied the appreciation that you deserve, which is essential to your well-being and self-esteem, but you have to face up to the situation because as matters stand at this time there is little that you can do about it - you feel that you are getting nowhere and the continuous struggle is a lonely one: all difficulties and no encouragement. Whatever you try to say or do is met with continuous hostility and no matter how much you protest you are consistently misunderstood. You need to escape from the situation but you are so perplexed that you cannot find the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.

Matters are not all that they would appear to be and you are critical of the existing conditions which you feel are confused and disorganized. You are therefore looking for a modus operendi which will simplify the situation so that you will be able to see the 'trees in the woods'.

kukup trip~

2005-05-16T15:00:00.000+08:00

wow.. i din realise i so long nv blog le =x Ok, last friday 13th may my father went to thailand, and wow he told me on thursday. Because i asked him when i see him packing things or what ba.. dun quite rem. Then friday yay~ i can play comp til very late hahaz~ but still alright nia. Alot of people online very early. Played til 3am+ then went to sleep...

Saturday morning 14th May, Alarm clock ring and ring.. Argh irritating, i don't wanna wake up! So tired.. The time is 6am. Very early right =( Going to kukup today! yay~ should be fun ba~ but reason that i wake up earlier than i must.. is cause my passport expire today! omg.. Why cant it expire on tomorrow or what. Why must it expire today. The kukup trip is 2 days zz.. Of cause i din realise this morning, is found out yesterday = =! Then kena scold zz.. So prepare prepare jiu go out with my sister to renew it. Bought some bee hoon and some stuffs for breakfast. Later on we met her bf at Chinese garden mrt station (he came from JE mrt) and went over to Lavender.

Reached there at 7.45am like that, and our first reaction is OMG.. Wtf the queue is soooooo long.. So we decided to eat the bee hoon first. Sat beside a pillar and got 1 security guard ask us to go to the back got a park got seats there. Ask us eat at there =\ I finished fast and came over to queue first. The queue is even longer. From the Doorway to outside, to taxi stand, to the road, to the bridge. Im at the bridge = =! The door opened later and my sister joined in the queue and 1 more security guard said next time must queue together with his big eyes. Scary eh~ Went to get a ticket number at 2nd storey and well, its quite fast. Think cause most of the people is other countries people applying for things etc. And in the end my renewal of passport only take 1min, and ended up waiting for my sister. Cause she forgot to bring IC and want update the photo and have forms etc to fill in. Later on we went out to take cab to woodlands check point hopefully still can catch up with the others whose taking bus at 8am. The rain is so heavy man, dangerous.. And well.. we met up wif them after the woodlands checkpoint, why the bus is so slow i also dunno ^^Met up wif my another sis and her friend and her sister. My sister frn sister is 88 yr born. But she's the tallest -_-.. dun look like 17 yr old hahaz..

Got up to the bus and went to Johor check point. The total number of passengers is 40 = =.. Who are they? Some is my sister colleagues and frns while others is Bedok residence. Dunno who them. On the way they went to had breakfast, but we already eaten nv went down. I only discovered alot of them gone when i suddenly woke up. Slept the whole journey to kukup. Too tired. I think i had been here before. The place looks familiar. We went to eat lunch and walked arnd and 2hrs later had to eat teabreak again. Wow wow.. go there all the while is eat and eat. 1pm eat lunch til 2pm, rest 2 hrs 4pm teabreak.. den 7pm dinner.. 10pm supper wtf..!? cfm fat tio hahaz.. Lunch is not filling at all, too little =\ Teabreak ate prawn crackers with prawn on it that type and Red bean soup~ My sister lied said got curry and bee hoon but in the end dun have. Dinner is the best. BBQ food~ but we no need to eat it. The people there cooked and served us. Let's see we have what. Bee Hoon, Chicken wings, fish balls, stingray, satays, otars, crab stick, sotong, sweet potato, sweet corn, prawns. Is that it? That's all i can remember for now. Food is very nice :D Then went to put fireworks. Wow its very nice and very loud~ Those who never play before should really try it. Sis bought alot of the rocket thingy, and 6 big bombs put it up then will have those fireworks spread out 1.. My very beautiful keke~ I don't have much photos cause din take out my phone at the very last part, most of it with others~ Oh yea~ need use the joss stick to light those things or else very dangerous. And the rockets is put a bottle below it so that it can shoot up straight. Very fun ^^ Din ate the supper haaz~ My elder sis and her frn went to smoke and the 4 of us went to the "ktv room" There's so little songs haaz.. There's others in it also den is depend on the people working there to play the song etc. My elder sis and frn after smoking went back to our room and knock the doors and try to find us all these lol.. poor souls ^^ heng smaller sis bf went to toilet and saw them lolz~ Or else they juz keep sitting on the doorway. Later on jiu 12+am le den went back room watch tv awhile bath and slp le. Then in the dream i dream of some1~ forgot what happened.

Sunday 15th May argh dun wanna wake up again. Im getting so lazy man.. 10+ le i thought its still 6am+ haaz.. the others already had breakfast and went over to take the boat to the "red forest" swampy place ba.. cfm tio alot mosquitoes bites. Anyway its just sit on the boat ride 1 round nia. And so many dunno not fun.. Aunties, ah ma, babies, children = =.. Then later on had lunch over at a country club over there. Not sure which part of Malaysia is it though. The food quite nice ar~ Especially the fish sauce damn nice!~ Later on got people ask me whether wanna buy the fish sauce. I think for afew secs and said dun1.. cause my house nobody can cook. Then later on regret it~~ can buy back for others.. damn..! Abit spicy and alot of garlic taste.. how say~ very nice jiu dui le hahaz.. Oh ya.. before taking bus out we went to buy alot of things to eat. Then after lunch went to the giant at there.. My sisters also take the things like free like that. Scare si people. They might think us how many years never eat anything le hahaz~ Poor me and my younger sis bf.. we carry most of the things and is sooo heavy x_X..

4+ reach back singapore ben lai wanna play bball at kallang. But think yiping they all gonna go off soon, so ask me no need go le T_T.. i wanted to play so badly~ They started at 11am.. Sigh.. went back home on cab. Then xi li hua la, unpack etc.. and use comp. After that went to eat. Father asked my stepmother daughter to fetch him, cause he din expect us to be back so early. But in the end we went to fetch him instead. Cause my eld sis wanna drive my father car out. The thing DASH AND RAN DOWN to say her daughter need to drive my father car to fetch him. Cause her car cannot put the golf bag. But i think the reason is cause her daughter dun wanna waste her petrol oil = =.. Then say if we wanna drive my father car, might as well go fetch him. Then we just drive the car lorz.. Ate dinner at there.. A fast food restaurant.. similar to KFC, call Popeyes chicken and biscuits. Not bad the food quite nice. The biscuit too.. 1 for $1.24 lol.. biscuit inside is bread too.. After that jiu waited for my father to arrive and fetch him home ^^~ Later on jiu use comp awhile jiu zz le~

May 16 Monday. Just now i woke up dunno at wat time den started blogging.. Then thought my driving lesson is at 1355.. But the bbdc ppl called at 1pm and asked me whether im going there, cause lesson already started. My lesson is at 12.05! omg! Im super late and if i dun go will waste the $ fark! Luckily i already prepare everything hao le.. Just rush out of door and changed my pants.. Kicked my toe on the side of the bed.. The wooden part.. Damn pain = =.. Took cab there and reached at 1.20 like that.. drove for less than 25mins = =.. my driving lesson is 1hr 40 mins lorz.. sianz.. But i still got 2 chops as usual~ cause previous lesson i already did the thing before and know how to do it le.. Vertical parking and Emergency break. This instructor is the best intructor that i met last time. Teach very good. Too bad i only have 25mins =( Including time to drive out and drive back =( So i came back now wif my lunch and continue typing it ^^~

--jiaqian-->

lost..*

2005-05-05T14:35:00.000+08:00

sianz.. chinese charac cannot be read by blogspot.. cannot use it to type..
well, tuesday 3rd may, at first thought there's basketball on that day, in the end dun have, cause its vincent birthday on wed ( i din noe that til that day) and rachel quitting cresita.. night time went to fish and co. opp of ps to eat.. ordered stingray black pepper.. its very nice..!! u guys muz really try it! saw those old faces from anl, happy and lively as ever!

After the fish and co, went to ktv at cuppage.. I also don't know where is that, just follow blindly as usual. My heart is always dead and my mind is always blind. Im always feeling emptiness in myself. Well, the ktv session they had alot of fun!~ The only person seems lonely is just me hahaz.. Some left early while the rest of us left at 1am+.. I sang only 3songs there =\ 2 sing other ppl songs and be4 the session end, i sang my 1st song! After that took cab home.. a long ride to cck, den to my hse.. den to je.. later on reach home le jiu still very sianz and moody.. played guitar til 4am++ nearly 5 ba..

I seldom say lies, and i mean it.. to me, I think im very honest etc, but just nobody believe what i say, trust what i say, feel what i say.. Alot of times i dun mean a joke and ppl say not funny etc.. wassup.. its not even a joke.. Since when do i became so quiet.. or i guess its just part of me. Since when did i totally lost myself. I forgot who i am, what's my character, what's my behaviour.. Every little things out there seems to be hurting me. Argh.. maybe you all might think im just bullshitting, always see im always having fun. But the truth is.. i dun really feel happy since the start of my life. In every path i taken, people say its right and wrong. Every move i take, it seems wrong. Im never right about anything. My life is totally a confusion. I need to take 2 paths in every split roads out there, so that it can please everybody. But why muz i take 2 paths? I don't know. I just wanted everyone to be happy and in the end losing my way, don't know what's my path, don't know what's my goal. Don't know what im living for now.

I need someone to guide me, someone to trust me, believe in me. Someone who will be really there for me. One <-- this word is enough for me, for everything, anything. But one seems so far apart from me. What am i? a negative x1000 number. I can care for others, feel how others feel, cheer ppl up when they're down, calm ppl down, respect people, protect ppl, understand others, be there for anyone. But... there's none out there who can do any for me. I need to solve troubles myself, face the danger alone, walk down the trap alone, protect myself, suffer in my own shadows. Well i hope there's really someone out there could do one thing for me. Or maybe im too complicated for anyone to get near me. And I know, the one will never be there for me. Its my destiny and im forced to walk that path. I cant walk out of the maze alone. Need someone to guide me out, but there's none would enter the maze and be able to find me. The same goes for the future. People often find similarities between me and them. The reason? I experienced the same path as them, think in their mind, feel in their heart, I know exactly what would hurt them and what would make them happy. Well maybe im wrong for all the times, people are meant to be laughed, to be teased, to be betrayed, to be scold for everything he does, to be deceived, to lie, and not to be acknowledged for all the lifetime. Im sorry but i cant do that. I cant do the same to others, knowing that it would cause a crack in their heart and do it.

There's nothing more impt den having someone by your side to guide you and help you. And acknowledge your existence. But i couldn't have any... why..! This is not a world of my, i shldn't be borned. I tried to do everything to my best, to be outstanding, to be the best of anything, just to get some acknowledgement.. For every single move that i make wrong, ppl would curse and swear me, forgetting bout the past. I just cant simply make a mistake in my life!? What the hell is that! Did i do anything to hurt people, to harm ppl? Im always trying to make others life better and what i did to deserve all these and what do i get!? Fark this world. If the tsunami were to affect so many people? Why doesn't it bring my life away too. Its better than me having to suffer down here. I always claimed im clever, but actually im not.. im the most stupid person out there who do everything for nothin in return. To get banished for 1 mistake. To know someone out there is to cheat me and i got cheated, to know its a trap and walk inside.. A person who is both strong and weak is me. If the whole world is to get down with me, all i need is one who stand with me. Argh.. been crapping so much in this blog zz..

**--meaningless world--**
--jiaqian-->

busy week again~

2005-05-02T03:55:00.000+08:00

hoho.. wkdays i think most of the time i attended driving lesson and tues as usuall bball.. new attachment students went to play too on tues =) quite fun ar~~ who want play bball or wat join me man ^_^ den..........

friday 1st may.. went to watch d..... 4got the show name.. got zheng yi jian, guo fu chen and 1 more argh.. 4got too act de.. main actors lahz.. den still got others alot.. den the show is not really that nice lahz.. the ppl all bian tai 1 hahaz~ mentally! with who ar.. let's c~ poly frns~ ehz got me, yiping, yunrong, junda, teng hai and alvin! old daniel cannot make it need to work sad~ den chat chat and watch all these not bad ba~ very long nv see them le..

saturday 2nd may.. went for driving lesson again at noontime.. wahz so hot man.. singapore weather cannot make it.. den the malay instructor is quite gd and funny too =) hmmz.. after that went back home.. ben lai got wat sec sch meeting go eat at marina bay.. den omg.. 7 ppl panseh ok gd sia.. den sianz stay at home.. later on night went to china black.. ben lai is going to devil's bar budden age limit cannot.. the person checked when sis frn tried to bring us in sianz..! den nvm go there play and drink lorz~ the cigarette smoke at least not as serious as zouk that time x_X. but still cannot stand it.. aarhgh! oh yea.. went wif calvin and lone.. and went wif sis on cab =\ den git and daniel joined us at 2+am = =.. so farking late.. the queue is slow.. den i went off at 3am+ with sis.. go back on cab and we went for supper =\ den go back home jitao lie flat on bed slp le.. tired..

sunday 3rd may.. only had 3hrs+ of slp.. woke up at 8+ abit.. den hurry hurry saw juan replied my msg meet at 9 jp.. argh.. jie guo late by abit =\.. den go bedok there.. but we not latest still got alot more late.. latest is.. lok! hahaz.. and get to know their choir friends.. ehz.. all very friendly lahz.. budden they got 1 couple some prob.. hahz~ but later on jiu hao le =well den later went to a bowling alley make more of their frns.. and one of lok best friend, stacey also appeared.. let's c if i rem their names.. got me, huijuan, yelian, shiming, yen li, yew, rainbow, ruoyi, xinyu? her bf eh i dunno name...? and stacey! den later all went to rent the roller blades.. juan got bring hers so no need rent.. the rest all muz rent T_T.. den omg.. most of them never blade be4!! omg! then juan and the other know how blade de teach them.. i.. juz bladed tis 3rd time =\ + some ice skate exp so agar agar.. but dunno how teach them = =.. i use my own method... den aiya... need very gd balancing =\ den they got keep falling etc.. the most cham is lok. aiyo.. keep falling down surely very pain all these =( pa di xiong! =p~

after all these then went to meet WoW friends at asteroids.. oh yea omg.. juan, ruoyi and yenli send me to the underground passage there den i duno walked til where to dunno which bus stop.. den i took bus 196.. took 197 to come though.. reached bedok changed mrt to payar lebar and changed to cab to go to asteroids( a lan cafe).. calvin asked me to go like tt! T_T.. den i passed kevin's hse and i think i look familiar... omg its only 10mins bus ride from his hse lorz.. i freaking wasted so much time and bus all these things.. juz to go somewhere which i could reach wif 1 bus! from ecp! oh yea.. saw eve riding bicycle when im going off too =D den saw kev, calvin, lone,weiwei, kenneth, psycho, chan there.. and saw others in game friends.. cant rem their nicks lol.. den play awhile jiu went to eat..

omg here's the interesting part.. went to way jalan kayu there eat jerry's.. heard there de roti plata also very gd.. den we ate ate jerrys there.. omg got 1 buffalo chicken wings..calvin ordered and never eat it.. its like OMGWTFBBQ.. super super super spicy and hot.. insane sia.. starting afew bites taste quite sweet = =..well at least i din waste my share finished it.. some din finish some finished too.. super spicy.. who not scared can go try =D.. den we waited the food for like 1hr+ ba.. order wat triple.. duno wat.. got chicken, pork ribs, and beef/ salmon.. i ate beef.. hmmz.. very nice and filling.. den the price came out for total is amazing lol... $273.51 for 8 of us..nearly not enough $ pay sia lol... is really damn damn funny.. coz weiwei already no $.. kev also not much... wahahz.. all wallet empty T_T... den alot funny things ar.. den later on.. erh.. how are we going to get back lol.. den saw 1 lrt sign.. and it dun looks like its working.. and need walk 300m away.. den we planning to take it not.. cause there's no ppl waiting, no ppl working at the terminal... lol.. den calvin suddenly say train coming! omg den all rushed and weiwei was buying the standard ticket.. in the end he made it but not kenneth lol.. he's buying the ticket after him.. so we waited for him at seng kang.. finally some place that we know.. phew~ the whole experience down there was damn damn funny and interesting man ^_^ den later change train etc and came home~

sianz.. afew more hrs to slp and its driving lesson practice and practical again~ tired >_<

--jiaqian-->

busy week!

2005-04-24T15:34:00.000+08:00

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Hey it means sensitive and caring.. not bu nan bu nu or gay ok! hmph ><

You Are 70% Extrovert, 30% Introvert

You are quite outgoing
You are a social connector - you know a ton of people
While you aren't a wild extrovert, you are a great talker
A fantastic storyteller, you keep everyone laughing

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

Actually i cant talk very well =
alright.. cont from last monday.. 18th april.. actually i din rot @ home~ at night went ktv wif js luxiang and yanye.. den halfway yanye frn.. that ryu. oh i mean ken.. joined.. then yanfei also joined at 9.. from 7 singing til 11.. late so long! turtle man.. than quite fun ba ^_^ very long nv sing le hahaz..

tuesday 19th april.. wow busy day :D went to bbdc to sign up for driving course and lessons with calvin.. already passed basic theory test still need go attend the lesson.. cheat $ man.. but nvm.. refresh my memory.. so long already.. then after that went to lot 1 kimage to get my hair done :D nice nice now wor hahaz.. ben lai meet lok at queenstown mrt to pass her naruto cds.. budden the hair so long.. so asked her to come over.. finish 7+ le.. den pay $ she outside le! hihi~ den went to eat at fc to eat dinner... hahaz.. she same as other gals anyway.. will buy those chocolates and eat etc.. dun always say u tom boy ~_~ den after that went to queenstown cc to play bball wif hayden and vincent.. the person who is also very gd, abt same pattern as me de also there! last wk only played for awhile nia.. nice nice..! but din play much coz i reach there soooo late.. but anyway had fun too!~

wednesday 20th april.. went for the 2 basic theory lessons which is compulsory.. tired man.. need to wake up so early.. >_<>_<~ but i'll learn it fast!! T_T den also teached us bout various car parts etc... coz i din even take a look at final theory book... =\ then the trainer like wanna faint like tt lol... my bad.. will finish reading it.. sat 23rd april.. wake up went out wif js, yeowkheong and geehoe to watch movie.. coach karter.. izzit spelt like that? i dunno.. nvm.. anyway.. imo its a greattttt movie... lol... coz it involves basketball.. really very nice :D dun mind watching it again hahaz.. jiaqian = bball mad le? neway seldom watch all these so i like it.. especially those blackman and us ppl how they tok how they play.. wow so fun man.. hate it when i think of im born in singapore instead america.. jianzhang and his gf cannot make it coz they're at wat reservoir.. later on gh and yeowkheong went off to diff places, while jianzhang and shujuan(his gf) met me and js at bt batok mrt station.. going off to clementi to sing ktv @@~ eh well also quite fun.. sunday 24th april.. today went play bball at yew tee!~ meet at 9am budden i 9am den woke up.. aiyaya... so lazy man me.. so hurry hurry jiu go over.. den js say what 11am jiu go off gonna go beach... fuck him off lahz.. knn say play bball den play for awhile jiu go off.. kns.. actually dun feel like going den say what shit.. what everybody waiting for me le.. jz and kt also there liaoz.. fark.. in the end jz also nv come.. zzz... den yeoleong (hongleong brother) and his frns also went off at 12pm.. zz sianz = =.. den kt and yingkiat also went off soon.. so left me playing alone down there.. play play.. so tiring man.. sun so hot also.. but that's my main purpose.. i've turn too white le ><.. need darker.. anyone want go beach..? :D --jiaqian-->